Jake Doesn’t Want Vienna….And Neither Does Playboy!

"I could get naked!" "Um...no, that's OK."

Delusional Vienna Sausage is telling people (as well as Star Magazine) that she will pose for Playboy sometime this year, in an effort to make Jake see “what he’s missing.” (Um…a lifetime of unhappiness? A freakishly bad case of gonorrhea?)

One problem: Playboy never asked her to.

Vienna reportedly told Star in the July 12 issue (via Radar Online), “I am going to be on the cover of Playboy later this year, ‘The Bachelor’ didn’t pay me a dime, and I ran through my savings living with Jake… I need the money. And I want to do something fun and happy for myself!”

"OMG...I told you guys that bitch was crazy!"

But what about all the poor, innocent people who will not be having fun when they see those photos and their eyes start to burn?!

In response to Vienna’s claim, the magazine confirms what we Bachelor viewers knew all along: that bitch is crazy!

A rep for Playboy told US Weekly that, “We are not in negotiations with her and have not made her an offer.”

So does this mean that a naked Vienna is going to start streaking through the Playboy offices in hopes that she will accidentally come across a photo shoot and somehow manage to sneak into the background of it?

skanky photos
Um...er.....ugh...no words are coming to describe this.

If Playboy was delusional enough to actually want naked photos of Vienna in its magazine, it should just go to the local beach bar and grill: it seems that Vienna is always running around topless (or, in the case of this  2009 Spring Break trip to the Bahamas, putting her face in strange men’s crotches for a group of strangers.)

Click here to see TMZ’s photos from her escapades in the Caribbean only a few months before she tried to act like a classy lady who was worthy of flying on “The Wings of Love.”

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