5 Things About We Learned About Fantasy Suites From Former ‘Bachelorette’ Andi Dorfman

"I liked the Fantasy Suite-- and that esss okay!"
“I liked the Fantasy Suite– and that esss okay!”

The “Fantasy Suite” week is always a highlight of any season of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. The lead gets to go to an exotic location with the love er, loves of his or her life, and spend some time away from the cameras. Basically, they’re allowed to hump in private without having a crew of producers, sound guys and camera operators staring at them.

On this week’s episode, ‘Bachelorette’ JoJo Fletcher entered the Fantasy Suites with three guys, but only spent the night with two. (She gave Chase McNary the boot before the two could log any time in the sack.) While we don’t know exactly what happened behind the closed doors of JoJo’s other two Fantasy Suite dates, former ‘Bachelorette’ Andi Dorfman gave us some insight into the Fantasy Suites and discussed the sexist double standard that ‘Bachelorettes’ face, in an article recently published in The Hollywood Reporter.

Andi went to the Fantasy Suites twice– during her own season of ‘The Bachelorette’ and when she was a contestant on The Bachelor. Her night with Juan Pablo Galavis was an epic disaster. (But “es okay!”)

In the article (which is a great read, by the way), Andi taught us a few things we didn’t know about the Fantasy Suites:

The Bachelor/ette doesn’t actually spend three nights in a row in the Fantasy Suites.

Although it’s more fun to picture the lead getting up in the morning, leaving the bed of one suitor and jumping into bed with another, that’s not exactly how it goes, according to Andi.

“What people likely don’t realize is that the Fantasy Suites are stretched out over a two-week timespan,” she wrote. “It does come in one quick episode, but this isn’t back-to-back like viewers see.”

"Aww, man, I'm gonna pay for this aren't I?"
“Aww, man, I’m gonna pay for this aren’t I?”

The gals have a much harder time afterward than the guys.

Andi discussed the “slut-shaming” that she, JoJo and fellow ‘Bachelorette’ Kaitlyn Bristowe faced after deciding to have sex in the Fantasy Suite. She wrote that, while the girls face harsh criticism from the show’s fans, critics and even the media for sleeping with a guy, the ‘Bachelor’ leads rarely do.

“The fact that we accept these actions from a Bachelor but not a Bachelorette is sexism at its finest,” she wrote. “The male lead is never called a manwhore. But when a woman who is in the same exact situation does it, she gets labeled a slut and it’s all of a sudden newsworthy…we as a society will go so far as to call a woman a slut for having sex with two men that she’s been dating. Two men whose families she’s met, who have professed their love to her and two men she has feelings for. And, somehow, having sex with them becomes grounds to call her a slut.”

Nearly everyone who goes into the Fantasy Suites gets it on.

While this news isn’t exactly shocking, Andi did confirm what we all basically knew.

“Almost every Bachelor has sex with everyone he goes into the Fantasy Suites with,” she wrote. “Obviously there are some exceptions, but regardless, you never hear anything of it.

“Most of the time there’s intimacy involved. But it’s not just physical, it’s emotional as well. The experience is a kind of unveiling of the fantasy, in an ironic way…it’s important because of the intimacy factor. Intimacy is a normal part of any relationship, whether it’s on television or not. On ‘The Bachelor’ and ‘The Bachelorette,’ you are having a relationship — even though it’s short and on camera — and with that comes many things, including intimacy.”

The former Bachelorettes are closer than the former Bachelors are.

Andi writes that only women who have been in the situation themselves can truly understand what current ‘Bachelorette’ JoJo is going through.

“The former Bachelorettes, we’re all pretty close,” she wrote. “We have this bond where we’ve experienced something that no one else has — and it’s interesting that you don’t see that as much with the Bachelors. There’s this sort of camaraderie with the women, and that does show that we’re strong. That says something about women and banding together.”

A lot of times, a Bachelor/ette just can’t win.

You’ll get vilified for being open and honest, but if you’re not, you can get labeled as fake,” Andi wrote. “So sometimes it’s not a win-win to speak out.”

(Photos: ABC)


  1. She is quite the whiner, the level of self-entitlement is amazing, nobody owes her anything. Both men and women get criticized for being on this silly show, just in different ways, whether it’s calling Juan Pablo a ‘Pig’ and a ‘Douche’ or Kaitlyn & Andi ‘Sluts’ & ‘Whores’… Guess what? All three of them are morons selling out so who cares about specific name calling.

  2. It’s a shame that when mem have sex no one seems to think anything about it but when a woman has sex she’s called bad names. As the saying goes “it takes two to tango” and its a shame to put women down for doing the same thing men do all the time. Men need to start using the brain in their heads instead of the one behind their their pants zipper!

  3. It was really messed up when Nick revealed they had sex. He obviously did it to hurt her because she rejected him. If you can’t handle rejection with class don’t go on a show where you have a 24:1 chance of getting rejected. I agree with Andi, she and Kaitlyn were slut shamed and it was brutal and pretty appalling in this day and age.

    1. How is it appalling in this day and age? What world do you live in? Despite what everyone wants to think, in general, men still rule our society. I’m pretty sure the internet has made that clear enough. All the progress that women think has been made about their place in society gets torn to shreds even when something as simple as a bachelorette having sex with 2 guys happens. The insults and hate immediately start flying all over the place on the internet. People thought society was changing, but as it turns out, people were just keeping their opinions quiet. Now that we have a way to share our opinions anonymously, we see that nothing has really changed all that much.

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