This Week on Idol: Who Gets the Hometown Parades…and Who’s Just Going Home…

Which of these contestants went home this week? I'll give you a hint, he wears an XXXXXXL shirt.

Another week of Idol has come and gone, leaving us less than two weeks (!) until the finale (which I will hopefully be attending, fingers crossed!) This week’s theme of “Songs from the Movies” turned out to be as big of a snooze fest as Season’s 7 Andrew Lloyd Weber night catastrophe.

To boot, them brought back Jaime Foxx as the mentor. While he did a good job last year tutoring the Idols, it seemed like he had nothing new to add since last year and relied on his creepy and uncomfortable tactics from last year (staring into the male contestant’s eyes and asking them to seduce him, for example.) Isn’t there anyone new in the hopper that Idol could have wheeled out for Movie Night? Why keep recycling people?

In the end, we ended up saying goodbye to Big Mike, with them wheeling the baby out one last time before he left.

Since Tuesday and Wednesday’s shows were so lackluster that I can’t even make fun of them properly, I composed a short list of things I found funny about this week’s American Idol episodes.

  • "What the FUCK are you wearing, boyfriend?!"

    Ok…I have to start this off with the elephant in the closet. Is no one else going to acknowledge Crystal Bowersox’s boyfriend’s American Flag M.C. Hammer pants? Never mind that the last time those pants appeared in public was when Rex Kwon Do wore them in Napoleon Dynamite, but what the fuck is a 20-something, good-looking guy doing wearing them?! I said before that this guy seems way too normal for the eccentric Crystal, but maybe I was wrong! (Wanna get your very own pair of American flag pants? Check out this link, just in time for 4th of July!!)

  • american idol
    "Does it make you uncomfortable when I touch my chest to your chest, Lee?"

    The fact that Crystal and Lee chose “Falling Slowly” to do their duet to. (Was anyone else feeling slightly awkward when they were singing? It kind of felt like it was a brother and sister serenading each other with a love song….like if Donny and Marie were singing “I’ll Always Love You” to each other or something.) Besides that awkward factor, it’s ironic that they chose that song, because only a year ago, Kris Allen had arguably his best night when he sang it. Obviously, the Idol producers thought that it was OK to recycle it, since no one remembers who Kris Allen is anyway.

  • Jaime Foxx’s lame-ass T-shirt idea. Um..who made you God, Jaime? Sure, you won an Oscar, etc., but that doesn’t give you permission to be the almighty judge and T-shirt giver. Big Mike should have put on that XXXXXL “Contestant” T-shirt you brought and then crushed you between his pecks.
  • Though Ellen had one of the best responses to a song this season (stating “Yes I have” when Mike and Casey sang “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?”) the reaction in the studio was priceless. For that split second after she said it, everybody looked around at each other as if to say “Is it OK to laugh?” or “Is she allowed to say that she’s a lesbian on TV.” I think people are hysterical.
  • The fact that Kara was dressed like Sarah Palin on Tuesday night, and looked hotter like that than she did in those naked magazine pictures she took.
  • My favorite part of the night was watching this, over and over on my TiVo. Scroll to about the 2:54 mark and watch the blonde chick behind Simon totally lose it and go ape shit with excitement. It will make you LOL. A lot.
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