“Teen Mom” Bully Amber Beats Gary: Why is This OK?

I think we need to call Farrah's mom over to straighten Amber out...

Paging Dr. Drew! We need you to  leave whatever  has-been celebrity  you’re giving rehab treatment to right now and head up to Indiana for some major Amber/Gary intervention.

This week’s episode of Teen Mom just made me feel awkward.
The episode was pretty blah for the most part in the way of Maci, Farrah and Catelynn story lines: Maci works out a custody deal with Ryan in which they plan to split their time with the Bent-ster down the middle each week. (Um…no word on who is going to be making that 2-hour drive from Chattanooga to Nashville every week! My guess is that it ain’t going to be Ryan!)

Farrah finally gets her DNA test to prove that Derek was Sophia’s dad. (However Maury Povich was not there to read the official results. Bummer!) Sophia meets Derek’s sister Kassy, who also appears to be a “Teen Mom” (without the MTV salary though!)

Catelynn learns that she and Tyler will not be graduating on time. As always, these two handle this hardship with grace, and prove that they truly are a class act. I seriously heart them both!

The episode did have one special pip, however. Catelynn tells her mom she wants to graduate from high school so she’s not a loser….and then her mom gets offended because she, surprise, surprise, did not graduate from high school. Seriously, lady, you have a white trash husband with a mullet and a jail record that could stretch from here to China, you scream at your daughter like a crazy person, and your house is one huge cloud of cigarette smoke…how can you get offended when someone calls you a loser?

Am I the only one who thinks she looks JUST LIKE Roseanne Barr circa 1994?

OK, now on to the awkward part. Plain and simple, Amber decides that she needs to beat the crap out of Gary. Seriously.

He comes to get his stuff after she kicked him out (again), called him a fat ass (again) and told him to get the f— out of her f—ing house (again) and she just explodes on him. She gets all creepy in his face screaming “Push me down the stairs!” He, of course, does not, but I will!

She presses up  against his mound ‘o’ stomach and screams at him and then proceeds to punch him hard in the face multiple times. (I guess all that MMA fighter training is going to come in handy for boyfriend-beating!)

That’s not all that this crazy oompa-loompa does. As he’s walking down the stairs, she kicks him and slaps him from behind.

Why is this OK?! If this was Gary beating Amber, MTV probably wouldn’t have shown the footage, the cops would have been called and Gary would still be sitting in some cell somewhere with a guy named Bubba. But because it was a woman hitting a man, it’s treated almost comically. (And, no, MTV, running that little “If you or someone you know has been affected by domestic violence” notice at the end of the show doesn’t make it better!)

amber portwood
I can see an action-packed MTV made-for-TV movie in the future...

After the scene ended, I just sat there wondering if I should call the police. I’m kidding, of course, but really, someone should have. You can’t beat people, Amber. Even if you don’t like someone, or even if they truly are a worthless fat ass, you can’t beat them.

She’s a bully and needs to spend some time in the slammer on domestic violence charges. That should make Ambo (my new nickname for her: Amber + Rambo= Ambo) think twice before pounding her fists into Gary or anyone else. If she starts beating baby Leah is that going to be OK, too?

What do you guys think?!


  1. i think your absolutely right about the whole “Amber beating Leah” part. It is a proven fact that if you beat your partner, eventually you will start beating your child. Which is horrible ! She does not deserve to have her beautiful daughter in her custody at all. And Gary needs to stop trying to go back to her, she treats him like shit and he really is a very sweet man.

    1. You are so right! I loved the florists’ face when Amber called to yell at Gary while he was sending her flowers! She was like what the hell are you doing?!? Poor Gary needs to get some self confidence and dump that bully!

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