"OK, so is there ANY possible way I could sneak onto this season of Survivor? What's a tribal with me?!"

So many shows, so little time! All of The Ashley‘s favorite reality shows are starting back up, which means two things: my TiVo is going to get a work out and my friends won’t be seeing me too much anymore!

With all of the shows premiering so close together, it’s easy to get confused as to when your favorite crappy TV show is starting. Missing an episode could result in you being totally out of the crappy TV loop!

Not to worry, The Ashley has composed this super cool list of all of the premiere dates of all the best (i.e. worst) shows! These are the shows I am planning on following this season; however, I may be persuaded to add other shows to my viewing schedule. (Ahem, Jersey Shore. I just can’t bring myself to do it yet guys! Hopefully soon my television viewing standards will be even lower–is that even possible?– and I’ll add the Shore to my list.)

Here’s what’s coming up, and what you may have missed:

America’s Next Top Model: Premiered two weeks ago.

(Don’t worry, you haven’t missed much. Basically, the first episode is always just an introduction to the girls. First, they all come into the judging room screaming and crying at the sight of Tyra Banks (is it the forehead? The insanely over-inflated ego? Yeah, that scares me too.) Then, there was some drama (naturally) and half the girls got cut and went home crying. This week they move into the house. That’s as far as I’ve gotten. Will update soon, but next week is the best week ever– MAKEOVER WEEK! After that, the show is usually downhill!

The Amazing Race: Premieres Sunday, September 26

The Apprentice: Premieres this Thursday, September 16

For the first time EVER, The Ashley is planning to watch The Apprentice. Usually, Donald Trump‘s ego annoys the crap out of me (it can only be matched by Tyra Banks’ ego!) However, this season he actually did a real awesome thing and chose people who were laid off from their jobs to compete on the show. What a great concept! Plus, there will be a multitude of jokes that The Ashley can make regarding his hair. It’s a match made in heaven!

The Biggest Loser: Premieres Tuesday, September 21

This season is full of interesting contestants, such as Montina, a background singer for Beyonce who feels her weight is holding her back. There are also a lot of people who ate their way through an unhappy marriage and are now divorced. (Cue the tears!) This season should be a pretty emotional one (as if that’s anything new!) Still excited.

Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Cut Throat: Premieres Wednesday, October 6

YES! The best show EVER is coming back and  bringing the same gang of idiots back into my living room! Each week, these people, who are basically the most dramatic, over-hyped people you will ever meet this side of the Jersey Shore, compete against each other in weird challenges trying to prove they’re the best. It’s always the same freaking people so it doesn’t really matter if someone gets voted out because they’ll be back in, like, 5 minutes for the next season. I love it! To see which idiots will be competing this season, watch this super-cool video:

Survivor: You missed it, it started tonight!

In case you forgot to set your DVR, The Ashley will fill you in on what you missed. The concept is old versus young (hmm…didn’t you guys catch enough flack when you did that racially separated season a few years back? Now you have to deal with all the old people groups yelling that you’re being discriminating or something? CBS producers are brave!) Anyway, there’s some football coach on the show that’s super-cool, apparently, although I’ve never heard of him. (Not saying much though.) They voted out some goat farmer with creepy eyes and an annoying voice. No big loss.

The one show I still do not have a confirmed start date for? 16 & Pregnant Season 3. It is coming and has been taped but I’m still not able to find out when we can expect it to hit our TV screens. The Ashley will keep sleuthing though! In the meantime, if you would like to learn more about the girls from the next season of 16 & Pregnant, click here. (Just a note, this info is not 100% confirmed, so take it with a grain of salt!)

Enjoy! Happy viewing!

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