When you are on the most popular show in America, people care what you do. They want to know your shoe size, your favorite holiday and what your neck tattoo says. (If only I could read Old English script, Andrew Garcia!)

Apparently, this holds true even after your season of American Idol ends. However, unless you are insanely successful in your post-Idol career, the only reason people care about you is if you get in trouble with the law or do something scandalous. Luckily for us, once the county fair and chili cook-off gigs dried up, these “Idol” graduates didn’t have much else to do other than break the law.

One thing to note here:  former American Idols truly have a knack at finding the weirdest  thing in the world to get arrested for, and then doing it.

Grab your house arrest ankle bracelets and your orange jumpsuits and let’s take a stroll down the [County Jail] Memory Lane! We’ll start with the most recent.

Trading Ballads for Bitch Slaps: March 29, 2010: Season Sixer Stephanie Edwards was known for her solid vocal skills and classy demeanor during Jordin Sparks’ season. She still maintains her lady-like qualities today— that is if you count beating the crap out of some other girl as lady-like. Officially, Edwards was arrested in Georgia for fighting in a public place. What does that mean? Basically Stephanie grabbed some other girl by her weave and scratched her face off with her Lee Press-on Nails! According to the police report, Steph had been getting harassing phone calls from the other woman (Girl, you better step off my man!) and finally had enough so she went to this girl’s house to take care of some business, Jerry Springer style. Apparently, the inevitable fight became so vicious, multiple policemen were required to tear the women apart. I just hope Jerry Springer was around to deliver his “final thought.”

Sorry, My Speedometer’s Broken…so is my Douche-o-Meter: March 23, 2010: Sanjaya Malakar was known for his ever-changing hair and goofy grin on Jordin Sparks’ season. He didn’t end up winning American Idol, but now wins for Biggest Douche Behind the Wheel for getting caught going 110 mph on the interstate near Seattle, Washington at 2:30 in the morning. Apparently Sanjaya inherited not only the road runner’s hair during Idol, but also his speedy qualities. He was slapped with a $411 ticket.

Is Smelling Good a Crime?

Feb 26, 2010:  Chekezie from Season 7 was best known before Feb 26 as the jolly, chubby airport security guard with a name that no one could pronounce. (I remember lots of celebrity mentors that season calling him “cheesy”, “Queasy,” etc.) That all changed on that day when he went into a Neiman Marcus store and tried to purchase some cologne. (Can’t a brother smell good without being harassed?) Problem was that he used a credit card that wasn’t his. After spewing a story about how it was all a misunderstanding, the cops hauled him off and charged him with felony identity theft.

But it Didn’t Fit in My Carry-on!

June 10, 2008: Security officials detained Vonzell Solomon of Season 6 at Southwest Florida International Airport when an unloaded gun, was found in her luggage at a security check-point. (Maybe Chikezie slipped it in there after stealing her wallet?!) To explain why she was packin’ heat, Baby V gave a statement that read, “I in no way intended to enter the plane with a firearm. I was rushing to make a scheduled flight and simply did not realize it was in my handbag until I went through security.” Dontcha hate when that happens?

April 29, 2007:  The (Super Long)  Sad Saga of Jessica Sierra

Season 4’s Jessica Sierra was arrested at a Tampa bar after throwing a glass at a fellow bar patron. During her booking, cocaine was found in her purse (“how did that get in there?”), causing her to be booked for not only assault for the glass-throwing, but also possession. To prove that she had learned her lesson, Jessica went to Celebrity Rehab on VH-1, participating in group therapy with a slew of has-been celebrities (including Family Manners alum-turned-porn star Jaime Foxworth.)

December 1, 2007: Guess ol’ Jess didn’t learn her lesson. Right after going to court for her first arrest,  Sierra was arrested again at a Tampa bar, this time for disorderly intoxication (misdemeanor), resisting arrest without violence (misdemeanor), and violation of her probation, according to Wikipedia.

In what always proves to work out well, Jessica offered a sexual favor to one of the arresting officers, and vomited in the police car. (“I must have eaten something bad, sorry.”) On January 7, 2008, after spending 39 days in jail without benefit of bond, she was sentenced to time served plus 12 months in rehab at the Pasadena Recovery Center, the same California rehab center where Celebrity Rehab was filmed, and three additional years of probation.

‘Member when Jessica Sierra  used to be compared to Carrie Underwood when they were both Top 10 finalist during Season 4? Both were cute blond girls with a country sound, and some people even said that Jessica would be the one to go on to success due to her likability. Yah, so, those people were wrong. Carrie Underwood has gone on to sell a gazillon records and tour the world, while Jessica has just had a tour of the state of California’s prison system. Oh yah, don’t forget about Jessica’s porn tape too..I’d watch it but I’m too afraid it would scald my eyes.