‘Idol’ Finally Got Their Crap Together: Meet Your New Judges!!

Smile! You're now on the biggest show in the country!

It’s official! The judges for American Idol Season 10 are signed, sealed and ready to deliver!

After months of rumors, the official word on the new judges came via a press conference that was streamed live at americanidol.com.

So who will be shattering dreams this season?

Randy Jackson managed to hold onto his seat at the judges table amidst the bloodbath firing of Kara and Ellen (although Ellen says she left on her own, who knows if that’s true. She’s funny as hell but on ‘Idol’ she was more awkward than a Teen Mom at a virgin convention!)

So Randy’s in….who will join him?

"Let me know when you need me to bring back the CRAZY to the show! Call me!"

Ready for this? Sitting next to Randy will be Jenny from the Block! (Um…that’s Jennifer Lopez for all you who aren’t into early-2000s hip-hop/pop music.) That’s right; J-Lo will take over the seat once crazied up by Paula Abdul as the only female on the panel.

Rounding out the happy trio will be Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler. (A funny thing to note: the rumor is that none of the other Aerosmith members had any idea Steven was considering doing ‘Idol.’ Apparently the band had been discussing going on tour this year or something, and his band mates found out that Steven obviously had other plans by hearing it on the Internet! Oopsy, I guess he must have forgotten to mention that to his band!)

In The Ashley’s opinion, this is an oddball, motley crew, but it just may work. You have a record-producer, a pop star and a legendary rock star. All of the bases of popular music are covered. However, two things are missing: 1) someone to cut down crappy contestants and make snide remarks and act utterly bored throughout most performances to replace Simon and 2) someone who is crazy. Last season, there were no real nutty people on the judge’s panel and it was boring as hell!

The show needs a ‘Paula,’ someone to make loony-bird remarks, give judgment on a performance that hasn’t even been performed yet and make gibberish comments that make no sense. Good God, they should have taken my suggestion and hired Lindsay Lohan!

There is some hope that Jennifer Lopez may bring a little crazy to the show. She entered today’s press conference wearing a sparkly jumpsuit (naturally) in an overly dramatic cloud of dry ice (as you do) and told people that she was excited to be there and that they should “just concentrate on the moment as best you can. Just live. It’s your moment.”


Also, fans of annoyingly awkward jokes should not worry, as Ryan Seacrest will stay on as host of the show. (Sorry, Brian Dunkelman, not this year.)

How will this new line-up translate to viewers? Well, according to the commenters of this story, they no-likey.

Some of the high-larious comments regarding the new judges:

Commenter “David” feels that they made a big mistake choosing Steven and J-Lo as judges. He also says he isn’t going to watch the show “no more.” Ouch.

Another commenter claimed that she “stopped watching a few years back because some of the winners were really bad (Fontainia is awful).” Hmm…Fontainia…I must have missed that season.

Don't worry, Ryan, you're still in...but that hairdo is OUT.....This is an actual (non-photo-shopped) photo of Ryan Seacrest from 2003.

“Billy of Austin” had an interesting comment to add to the heap. (I’ve copy-and-pasted it as it as it was written to preserve the yumminess of it!) : “Just what i thought the show has signed the death certifiate now we have 3 a racist, a druggie, and o yes p.r. judging the show.”

Now, my question to Billy is, which one is which? And what the hell is a “p.r.”? A Puerto Rican? Good thing we don’t like racists, right?

So J-Lo is the Puerto Rican, I’m assuming Steven Tyler’s the druggie, so does that make Randy the racist?!? That’s a new one!

And finally commenter “Barbara” had a better suggestion for an addition to the judging panel; “Why not pick me, a retired Mom, (retired from outside the home work) as the 4th judge. I’d love it and would do a great job.”

Well, Barbara, if you want it, come and get it. You’re going to have to brawl J-Lo for the job!

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