Reality Overload: Survivor & Idol Go Back-to-Back Last Night

"Is that the Hidden Immunity Idol in your boxer shorts, there, Russell?"

Survivor and American Idol crammed themselves into a two-for-one, Wednesday night fun package. Two shows in one night (and I can actually watch them both without involving a TiVo)? Just throw in some nachos and I’m in heaven.

Unlike American Idol (which I’ll get to in a sec), this week’s Survivor was totally unpredictable and had so many twists and turns, by the tribal council part of the show, everybody was completely confused on what ‘the plan’ was for the vote-out. Apparently, we weren’t the only ones, as dipshit Tyson screwed up the plan as well, essentially cutting his own throat and sending himself home. Awesome!

The shenanigans started when the hidden immunity idol came into play. Whenever there’s a hidden immunity idol shenanigan taking place, there can only be one person behind it pulling the strings— Russell. The evil little leprechaun from Louisiana may not know a lot (such as how to refer to himself not using the third person i.e. “He’s dealing with Russell Hantz”), but the man sure does know how to play an immunity idol and mess with everyone’s mind!

Big Bad Boston Rob had his ego bruised big time when Russell figured out what Rob was thinking that Russell was thinking he was going to do. (Figure that one out? Yah, me neither. That gives you a pretty good idea of what happened on the show last night.)

Using his ‘Cajun Persuasion,’ Russell convinced Tyson (who’s basically as dumb as a brick anyway), that he was voting for Parvati. In turn Tyson wrote a different name than his alliance had planned for him. Then Russell gave the idol to Parvati, canceling her votes out and sending Tyson home. I don’t like Russell, but I sure like how he plays on people’s stupidity!

American Idol Shorts
"Don't I get another chance? I swear I had laryngitis!"

After that, we had a very unsurprising American Idol, where the bottom three consisted of Paige Miles (who?!), Tim “Cabbage Patch” Urban and Katie “Oh yeah, I always forget about her” Stevens. Once again, “The Kid” avoided elimination, sending Paige packin’. Yawn.

The only part of the episode that was any fun at all was the gag-inducing group-sing number, and only because it was just hilarious watching Crystal singing “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go!” Corny choreographed hair flips, flouncy dance steps and Wham! God, she hates her life now.

Miley Cyrus performed, wearing a shiny white dress that looked like a mermaid’s tail with some ho-rrendous Little Mermaid hair extensions to match. She dramatically screeched, grimaced and keeled over throughout the performance…it’s funny, I had that very same reaction while watching her performance.

No reality shows on tonight! I’m going to see The Runaways! Hopefully my love of Joan Jett will make me be able to contain my hate for Kristen Stewart.

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