Ok. Now I’ve seen everything.

Picture it. You somehow managed get past auditions, producers, and call-backs and have wormed your way onto a reality show. (Let’s use the Bachelor as an example.) Once you’re on the show, you are treated like a queen/king, living the good life, traveling to exotic places and generally getting around the velvet rope. People care who you are. There’s red carpets to walk, photo shoots to do and for once in your life, people actually want to hear what you have to say. Life is good.

Then the inevitable happens: the show ends (or you get the boot and don’t win) and it’s back to reality. No more fancy dinners (it’s Burger King for you buddy!) No more people planning your days. You are destined to fade into the abyss of past reality show contestants and are desperate to prolong your 15 minutes of fame.

What can you do? If you’re like Vienna, you can make up weird stories about being in Playboy, or you can sell your story about how your fellow contestants were “monsters.” Or, you can do the sensible thing….pay $1200 and let someone else do the work for you.

That’s right. There is a company that exists for the sole purpose of helping former reality stars cash in on their instant fame and keep it going. The site, www.rtvsites.com, promises to “further your 15 minutes of fame with a professionally designed website to showcase the REAL you.” All for the cheap and easy price of $1200.

Too much for you to spend? (You did, after all, probably have to quit your show to compete on whatever crappy show you were on.) Don’t worry, you can always select the “economy” package for $700.

Good luck with that, Vienna. For a domain name, I suggest www.realitytvdirtyfamewhore.com Oh wait, that may already be taken by Jake.