Note from The Ashley: With ‘Bachelor in Paradise’ in full swing, the producers of ‘The Bachelor’ franchise are scrambling to find the next “looking for love” ladies to cast on the upcoming next season of ‘The Bachelor.’ (We are reminded of this before each commercial break, when Chris Harrison comes on to tell us that the show is currently hosting casting events to find women to date their next Bachelor…whichever of Becca Kufrin’s rejected men that may be.)
The Ashley has always wondered what it was like to attend one of these ‘Bachelor’ casting events, so she sent in a special guest reporter to try out for the show, and tell us what really goes down!
The following is Bridget’s* (name changed to protect the sneaky) account of what happened at her audition for ‘The Bachelor’ this summer…
I’m not sure how I got here, but it was a weird month that included lots of changes and a brief unemployment period. My New York City-based BFF decided that she wanted to go try out for ‘The Bachelor’…and she wanted me to join her at the auditions.
Full disclosure, I can count on one hand how many episodes I’ve seen any ‘Bachelor’ show. I have no idea who I would even want to be the next ‘Bachelor.’ (That Juan Pablo guy is not still on the show, is he?)
I do know, however, that I’m newly single and one bad date away from loading up on cats and calling it on dating. Against my better judgement, I agreed to go to the audition with her. I figured it would at least give me something to make fun of and— who knows?— maybe I’d end up with one of those gigantic Neil Lane diamond rings on my finger in a few months.
Before we got to the audition, my friend told me that I shouldn’t dress “so extra.” I don’t know what that means, so I showed up in a standard black ensemble. I figured that outfit would work regardless if I’m about to begin my very own “journey to find love”…or if I am planning to mourn the end of my dating life all together.
From the little I do know about the girls who appear on ‘The Bachelor,’ I realized I was going to need some alcohol in order to help me achieve the level of peppiness that is required for a contestant on this show. We had a few drinks beforehand, and, before I knew it we were waiting in line with every thirst trap and her mother for an opportunity to find true love…and by that I mean a Flat Tummy Tea endorsement, obviously.
The other girls who were auditioning were dressed anywhere from “casual first date” to “awesome ’80s prom.” The audition announcements do not give us potential ‘Bachelor’ soulmates any idea of what the hell you’re supposed to wear to these things and it showed. Some girls looked like they were about to hit the gym, while others girls looked like they were about to hit the crack pipe!
I saw every extreme– from girls who looked like they had literally rolled out of bed and come to the audition, to one chick who seemed ready to go straight to the Bachelor Mansion, as she was dressed in a black-tie-level formal gown.
The whole experience felt so fast, but I would say we were there for about three hours in total. The casting producers (and other various people with clipboards who were trying to look important) were kind, but all business. They herded us like a gang of mini-skirted cattle through the various rooms.
The lines were super long, and it was obvious that the producers could spot the girls who had just that right combination of above-average looks, potential to be a complete dumpster fire on TV and, of course, the dash of desperation needed to go on one of these shows and keep a straight face.
The girls who were deemed to have “potential” by the casting producers were quickly removed from the cattle lines and ushered to the front. My friend and I were not scooted to the front of the line and, although I was only there for “scientific reasons,” I have to admit, it did kind of sting a little bit to be kept with the rest of the “commoners.”
One of the girls I met in line told me that it’s “the same every year” for auditions. (Apparently she keeps going back, though, hoping to eventually be in the group of chosen girls who get to go to the front of the line?)
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We stayed behind with the regular people, filled out forms, got our pictures taken and did our on-camera interviews.
After the interviews, my bestie told me she bombed the on-camera portion because she doesn’t have many hobbies…outside of drinking. I really don’t either, but I rode a horse once or twice and felt that was enough of a “hobby” to include on my dating app profiles so I wrote that down.
The questions they asked us were pretty standard: they wanted to know my age, my job, why the hell I am subjecting myself to this, and whether or not I am wanted anywhere in the United States.
They also wanted to know about my dating history. I hate talking about that topic, but people are usually amused by the unfathomable amounts of unsolicited penis pics I get (not to mention the high number of inappropriate “I love you” bombs) from the unstable dudes I can’t seem to stay away from, so I told the producers all about that.
The producers doing the interviews were nice to everyone. They didn’t tell me if I would advance or not, but they did wish us all good luck. I would need it, of course. I think I literally have a better chance of actually losing weight using that Flat Tummy Tea than getting cast on this show.
It was kind of fun to see how it all worked, though. When I watch a reality show, I am usually thinking, “Where the hell do they find these people?” Now I know…
You almost certainly will not be seeing me on the next season of ‘The Bachelor.’ However, I will say that the audition experience wasn’t nearly as unbearable as I thought it would be.
(Photos: Instagram, ABC)