Jillian is Leaving ‘Biggest Loser!’ Prepare for a Annoying New Trainer (or Two!)

"Still buy my crap, OK?"

Yes, ‘Loser’ fans, you read that right. Jillian Michaels is ‘losing’ The Biggest Loser.

Jillian announced her big news on Twitter (as you do in these high-tech ages. It’s not official until it hits Twitter, ya’ll!)

She twitteredededed:

“Season 11 of Biggest Loser will be my last 🙂 have to finish out my contract.”

Why would she leave a hit show that enables her to make boatloads of money off those annoying “Biggest Loser” product placements?! Anyone want a Jillian Michaels Colonic Cleanse? A Jillian Michaels Crossbar Kit? A Jillian Michaels Wii Fitness game? Well, someone does because all of these things exist and sell like hotcakes! (Did you know you can buy a Norditrack that has Jillian’s voice programmed to yell at you? No, seriously. I saw the infomercial today!)

Pretty soon this will be all the Jillian you're going to get...

Anyway…Jillian says she has a good reason for wanting to leave the show…she wants to start a family. She told E! Online that doing the summer show Losing It With Jillian (which The Ashley did not watch) made her realize what she was missing being child-less. (Um, but what about the boatloads of cash you’ll be missing?!)

Recently, Jillian revealed that she can’t get pregnant due to endometriosis and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (Google it!) So she’s going to do what most celebrities do: adopt. Of course, at first she kind of fibbed when she talked to Women’s Health Magazine and said the reason she wanted to adopt was because “I can’t handle doing that to my body.”

Why not tell the truth that you aren’t able to have children rather than make up a crappy lie that makes you sound like a woman who’s body-image obsessed? Or even better, just don’t say anything at all. Seriously. We don’t need to know everything. (Of course they totally used her quote and misconstrued it, proclaiming “Jillian Michaels Can’t Handle Getting Fat While Pregnant!”)  

So will we see Jillian again? Of course! In addition to seeing her face peppering the shelves of your Walgreen’s Health & Nutrition section on every weight loss product under the sun, you can also catch her on her new daytime talk show (yes, talk show) which will premiere in the fall of next year.

biggest loser
"'Member me?!"

So who are they going to get to replace her? Please don’t try to foist that blonde Barbie trainer, Kim Lyons, from Season 3 and 4 on us again. (‘Member her? She was the one whose team got pummeled when Jillian came back as the surprise black team in Season 4.) Luckily, she has disappeared into the Biggest Loser Black Hole,

"This is what happens when you eat too much Jennie O turkey!"

along with former host Carolyn Rhea (who was fired for being—ironically—too fat to host a weight loss show.)

According to the Live Feed, NBC will announce the new trainers (trainers, plural) next week. Apparently, there will be two new people joining as trainers to create a “twist” in the game (there’s a fresh new idea: a twist on “The Biggest Loser.” Yawn.)

Sorry, but Jillian and Bob are like Mickey and Minnie, Lucy and Ethel and Lindsay Lohan and her drugs…they need to be together. Good luck to anyone who dares try to win over this Biggest Loser crowd.

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