Oh, By the Way, The Winner of Bachelor Pad is…

I really just wanted an excuse to use this stupid photo of Dave!

…Dave and Natalie! (Datalie!)

Somehow the Herpes Twins managed to rip the $250,000 out of Tenley and Kiptyn‘s hands and take it home. I loved the twist at the end of the game.  If you’re both  self-centered and self-indulgent assholes (as are most of the people from this show are) and opt to take the money and not share it with your partner, you BOTH lose it!

Surprisingly, both Dave and Natalie chose to split the cash, so they were each awarded $125,000 (i.e. more hair extensions and a new boob job for Natalie, and 114 rounds of tequila shots in Cabo for David).

I hope they bring Bachelor Pad back next season to fill in between regular seasons. I loved it! Here’s my wish list of contestants for next time:

1) Wes (because I just love that song so much….”they saaay….love don’t come easy”… Plus it will be fun to see him steaming with hate for Gia once she dumps him for another modern-day Shakespeare.)

2) Trish (who, in 2004, crashed a date that the Bachelor had with another girl to famously drop off her hotel key for him…after she was eliminated, naturally. We need that kind of crazy on here!)

3) Vienna (’cause you know she’s always ready to slut it up in the hot tub!)

4) Jake (Just to see him get all mad when he sees Vienna and then watch his veins pop out on his forehead again.)

5) Elizabeth (That chick is loony, and they say mental illness gets worse as you age, so by next year she should be good and crazy!)

6) Crazy Ass Kasey (ready to “guard and protect” another girl’s heart.)

Let’s make this happen, ABC!

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