Guess what, fellow reality show smut lovers?! Jake and Vienna were forced to be reunited after their nasty breakup last week!
ABC execs got the brilliant idea to bring the nitwit couple together again for a “reunion special” set to air on July 5! Thank you God, for this gift!
According to multiple stories posted on RadarOnline, Vienna painted a picture of a obsessive and controlling Jake, someone who refused to have pre-marital sex with her (the horrors) and only wanted to be famous.
According to Jake, Vienna was jealous of the television offers that were coming his way, and she was slutting around Hollywood with some other guy.
According to The Ashley, they’re both nuts!
That’s not the best part though: the RadarOnline article claims that during the reunion show, Jake got so mad at Vienna Sausage, he made a fist like he was about to punch her!
Says the article:
After a nasty break up, with each claiming to have dumped the other, Jake and Vienna were disastrously reunited by ABC last week for a taped segment that ended prematurely when Jake made a fist and Vienna put her head in her lap and couldn’t stop crying – as RadarOnline.com was first to report.
A member of Team Jake said: “Jake stayed very calm throughout the whole show. Vienna, on the other hand, continued to interrupt him every time he spoke. To the point where Chris (the host), had to tell her, ‘Let him finish, let him finish.’”
But a member of Team Vienna, who was also an eyewitness, told RadarOnline.com: “He was angry throughout the interview and kept telling her to shut up. At one point he actually said shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Three times in a row.
“Vienna said, ‘Jake we are just talking. Please stop speaking to me like you’re my father. Jake responded,
‘If I was your father you wouldn’t act like this.’”
Oooh, burn! (Is that quote kinda creepy to anyone else though?)
The segment had to be cut short after the Sausage collapsed into tears and wouldn’t stop crying (um, drama queen, much?)
It’s also been learned from the article that Famewhore Jake will appear on The Bachelor Pad, (otherwise known as “The Greatest Show to Ever Grace Television.”) In fact, he’s currently filming the show. (Hoping that the viewing audience will be spared any more glimpses of Jake in his tighty whities during this show.)
Oh yah, Vienna Sausage is also claiming that Jake never gave her any…um, sausage. According to the article:
Vienna tells the new issue of Star magazine that Jake avoided sex with her religiously, offering a litany of excuses, including that premarital sex was a sin. She offers details on her six months of non-intimacy and frustration and says Jake hid his true ambition – to be an actor. As RadarOnline.com reported on Wednesday, Vienna told a close friend that it wasn’t Jake’s religious beliefs that caused a lack of intimacy– it was his lack of interest in women.
“He just wasn’t ever physical with her,” the source added. “Vienna told me, ‘I don’t think Jake is into girls.”
Wow, good one, Vienna. Resorting to the third-grade comeback of “Oh yeah? Well you’re GAY!”
I don’t think Jake’s gay. I think he’s just dorky and the fact that he didn’t want to sleep with a herpes-infected famewhore shouldn’t be held against him. God knows having sex with that chick is a one-way ticket to Herpes Land.
Cant…wait…until…July 5. Anyone else?!