Former Project Runway mentor Tim Gunn revealed this week that being cheated on by someone he loved “deeply” made him choose to abstain from sex– something he’s continued to do for more than 40 years now.
The 72 year old opened up about his life-altering breakup on a recent episode of Chelsea Handler’s Dear Chelsea podcast, telling the comedian that he was in a “very serious” nine-year relationship with this person when things came to an end.
“ … I loved this person deeply and would have done anything for him,” Tim said. “And I still remember the night that it all ended.”
Tim went on to recall that he and his ex were in bed watching TV when his ex informed him, “I have no patience for you any longer. I want you to leave.”
“I had my own apartment, but I had been living with him for years,” Tim said. “And I left. I drove to my apartment … and I had to pull off because I was hyperventilating. I was beside myself with self-flagellation and self-pity. And it was awful.”
What made the situation worse, Tim explained, was that he and his ex worked together at the time, so he knew that never seeing him again wasn’t an option. Even worse was that his ex also revealed that he had been unfaithful many times throughout their relationship.
“One of the things that he told me that night was that he had been sleeping with just about everything that walked by,” he recalled. “And I had been loyal and faithful to him.”
The former Making the Cut host noted that his ex was the only person he had ever been with, and that learning about his former partner’s multiple instances of infidelity left him angry and fearful for his own health.
“The self-pity then turned to completely unbridled anger because I thought he may have given me a death sentence,” Tim explained. “And I was tested every six months for ten years for HIV and thankfully I had a clean slate. But whenever I was even tempted to engage in something that could become serious with someone, all this would come back like Niagara Falls, and it would just take the desire away.”
Tim admitted that choosing to be celibate and being “someone who lives alone” was “a bit of an adjustment” for him initially, but now he “wouldn’t have it any other way.” He also pointed out that his chosen lifestyle made staying at home during COVID easier for him than many others.
“I’m probably one of the few people who really loved it,” Tim said of pandemic sequestering.
While his breakup had a massive impact on his personal life, Tim said if the relationship had not fallen apart, he would have never moved to New York the following year to teach at Parsons School of Design, revealing that he had previously turned down the same job offer when he was still with his ex. More importantly, the job in New York allowed Tim to put some much-needed distance between himself and his ex/co-worker, noting that it was “completely horrible” seeing his ex at work following their split.
“I wanted to kill him,” Tim said. “And I wanted him to hurt as badly as I had been hurt. He seemed to be impervious to it, though. So it was just great to get away. And also moving to New York, I had this huge learning curve about this entirely new environment and different social interactions and a completely different academic environment in which I was teaching, so that was wonderful.
“I won’t say it was a distraction, it was just a new beginning,” he added.
Tim also assured fans that despite choosing to remain celibate, he did eventually get over the pain of his breakup.
“It took a while,” he said. “And, you know, I occasionally relive in it my head, but it doesn’t hurt any longer.”
Click here to listen to Tim’s full interview on ‘Dear Chelsea.’
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(Photos: Instagram)
