* Trigger Warning: This story contains mentions of sexual assault. 

America’s Next Top Model alum Shandi Sullivan is speaking out about how her on-set sexual assault was allegedly manipulated by producers, and revealing the way the scene affected her public and private life after the show.

Shandi– who competed on Cycle 2 of ‘ANTM’ in 2003– appears in the upcoming Netflix docuseries, Reality Check: Inside America’s Next Top Model, alongside other former contestants and show creator/host Tyra Banks. In a clip from the docuseries, Shandi discusses the Milan trip she took as one of the Top 5 contestants in Cycle 2, and how an event during that trip ultimately defined her run on the reality series.  

“When we first got there, they said, ‘You’re gonna go on a bunch of go-sees,’” Shandi recalled in the clip obtained by People. “That was all day long. It took all day. And then we went back to our little house that we were staying in. 

“And I don’t remember who said it, but somebody was like, ‘How would you guys feel about having, like, the guys that were on the mopeds come by and have dinner with you guys? And we’ll have some wine and stuff,’” she continued. 

Shandi noted that at the time, she was “just excited to have a night” to herself after going without food or sleep that day, though what was supposed to be a fun night allegedly took a turn. 

“I remember getting in the hot tub,” Shandi explained. “I remember [fellow contestants] April [Wilkner], Mercedes [Scelba-Shorte] getting into the hot tub. And then I just remember the guy looking at me and I looked at him and I was pretty drunk at that point. Everything kind of after that is just a blur.” 

Through tears, Shandi described the incident, claiming she remembered one of the men being “on top of” her, at which point she was “blacked out.” 

“No one did anything to stop it,” she said. “And it all got filmed, all of it.” 

While Shandi recalled that she was “hammered” and only remembered “bits and pieces” of the event, she does remember the man throwing her in the shower, as well as the two of them being in bed. 

“I was blacked out for a lot of it,” Shandi said. “I didn’t even feel sex happening. I just knew it was happening. And then I passed out.” 

Shandi also remembered waking up the next morning wondering, “what the f**k happened,” before the events of the previous night came back to her, at which point she “just sat there and cried.” (This moment was caught on camera and aired on ‘ANTM,’ showing Shandi saying she, “just [wanted] to die.”) 

Instead of production showing the truth of the incident or cutting it from the episode entirely, the storyline became that Shandi got drunk and cheated on her then-boyfriend Eric. The episode, titled, “The Girl Who Cheated,” also featured Shandi’s phone call to Eric, where she broke the news that she “cheated,” ending with an explosive argument between the two. 

“Afterwards, I’m just laying on the floor, in a fetal position, just crying,” Shandi said. “I get up to leave and [the producers and camera crew] both came up to me and said, ‘We’re really, really sorry that we had to film that.’ They just knew that this isn’t right. Like, why are we filming this?” 

In a clip obtained by The Independent, ‘ANTM’ executive producer Ken Mok– who also appears in the upcoming docuseries– defended his choice to not interfere with the assault and to include it in the show. 

“We treated ‘Top Model’ as a documentary and we told the girls that,” he explained. “There’s going to be cameras with you 24/7, and they’re going to cover everything, the good, the bad, and everything in between.” 

Ken also defended the phone call scene, claiming that the call was only allowed to happen after Shandi threatened to quit the show. He also insists that editors “scaled back that scene” and concluded by saying, “That was, for good or bad, one of the most memorable moments of ‘Top Model.’” 

Shandi– who went on to place third on Cycle 2– explained in the docuseries that, despite their best attempts to make things work, she and Eric broke up not long after her season ended. 

“He moved with me to New York after the show,” she said. “But it would suck when I was walking with Eric down the street and somebody’d recognize me and call me a slut to my face with Eric standing right next to me.” 

Shandi has since given up modeling to “take care of animals for a living,” and hopes to eventually live on and run her own animal sanctuary. 

‘Reality Check: Inside America’s Next Top Model’ premieres February 16 on Netflix. 

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(Photos: YouTube; Instagram; Netflix)