Well if the finale episode of the Bachelor didn’t make you feel physically ill, with all of the “I’ve fallen for this guys” and “I am ready to give Jake my whole hearts,” the After the Rose show, with Jake and his new fiancée slow-dancing and being serenaded by a 1990s has-been in a crushed velvet vest should have done it.

Let me back up…so Jake picks Vienna. Unless you were under a rock last night– or are male– you probably already know that. Last night’s episode evoked many “oh no, he did NOTs” from women across America when he slipped that giant, princess (how appropriate) cut ring onto Vienna Sausage’s finger. Bloggers had been warning us that Jake would pick Vienna for some time, but seeing him propose then call her “his baby” on the after show made it all too real.

We watched Jake let go of his perfect wife, Tenley, in honor of a girl whose only goal is to keep the cameras flashing around her as long as possible.Last night I really should have been on a heart monitor or something because I was DYING!

Maybe Jake sees something in Vienna that the rest of us do not (including his family, the girls she lived with, etc.) I do know that reality producers do some mean editing to portray people as they want them to be…maybe Vienna just got a bad dose of editing? Yah…I don’t think so either but you never know. Anyone with a side tattoo like hers has to be at least carrying the white trash gene.

I must say though…was anyone else surprised on how different Vienna Sausage looked on the After the Rose show? She has obviously lost some weight and (finally) did her roots. She looked so much better. Maybe there’s hope yet.

In other news, Ali was announced as the new Bachelorette! I loved Ali, with her quirky personality and Kate Bosworth and Jessica Simpson love-child looks. I think guys will be lining up to be on her show. But let’s not forget, Ali does have a hefty streak of cattiness in her personality, so that should make for some drama on the show. Can’t wait!!