‘Teen Mom 2’ Season 8 Episode 14 Recap: Shopping For Wedding Dresses & Standing in Your Power

That feeling you get when you finally find a dress that matches your YOLO tattoo perfectly…

It’s going to be hard to top the wonderfulness that was the previous episode of Teen Mom 2, what will all the lipstick motivations and baby birthin’ and whatnot, but we’ll give it a shot!

On this episode, Leah blesses us all with another “speaking”, Chelsea gets her kid vaccinated, Kail finally graduates college, Briana deals with the repercussions of going soulmate searching in ‘da club,’and Jenelle goes shopping for a wedding dress. (Apparently the ripped jeans and Victoria’s Secret PINK sweatshirt she wore for her first wedding back in 2012 to Courtland, the Cold Sore King, won’t suffice for her upcoming swamptastic nuptials to Lurch.)

“I’ve got me a hankerin’ to do another speakin’ y’all!”

The episode starts off with Leah, who, fresh off her cringe-worthy “speaking” event in the creepy lipstick-loaded basement, has loaded up her crew and is heading to South Carolina to visit an old friend.

Unfortunately for us this “old friend” is not Robby, the dude Leah couldn’t stop going to the boneyard with while she was married…both times. Put your deer cams away, kids, we sadly won’t be needing them today.

Leah’s pal is actually a chick named Ashton. Boo. They take the kids to the zoo and while the kids run wild, Leah and Ashton are enjoying some girl time, which largely consists of Ashton encouraging Leah to do another speaking event.

“Another speakin’ huh? You best be printin’ out yer notes beforehand this time though!”

Is Ashton deaf? No, seriously, is she? Because if she didn’t hear Leah’s last “speaking” then it’s understandable she doesn’t know what a complete disaster it was. Seriously, #NeverAgain

Leah is still determined to be a life coach/motivational speaker/lipstick hawking extraordinaire. She tells Ashton that she wants to make a difference in peopleseses’ lives. After all, she’s been so many struggles. I mean, who can’t relate to being married and divorced and the mom of three frosting-eatin’ kids by the age of 25?

Leah then reveals the root of all of her problems—it’s those ding-dang daddy issues she’s been a-fightin’ since she was a frosting-eatin’ kid herself!

When that sugar rush finally hits you…

Leah thinks that, had her daddy not left her when she was knee high to a dern grasshopper, maybe she would have made some better choices. But…then you wouldn’t be on ‘Teen Mom 2’ and have the money for hair extensions and an endless supply of cars and Sour Patch Kids, so it’s kind of give and take.

MTV should really send a thank you card to all of these girls’ dads once a year for being such trashbags because, if they hadn’t been, these girls may have turned out normal and we wouldn’t have a show to gawk at.

Is Kail about to juggle…something other than baby-daddies, I mean?

Over in Delaware, Kail is getting ready to graduate from college. Sadly, though, there will be no Smirnoff Suzi appearance at the graduation. (Raise your hand if you, too, were hoping—just a little—that ol’ Suz would get all sauced up on CVS-brand vodka and buy herself a bullhorn to scream obscenities during during the graduation ceremony.)

Kail says that her family isn’t coming to the ceremony, and neither are her baby daddies Jo and Javi. Kail tells her friends she doesn’t want any of her baby daddies at her graduation, but then corrects herself and tells them she wants Chris, aka Baby Daddy #3, to come. She tells her friends she doesn’t have any feelings, but we all know it bothers her to not have her family and breeding partners there to support her on one of the biggest days of her life.

Luckily, Kail will have plenty of pals attending the ceremony. (Has anyone ever noticed that the names of Kail’s friends all sound like colors in one of those Kardashian eyeshadow palette? There’s Bone and Sterling and Quay and…some other ones.)

Meanwhile, down in Florida, Briana’s newest addition, Stella Star, is making her way home from the hospital and big sis Nova is less-than-thrilled about having another person sucking up oxygen in the DeJesus apartment (aka Man-Hating Manor).

“Don’t worry…Luis will bone out in a week or so and you’ll be back to being my Special Helper, OK?”

Stella doesn’t seem too psyched about the situation herself, and is screaming in the car the whole way home. (Hey, kid, it could be worse. You could be like Jenelle’s daughter, who got a one-way ticket to “The Land!” Quit your belly-aching!)

Roxanne tells Briana that Stella is hungry and needs to eat. But, of course, she can’t say it like that. Instead, she tells her daughter, “Just take out ya tit and put it there” — a phrase Briana has surely heard a time or two in “da club.” Briana whips out her Dr. Miami-enhanced boob and little Stella simmers.

Once they arrive at the apartment, they see that Luis has made himself at home on the couch. As per usual, he’s just sitting there slack-jawed, doing nothing, so Roxanne takes the opportunity to grill him on how long he plans to freeload off of her.

“And Luis! Don’t you be gettin’ any of that man musk all up on my damn couch, neither!”

Luis tells her he plans to stay as many nights as he needs to… when he’s not DJing on the weekends, of course.

I mean, there’s no way Luis can take time off to get to know his newborn daughter. Without Big Lu spinning the greatest hits of the ’90s and today in the TGI Friday’s across Orlando, the club scene will basically die out before Briana can shuck off her breastfeeding bra and stuff her post-partum body into a Spandex dress and get back out ‘dere!

“In a few weeks, I’ll get a job as a magician…and you can watch me disappear!”

Roxanne asks Luis about “the trucking” and he continues to sit there quietly. She tells him he needs to have a plan for paying for diapers, wipes, formula and other items that don’t offer Instagram sponsorships. (However, for the record, I would very much enjoy seeing Luis hawking “Fit Tummy Tea” and the like. Just sayin’…)

“Did my kid seriously just call me out on national TV for being a farter!?”

Up in South Dakota, Watson is feeling gassy and Aubree is being sassy, calling out her mom for her impressive flatulence. Chelsea and Cole are discussing Watson’s upcoming shots. Cole tells Chelsea he’ll try to make it to the appointment but isn’t sure because he has a lot of stuff to do at work. (That’s a four-letter word on ‘Teen Mom,’ Cole! I’m surprised MTV to didn’t bleep it out when he said!)

It’s also worth noting that Chelsea and Cole are wearing ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ shirts in this scene. That is all.

Over in the cesspool of class that is “The Land,” Jenelle is watching Lurch as he rakes debris around and pretends to be useful, while Kaiser plays with a dog nearby.

#LandLife (But, hey, on the bright side, at least Kaiser’s out of the crib!)

We then see what is quite possibly the saddest yet most accurate depiction of who Jenelle is as a mother. While sitting on the ground, she yells, “Come here pumpkin wumpkin” and both Kaiser and the dog come running toward her. To the surprise of no one (except poor Kaiser Roll) Jenelle was talking to the dog and greets him with a giant hug while Kaiser half-hugs her shoulder and flops to the ground.

After successfully inflicting (more) emotional damage upon her child, Jenelle is off to complete her next task of the day: talking to Lurch about their upcoming wedding. Jenelle (aka “Babe”) and Lurch (aka “Babe”) also talk about their upcoming trip to New York. They are going there so Jenelle can get her wedding dress.

American Gothic: “The Land” Edition…

She can’t be caught dead in a dress from North Carolina, guys! This is a “more classier” wedding, after all! Plus, Jenelle figures if she can get MTV to pay for her and her straight-from-the-HeeHaw-cornfield soulmate to go on yet another vacation, why the hell not?

The couple then discusses where on “The Land” they should hold their swamptastic shindig. (There will have to be ample space for the police cars to park, after all.)

Jenelle then talks about bringing in her favorite restaurant, Olive Garden, to cater the event. (The Ashley told you about this weeks ago!) She hopes that she and Lurch can exchange “I do’s” with bellies full of buttery breadsticks.

Over at Barb’s house, Jace is flipping on furniture and Barb is venting about Jenelle to Producer Kristen, who is looking more and more beat down by this “bitch of a job” by the day. Barb says Jenelle is still heated about how things went down in the “cahhhtroom” but she insists that keeping Jace off “The Land” is for his own good.

“I’ll bet Juh-nelle is plannin’ somethin’ real classy for her wedding…like servin’ Olive Gaaaahden!”

Back in Florida, Luis has left the (apartment) building to go home and grab some more T-shirts and baseball hats to wear while he loafs around Briana’s apartment. Briana tells Roxanne that Luis isn’t contributing to Stella (or society for that matter). They talk about him always falling asleep while “helping” with the baby,  and Briana says his presence makes her uncomfortable. Maybe he can make her a mix tape to ease the tension?

Wait…is Leah brushing that girl’s eyebrows with a toothbrush?! Seriously…is she?

Speaking of tension, Leah is uncomfortable because it’s almost time for her to do her next “public talking.” Her friend Ashton is still around, so Leah is getting her pal “prettied” while explaining that, this time around, her speaking is going to be so much better. She’s actually thought out what she’s planning to tell these people, and Ashton has even “helped her print it out.” (Um…?)

Leah explains to her friend (who is looking more and more like the Crypt Keeper by the second, thanks to Leah’s “contourin’” skills) that she wants people to feel stronger and more worthy after listening to her talk about her own struggles.

They then head out to the restaurant (which is, appropriately enough, called “Rail House”).

“I hope y’all brought yer learnin’ brains because I’m fixin’ to give you a lesson you’ll never forget!”

She’s done “brung” everything she needs to deliver one hell of a speaking. She’s got the youngins all gussied up and she has about 537 bags (which probably contain a bunch of  lipstick shades, and possibly some of that old Mary Kay makeup Jeremy bought her that she’s still trying to hawk), and her trusty green clipboard that contains her “notings” for the speech.

Leah walks in, and most of the randoms in the crowd give her that goofy look that people give “celebrities” when they see them in real life and don’t know what to say.

Five seconds into the speech, Leah has already introduced herself to the crowd twice and admitted (AA-style) that she’s terrified.

Apparently not everybody is ready to stand in their power…maybe this girl’s more of a sitter?

“I’m gonna talk a little bit about my story—but not my story a little bit…I just…um,” Leah begins as a few ladies in the crowd begin to shift uncomfortably in their seats as they instantly regret coming to this s**tshow.

Leah is moving through her life story faster than Addie plows through a container of Duncan Hines frosting. She says her childhood wasn’t the best, and then she had her own kids. She says she had the world judging her, and that she had no idea what she was doing…you guys.

Leah talks about hitting rock bottom and standing in her power, while encouraging others to do the same. She then makes everyone write down their biggest fear on a card and announces that they’re gonna go outside and burn those cards, y’all!

“Oh…we’re gonna need another round of margaritas before we can do this crap with a straight face.”

Leah and the audience members stand (in their power) and head outside, fixin’ to make the biggest bonfire the state of West Virginia has ever seen! Ashton collects everyone’s cards (in the cookin’ pot Addie used to sit on in lieu of a highchair, from the looks of it). Leah then lights her fears on fire.

Leah tells the group that, because they all burned a 3M note card, they’re no longer going to be failures or fear rejection.

“It’s safe to say I won’t be fixin’ no raviolis in this here pot tonight, y’all!”

“Stand in your power, you guys! Every single day!” Leah tells the crowd again.

Leah’s speaking has come to an end and for a grand finale, she brings out her kids to share their “I ams” and make them super uncomfortable as 30 strangers take photos of them to post on Instagram. After the group heads out to go stand in their own power, Leah tells Ashton how pumped she is about the event went down.

Watson is bringing a Nova-level of side eye right here…

Meanwhile, Chelsea is getting the kids ready for Watson’s appointment. She tells Aubree she has to behave while they’re there (and not tell anymore embarrassing fart stories about her). While driving, Chelsea points out her old workplace to Aubree, who then asks where she works now. Chelsea tells her she’s what is called a stay-at-home mom — I mean, obviously, that’s what her shirt even says.

They all head into the office, and can assume that Watson got his shots. In the backseat of Chelsea’s car, Aubree comforts her little bro and calls him a tough man. She has him giggling almost instantly, because it’s a lot easier to be a happy child when your parents aren’t psychos.

Oh no! Leah did her contourin’ on Kail too!

In Delaware, graduation day has finally arrived for Kail. Her friends are serving as her personal assistants, shellacking her face and curling her hair. Kail tells them how rough it’s going to be to start at “the bottom of the totem pole” in the workforce after doing ‘Teen Mom’ for eight years. Kail’s friends pretend to be sympathetic to her situation, despite the fact that Kail can make more money doing one post on Instagram than they make in a whole year working at the Applebee’s.

It’s almost time for Kail to get her diploma and she’s cap and gown (and scowl) ready. During the commencement speech, the speaker (who is not Leah, unfortunately) asks the graduates to stand up and applaud those who helped them get to where they are today. Unfortunately for Javi, he missed his chance to get an obligatory thank you from Kail. (We all know that, even if Javi had come, Kail probably would have stayed seated just to spite him.)

“I ain’t playin’ wit you Luis. I’ve lit Briana’s boyfriends on fire for much less than this!”

Back at Briana’s, Luis comes in just as Roxanne finds out about a job opening through Briana’s friend. Roxanne suggests Luis look into the job…or, hell, any job. Once again, the subject of “the trucking” comes up and Luis reveals he’s looking to get into it in a few months, which sets Roxanne off.

“When I decide to go to the trucking, I’ll go,” he tells her, adding that he doesn’t need to explain to her what’s going on. Roxanne then tells him he’s a “loser, bro” and Briana agrees, telling him he “would’ve been made moves” if he were a real man.

Um…obviously Briana won’t be challenging Kail any time soon to become the reigning ‘Teen Mom 2’ scholar.

Briana also calls  Luis out for being a 31-year-old with two kids and nothing to show for himself. Well, Bri, that’s great and all but…other than the age, you just described yourself so…

Meanwhile in New York, Jenelle is getting ready to go wedding dress shopping and has found willing participants Katrina and Krista to join her for the day and pretend to be her friends. (Where the hell is Trashbag Tori in all of this?! Who better to help Jenelle choose a dress that makes her look “more classy” while still allowing her ample room to twerk in, than Tori?!)

I’m almost positive the friend on the right is actually “16 and Pregnant” Amber Portwood…

Once again, Jenelle reminds anyone who’s still listening that Barb will not be receiving an invitation to the wedding. She takes it a step further by adding that Lurch corrects her when she slips and calls Barb “mom.” Just when you think this guy can’t get any creepier…he always does.

When your friend has enough money to get her makeup done professionally randomly and you know that, come Thursday, you’ll be back to working the Taco Bell drive-thru for minimum wage…

Naturally, Jenelle is having her makeup done in the hotel before going shopping to “get the full look.” Jenelle tells her “friends” that she has more time than most people because she works at home… obviously she’s using the term “work” very, very loosely. Screaming at Lurch and then selling a story or two to Radar Online doesn’t really classify as ‘work’ but, hey, whatever pays for “The Land”…

 

Soon Jenelle and her rented pals are off to terrorize the bridal shops of New York. She goes into the first one and announces that she’s looking for a dress with a slimmer style. She doesn’t just want any dress, though, because she insists that she is someone who likes to “to think outside the box.”

“And we also have a nice selection of ‘divorce party’ dresses! Don’t forget us when the time comes!”

Wearing a white wedding dresses when you have three illegitimate kids by three different dads, five failed engagements and a divorce under your belt is already going “out of the box.”

At the next shop, Jenelle continues trying on dresses and finally makes her selection. She can’t wait for Lurch to feast his bugged-out eyes on her in this!

Finally, we check in with Kail one last time. She’s in the midst of the graduation excitement, but she still finds the time to ask a random classmate if they think Baby Daddy #3 Chris showed up for the ceremony. (The classmate just blurts out, “NOPE!”) In a sea of blurred out faces, Kail finally makes her way to the stage and receives her diploma.

When you freaking graduated college this episode but that biotch Briana STILL got more airtime this week…

Once she double checks to make sure it’s not another court-related document, she is greeted by a very excited Lincoln and Isaac. The boys are clearly happy for their mom and it’s a sweet moment. It’s nice seeing one of these girls “made moves” for their future!

To read our previous ‘Teen Mom 2’ recaps, click here!

(Photos: MTV)

 

79 Comments

  1. You’re not wrong about David, but honestly, Jenelle is the one with the longest violent rap sheep. Bullying temper? Jenelle definitely has one of those. She has at least 5 arrests for some kind of physical altercation that she’s engaged in. If the relationship ends in DV there is a high probability that Jenelle is the aggressor, and not the victim.


  2. The Man-Hatin’ Manor….so apt a name. I dread Briana’s segments the way I do Farrah’s. Nothing but b*tching and b*tching. ARGH!! Makes me want to pull my hair out, listening to the endless rants – especially from Roxanne. And then this week, Brianna’s sister wondering why they never, ever catch a break. Really? You’ve had a contract with MTV TWICE. I’d call that a break. At least the checks will pay for the sweet baby’s visits to the cardiologist and the ER. (As the mother of an autistic child who also had birth defects, I totally understand what Brianna’s – and Leah’s, for that matter – lives are like.) So be grateful for that paycheck, hon.


    1. And P.S. – LEAH, STAY AWAY FROM ‘MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKING’ (Which, in Leah’s case, was New Age, Circular-Speaking Baloney, given in the most cringeworthy way… Seriously, nothing Leah said made ANY sense in either speech. I was screaming at her to please take a speech class from a university)!


    1. Totally. There’s been a few scenes lately with Jace where it seems he is 100% over playing family picnic with Jailnelle. Good for Jace.


      1. Yes. That is classic behavior of a child wanting to express something but does not feel completely . My grandson says grama you’re chubby . just kidding. He is not kidding I am chubby


  3. During the dress shopping I just kept thinking of Princess Bride: Jenelle, you keep using that word (out of the box) I do not think it means what you think it means.

    I think she was just trying to be more smarter like Leah 😉


  4. Haven’t read the full ‘cap yet, but just saw the episode and needed to say this: Brianna and her crew were pissing and moaning about Luis being there doing nothing and how he’s cramping their style or whatever. So he leaves…and they piss and moan that he leaves? For realz?

    Frankly, I’m starting to land on the side of Luis on this issue…


    1. Luis is a loser, bro. He needed to be called out for his lack of responsibilities. The only reason why it was hard to watch is bc it was all true. Here he is getting filmed several hours a day and he can’t even fake stepping up during that time.


      1. Brianna’s mom and sister have a fight to be annoyed at Luis. They are the one’s who will have to pick up the slack for another deadbeat dad. They have been down this road before


      2. Oh, don’t get me wrong – Luis is a loser. Roxeanne wasn’t lying. My comment was solely about the:

        Why are you still heeeeerrreeeee?
        Why did you leeeeeeaaaavvvve?

        Luis has legitimate beef about that – make up his mind – you want him there or not? But he’s a total loser for sure.


  5. Wasn’t last night awful!! Poor kaiser was hungry and clearly just being 3 trying to get some attention. That was probably the worst I have ever watched them treat that poor baby. Her answer is always the same by saying he needs a nap.


  6. Oh I sooo hope you recap last nights episode!! It’s clear WHY Jenelle has got that ‘good edit’ this season – David. David and his bullying temper. I am 100% convinced this marriage is doomed to end with domestic violence and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already put his hands on her.. he has no problem doing it to a 3 year old (who, mind you should definitely still be in a 5-point harness car seat, Jenelle!!)


    1. Yes yes yes. He is obviously abusive towards her. Last nights episode was kinda scary to watch. He controls Janelle. She’s a total idiot but I do wish she gets out of this relationship before it’s too late. He is a drug addict. And what sucks more is when they divorce, his oldest daughter will still have to stay w him.


      1. And he’ll prob end up with the house! Cuz you KNOW his name is on it and he’ll say he did all the work on it… he will at least fight her tooth and nail for it


      2. I agree with you…she needs to leave him, but Jenelle constantly downgrades…the next guy might be a mix of David, Nathan, Keiffer and Courtland….She needs to be single and concentrate on that small litter of kids she has, but we all know she won’t do that.


    2. I am an occupational therapist in the school setting, after having been a special ed preschool teacher. When I saw Jenelle’s twitter BS excuse of “my son has a speech impediment and didn’t say ‘feed me,’” her so called evidence isn’t even accurate. That document was a special education preschool screening report, not an evaluation or anything indicating he currently receives any speech services. The screening results letter was dated at the beginning of September. She wants to keep passing the buck and have excuses at the ready, not will not ACTUALLY do what needs to be done. David isn’t going to allow Kaiser to have more mandated reporter eyes on this kids.


        1. On Twitter, she screen shotted convos between her and Morgan; another of her and Larry; and the third was a “letter” she sent MTV saying her son has a speech impediment so when he says “hot”, it’s really “not”. She’s super mad they put the subtitle “feed me” under kaiser, saying he didn’t say that. She deleted her twitter but other places have it. EW or somewhere similar


          1. Instagram has it up, but she’s deleted all the comments. Most people can see right through that bs. This episode was shot in July and this apparently routine screening took place in September, so this wasn’t any kind of proof that Kaiser mixes up his words. At most it’s says that he should be evaluated further. Does she think this “speech impediment” means he also cries when he means to laugh?


        2. Instagram has it up, but she’s deleted all the comments. Most people can see right through that bs. This episode was shot in July and this apparently routine screening took place in September, so this wasn’t any kind of proof that Kaiser mixes up his words. At most it’s says that he should be evaluated further. Does she think this “speech impediment” means he also cries when he means to laugh?


      1. In North Carolina, any person is a mandated reporter. Including all those MTV producers and cameramen and friends…but maybe “mandated” means something different on “The Land”.


  7. Also, did anyone else notice, that Jennelle has previously stated that “WHEN SHE GETS JACE BACK”, she’s “CHANGING HIS LAST NAME”, but now that she’s married that thought hasn’t even seemed to cross her mind with Kaiser? (I mean, thank god, but still, that’s saying something)


    1. It kills me that she says when she gets Jace BACK. When you think about it she never really had him. She left him with Barbara at birth and he has been with her ever since


      1. Right!? “You took him away from me and never let me parent him!”. My ass. The whole world watched your sneak out and throw temper tantrums to leave him home with Barb as a newborn. This is the same people that said she “couldn’t wait” for him to start daycare so she wouldn’t have to take care of him. She called him clingy, she didn’t want him then, and only wants him now because she feels like she needs to prove that she’s right, and Barbs wrong. BARB is that boys mother. Not her.


        1. David is also brainwashing her to hate her mother. He was not around when Jenelle abandoned Jace and Barbara made the sacrafice to take custody of him so that he could be with family. If not for Barbara Jace would have been in the foster care system and her rights permanently taken away. David is toxic


  8. Toxic Jenelle is at it again and abusing Kaiser and MTV stands by and doesn’t do a thing about it. She needs to lose custody of all her kids fast and get fired from TM asap!!


  9. Kailyn is a good mom now but wait til they get to be teenagers. Then she will not be in control of them. That’s when she will have problems. Kailyn is screwed up in the head. She has problems showing love and receiving love. Just watch.


    1. It’s not normal to have that many people in your house all the time. What’s she trying yo avoid? It’s not normal to have a baby at 25 and have 3 baby daddies. It’s 2017. Everyone knows about birth control. It’s tv anyway. Kailyn has good editing.


    2. She manipulates her kids now. She tried hard to put a wedge between Jo and Isaac, in favor of Javi,for example. She’s not really a good parent when she puts HER wants in front of what is good for her children.


  10. Leah as a “Life-coach” and Jenelle in a white wedding dress, this has to be some kind of cosmic practical joke, right?


  11. Now I see why they chose Briana for the show. She is literally still a 16 pregnant girl. Nothing has changed with her and she’s still mentally a 16 year old.


  12. Blah,blah blah. Child abuse,neglect, and lets take a nice family picture. Kaiser screaming ‘feed me’.


    1. Because she’s a terrible person and mother, who doesn’t want to take responsibility for Kaiser now that she isn’t with his gem of a father anymore. He thought process is basically “I have Ensley now, and I’m with David, why do I even have to bother with Kaiser if I’m not with Nathan?”


    2. Because she’s a terrible person and mother, who doesn’t want to take responsibility for Kaiser now that she isn’t with his gem of a father anymore. Her thought process is basically “I have Ensley now, and I’m with David, why do I even have to bother with Kaiser if I’m not with Nathan?” She’s trash.


  13. Jenelle is certainly digging a deeper hole for herself. As Barb has said, she likes to “play happy family” with Lurch and the neglected children when it suits her. I’m just hoping for the sake of that little boy, that someone says enough is enough and takes Kaiser away. It’s getting unbearable to watch how he is treated or mistreated, rather. MTV should be ashamed of themselves for standing by and filming it and not doing anything about it.

    If it was anyone abusing their child like that on film, they would be dragged across the coals! But not Jenelle. B*tch always tries to make excuses and paint herself as the victim.


  14. OMG, when is Jenelle finally going to face actual consequences for her actions? What is it going to take for the SC authorities to step in and advocate for her children? Watching, or even reading about her segments makes me lose all faith in humanity. She is a wretched human being, and so is every complicit person who enables her.


  15. Jenelle and her statement on instagram smdh… She’s a piece of shit, that little boy is living in terror and comes second best to a DOG. Thank God she didn’t get Jace back


  16. I hope Leah realizes motivational speaking is NOT HER THING either! I got second hand embarassment just from reading this, geez.

    We all knew Jenelle is a sh*tty mother but this really proved it. She is also easily manipulated, it’s disgusting David made her never call Babs “mom”. I wish someone would make Jenelle’s kids not call her like that at all too.

    Chelsea, lol, if your biggest fear is your daughter talking about your farts in public, then your life is really boring now.

    Good for Kail to graduate college. It’s weird she wanted Chris there but not the other two. So does she wants him in Lux’s life or not, which one is it?

    Briana……..meh, her family is disfunctional and Luis is a deadbeat but I can’t feel sorry for her, I just can’t.


  17. Roxanne is savage (dude)! Luuuu-iss talks about not disrespecting her and tries his best to be polite, and then girlfriend goes “loooser” and cusses him out LOL. I was waiting for her usual throw-something-at-this-loooser-baby-daddy scene, like her red shoe or a vase. No wonder he left, they flat out humiliated him. Even though he’s definitely not a catch,nor is Brianna. Getting knocked up at 16 and then getting knocked up from a one night stand while still living with momy? Yeah, you sure are people to call others loser…

    Also, Cole, I’m disappointed at you. This is not how dads behave on the show. You surprised your wife and step-daughter by showing up to Watson’s appointment instead of letting them down? You took time off work? Whoaa, you WORK?? You don’t have drama like getting arrested or HIGH! HIGH!

    Of course, irony. Kudos to Cole! I would actually watch a Being Cole special. It would be nice to see how a devoted, nice dad with a job deals with a newborn and a step-daughter for a change, not those losers like Matt or Nathan…


    1. I would LOVE a “Being Cole” special! Chelsea got a good man. I don’t find Chelsea’s segments boring at all, and wonder why others say they do. It’s NICE to not see “dramastic” crap and have my blood pressure driven through the roof. I hope so much that Adumb allows her to change Aubree’s last name to include Cole’s last name. 🙂


  18. The scene with Jenelle, Kaiser and the dog was probably the most heartbreaking moment I have seen on this show. I hope and pray that Doris is granted custody of that sweet little boy so he might possibly have a shot at experiencing love and protection from an adult. But then, there was the heartbreaking moment in tonight’s ep where the Mother and Father of the Year are taking ridiculous save the date pics while poor Kaiser is sobbing “Feed me” and Lurch is essentially throwing Kaiser out of the way of their camera. To me, that looked like child abuse and yet MTV didn’t do a damn thing to protect Kaiser. I hope Kaiser sues MTV in the future for their failure to protect him from the shitty adults who are his legal guardians. I can’t even call Jenelle and David parents because that is an absolute insult to all the loving, compassionate and responsible parents. Say what you want about the other moms on both series but they all clearly love their children. I don’t think Jenelle even comprehends love and parenting. So so so sad.
    #freekaiser


  19. Ooookkkk, was Nova seriously not buckled in? There was nothing correct about that situation. That bitch is either too stupid or too lazy to have children. And while she’s having plastic surgery number 57, she needs to get those moles removed. Ive had a couple, it’s a small circle scar and so much better than growths on your face.


  20. How long before they would even notice Kaiser was gone and it wasn’t Nathan’s weekend? This was the saddest episode ever and I am at the point where I don’t want to see how Jenelle’s kids are abused any more. And yes what was going on with David ordering the crew off”his” property then them both pretending “That never happened”?


    1. Yeah, that was so weird. You are threatening to call the police on MTV for trespassing but the next day, you essentially accuse the produce of imagining the entire thing. And then Jenelle just sits there, not saying a word except to show off your new lava lamp, I mean jelly fish?! Clearly neither a David nor Jenelle were sober in the 24 hours prior.

      I’m gettin fed up with that producer we always see in the Jenelle/Barbara segments. She is such an enabler and coddles Jenelle endlessly. Producer (whatever your name may be)— please remember, Jenelle needs MTV more than MTV needs Jenelle.


      1. I believe that’s called “gaslighting”…The person makes you feel like you imagined it all and are crazy for thinking something happened (when it DID!). My ex tried to do that to me for years. Fights, and then pretending they didn’t happen, and all of the “I love you’s”…when you just threw me across the kitchen? No, son. Not falling for it. David scares the hell out of me. He triggers my abuse PTSD. Alarms going off everywhere. Those kids need to be removed from that house. #savekaiser


  21. She’s not smart enough, she has NO idea what she wants to do with her life, and she doesn’t want it badly enough to put in the dedication. I knew from the moment she signed up it wouldn’t last more than a couple weeks. She’s just not cut out for college. She needs to find something else. Besides, as soon as she finds her next guy she’ll want to go back to being a SAHM anyway. For Leah college would just be a waste of $.


    1. damn it. that was supposed to be in reply to the girl saying it was too bad Leah didn’t go to college. Anyway, the distance was her convenient excuse. NOT the reason. When she was a drug addict she didn’t have any trouble traveling far distances 5x/week for her stuff. But for school it’s an easy excuse.


  22. I feel a little bit weird for saying this but… I want to hear more about Chelsea’s farts.


  23. I didn’t think it was possible possible to dislike Jenelle anymore than now but she has achieve the impossible. Tonight’s episode showed Jenelle and Lurch kissing and taking wedding pics while Roll cried and said”feed me” MTV even gave subtitles to show what he said. Jenelle and Lurch couldn’t have cared less. In next week previews jace will tell Jenelle he doesnt want her to marry David proving what Baba has been saying. If someone starts a fund for Doris to get the Roll I got 5 on it.


    1. Apparently tonight’s episode was scary, complete with David acting like a total psycho and then acting like nothing happened.

      Jenelle even deleted her Twitter account today, probably because she knows she’s going to hear it…


      1. It was so bizarre and scary! He even put his sunglasses on during the conversation, while sitting on the couch…

        Also, when Jenelle picked up Jace from her mother, he told her that he didn’t want her to marry David. Even she asked why, he said “just kidding,” or something. So sad that he can’t express how he really feels, not that she’d care.


    2. Agreed. It was heartbreaking to see poor Kaiser crying the way he was. Maybe one of those MTV producers should snag him when they leave The Land for the day, drive straight north to Canada, and never look back. It might be better for all parties involved…


      1. How long before they would even notice Kaiser was gone and it wasn’t Nathan’s weekend? This was the saddest episode ever and I am at the point where I don’t want to see how Jenelle’s kids are abused any more. And yes what was going on with David ordering the crew off”his” property then them both pretending “That never happened”?


  24. Kailyn may be a terrible wife and girlfriend, but out of all the girls on the show I see her doing something with her life after teen mom. She has a college degree, her children are clean and well behaved, she seems to really love her children, and she keeps a clean house. She has a nasty attitude and treats the men in her life like shit however I do think shes a great mom. I like Chelsea both her children always seem clean and well taken care of however her house always looks messy I feel shes pretty lazy. Speaking of lazy Leah who is a twice divorced, ex-pill popper, ex dick hopper, ex college student, now motivational speaker…..Then there’s Briana who is mentally slow I also think Luis is slow. She constantly berates Luis for not doing shit with his life but what has she done? Jenelle self explanatory #prayforkaiser.


    1. I totally agree. Kail is a great mom. She doesn’t spend the whole day under a blanket ignoring them. She’s got them in soccer, she’s at their school events, Isaac took an art class, she does homework with Isaac, they’re always neat and clean, and Isaac is a FANTASTIC, sweet kid. People hate Kail for her personality, which is their right, but they take that and use a ridiculously broad brush and act like she’s awful in every move she makes.
      Personally I cut Kail a lot of slack for her bristly personality, because I think it’s a direct result of having to raise herself. She hurts others before they have a chance to hurt her. She’s got a brick wall up a mile high, trying not to have feelings. But she holds it all in and then explodes in anger. She really needs a good therapist. But even if you don’t care about any of that, or didn’t watch the beginning when her mother showed what a horrible mother she was, to say she’s a bad mom just because you think she’s rude and snippy isn’t fair, imo. I’m happy for her that she graduated on top of all that. I hope she can take advantage of her MTV connections and get herself a steady job in her field.


    2. Kail is a mystery to me. She seems like a nice person to her friends and everyone else but for some reason she doesn’t treat her boyfriends/husbands well. Maybe it has something to do with her upbringing and the way her mother was and not having her father in her life. I don’t know. I do agree with you though. She seems to be a very good mother and finished college so I do give her credit for that.


    3. With her father missing in action and her mother an alcoholic who put her boyfriends before her daughter, every day that Kail goes without human body parts in her freezer is a win.


    4. Didn’t Kail say in one of her books that she had been raped once or more times? Maybe that’s where her attitude towards men come from? I’m sure it would be hard to get past something like that.


  25. Don’t get me wrong; Luis is useless. But I actually felt a little bad for him while watching this episode. First Briana said his presence made her uncomfortable; then two scenes later she’s running to her mother in the middle of the night crying that he left. A few episodes ago Briana and her man-hating crew were bitching that he would be away for the baby’s birth while off at trucking school, so he stayed; now they’re barking at him that he doesn’t do anything.

    As soon as Briana makes enough Teen Mom dough she needs to move out on her own. Her mother and sister are the definition of misery loves company. Their complaining that Luis does nothing is the pot calling the kettle black. What does the sister do besides sit on the couch scrolling on her phone, chiming in on Briana’s business? For God’s sake, pick up a damn book.


  26. Jenelle favoring the dog over Kaiser is just…ugh. It’s not even entertaining. It’s just heartbreaking what that baby’s life must be like. This was a planned baby and both parents were bored with him within weeks. Jenelle is the biggest POS scumbag I have ever seen.


  27. I’m a Greenville, SC native and I’m mad I didn’t get an invite to Speaking 2.0.

    I would have bought all the ding dang MLM lipsticks.


    1. This must be one of those brain teasers that are impossible to solve. Do I hate Farrah or Jenelle the most??? Merciful heavens, no one can make a decision like that!!! LOL!


  28. It’s disappointing that Leah didn’t continue going to school. I know the campus was far from her and all but I still think she could’ve done it if she really wanted to. I know some single moms that have to drive an hour to get to work or they have to take the bus to go everywhere. They do it because they have to. And they don’t get massive MTV paychecks, unfortunately.

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