Last year, The Ashley discovered a show that trumps Teen Mom, Road Rules/Real World Challenge, and even The Bachelor in terms of bitchy women, staged drama and mind-numbingly bad story lines. You’re Cut Off is pretty much all of these shows rolled into one brain cell-killing ball. And The Ashley freaking loves it!
For those of you who have not had the privilege of watching this VH-1 masterpiece yet, you can read The Ashley’s plot summary from last season here.
This group of spoiled, “rich” princesses is much more entertaining than last year’s. We still have the same general cast of characters. Replacing last season’s house antagonistic bitch, Gia is Jen, a West Hollywood idiot who acts like life is one big Playboy party. She drinks too much boxed wine and basically drills her annoyance into everyone else’s ears.
Who else? There’s one chick, Aimee, who should win a Razzie Award for her bad acting. When she’s informed that her lifestyle is about to change, she awkwardly screams “Nooooo!” SO. FREAKING.BAD. I haven’t seen this bad of acting since Lindsay Lohan was in court pretending to be sober.
Then there’s Lauren, who describes herself as a HBBQ (Has-Been Beauty Queen). She’s cute as a bug and seems to be super sweet. Why the hell is she on this show? She should really be on a show like The Bachelor! Move to network TV, honey! You’re way too good for VH-1!
Anyway, the girls are introduced in the first episode. They are all lined up and told that, despite what they think, they are not here to compete to be “The Next ‘It’ Girl.” (Bummer?) In fact, one of the girls among them is actually…an impostor! She’s not fabulous or rich! (OMG!)
We then find out that the impostor girl is actually Life Coach Laura, and the girls have been cut off by their rich families (OMG!) They are taken to a (super-cute) little house and told that they will be bunk-bedding it up for the next eight weeks until they learn not to be spoiled. (OMG!)
By the second episode (which aired this week), we really start to get into the good stuff. The girls are basically tricked. Life Coach Laura rewards them by allowing them to go to a country club. The girls get excited and start ordering drinks, massages and some nasty-looking buffet food. What they don’t know is that they are being tricked— nothing is being paid for and they’ve basically stolen all of the stuff they consumed at this fancy country club because they’re CUT OFF and have no money.
Anyway, so the girls are told that they must work off their pool tab by working at the country club in various jobs. First, they must change into the blue polo and khaki pants uniform. Well, a few of these “fashionistas” decide they can’t be seen wearing that uniform so they change it up a little.
One girl, Nadia, decides that the blue shirt would look better if she wore her own denim shorts with it. Um, honey, nothing would look better if you wore those shorts with it. As one of the other girls puts it so beautifully, “Nadia should never be anywhere near the shorts aisle. No one wants to see your thunder thighs or your crotch hanging out.”
Another girl, Hana, ops for a fashionable polo-pants-less look. (Don’t worry, she does wear her thigh-highs with the shirt though.) This show is RIDICULOUS!
Anyway, so as expected, some of the girls put up resistance to the various jobs they’re given: cleaning tennis courts, bussing tables and fishing golf balls out of the lake. Other girls, like Marcy, get the job done but are upset that some of the other chicks totally disregard their chores.
Don’t fear— the girls who did a good job are rewarded with a trip to the Mission Hills Bowling Alley, where they antagonize a poor teenager into getting them alcohol and waiting on them.
Back at home that night, Jen has once again consumed too much boxed wine and is walking (OK, wobbling) around the house looking for trouble. She finds it in Aimee. She pulls her hair and starts to try to get someone to wrestle her. (As you do.)
Most of the girls end up going outside (probably to get away from Jen’s stank boxed wine breath) and start to play croquet. Here comes Jen, once again looking for trouble. She wants to play, but Aimee says no. Jen pulls her hair and tries to grab the croquet…mallet? Stick? Whatever it’s called. And that’s when madness ensues!
Later, Life Coach Laura tells the girls that violence, and beating people with mallets will not be tolerated. Aimee, Jen and several other girls fail the lesson.
This show is amazing!!!!!!!!