It’s time once again to see all the fun that having multiple life partners can bring! Yes, kids, it’s time for another episode of Sister Wives. Yet again, TLC has managed to stretch about an hour of new footage into a two-hour episode (Counting On-style), which means we’ll have plenty of old, played-out footage mixed in with the new stuff.
Anyway, we pick up where we left off last week. As you may recall, Mariah shocked all of the parents when she announced that she, like her father Kody, likes the ladies.
While the parents are shocked, they are doing their best to be supportive of Mariah (and her overdrawn eyebrows). Everyone has thoughtful comments and then Kody comes in with, “Did you have a lot of crushes on girls though? A lot?” followed by a few other semi-insensitive remarks.
Janelle just shoots her husband a look, and you can tell she’s mentally trying to crunch the numbers and figure out how much it would cost to leave this nitwit and move out of the Brown family’s Cul de Sac of Broken Dreams.
Mariah tells us that Robyn is the first person she ever met that said it was okay to be gay. (Who would have thought that Robyn would be the most progressive of the Brown bunch!?) Mariah says that, although none of her other parents ever said anything bad about gay people, it was drilled into her at church that being gay was a horrible thing.
“This is unexpected. I did not see this coming,” Meri tells us. “It kind of surprises me that she’s known for so long and hasn’t said anything.”
Kody tells Mariah he accepts her no matter what, and actually manages to keep his bumbling Barney-Fife-like comments to a minimum throughout the rest of the scene. You can tell that he really does love Mariah, and that’s refreshing. (Of course, Mariah has always been a favorite of his. Ol’ Meri made sure of that! It would be nice to see Kody throw a random daughter—say Savannah or one of the other Middle Forgotten Ones—a hug and a nice word every once in a while. Just sayin’…)
Anyway, all of the adults are being supportive of Meri, and some of the moms are even congratulating her for finding herself. Mariah’s biological mom Meri stays pretty quiet during the whole scene.
After the family meeting breaks up, Meri heads back to her house to stare at her empty rooms and wet bar and contemplate what is going on with Mariah. Of course, any mother receiving this news about her daughter would be surprised, and Meri is to say the least. However, she is less surprised about Mariah’s sexual orientation than she is that her daughter kept it from her for so long.
“I thought I knew my daughter,” she says. “It makes me feel bad that I didn’t see it, that I didn’t see the struggle she was going through all these years. And, it makes me feel like a really bad mom.”
Well, the fact that Mariah cringes whenever you go near her doesn’t really make for an open line of communication, Mer. Also, if Meri were to count the number of times she says “me” or “I” in a conversation in which she is supposed to be talking about someone else, it might be rather eye-opening for her.
Meri decides she wants to talk to Kody about Mariah. Since being alone in a room with Kody makes Meri break out in hives, she decides to invite Robyn over too.
“Kody and I don’t really understand each other so I want Robyn there,” Meri says.
Meri tells Kody and Robyn that she doesn’t understand how they were immediately so happy for Mariah, and that she is struggling to accept her daughter’s news.
“We aren’t happy that Mariah is gay,” Kody says. “We are happy that she knows herself. More than anything I’m happy that she was born into my family because, guess what? She’s safe with me.”
While Kody always tends to make things about him, he does have a point. Mariah could have been born into the Duggar family!
Meri is having an understandably hard time accepting that Mariah’s life path will be different than she had expected. Meri seems to have no idea how lesbians are able to have children, or even that they are able to legally get married now. Can someone help Meri? .
Meri apparently thinks that, now that Mariah has come out, she’s going to want to host big ol’ lesbian soirees at her wet bar or something. Robyn is trying her best to get Meri to see that Mariah is still Mariah (unfortunate as that is), and that she will still be able to get married, have a family and live a great life.
Robyn says she knows Meri will come around once she gets over the shock of it.
“Mariah is really happy and excited,” Robyn tells Meri. Hearing that Mariah has confided in Robyn instead of her seems to make the knife go into Meri’s heart a little farther.
“I want to know that,” Meri says. “And I don’t want to know it through you!”
Can we just take a moment to give props to Robyn here? She has really come through for Mariah, and is great at explaining things to Meri in attempt to make her become more open-minded.
Later, the whole family decides to take a trip to Utah to get to know Mykelti’s fiancé Tony better. In order to do so, they insist that Tony cook for the whole group, and if his food doesn’t make anyone vomit, he can have one of the Brown daughters.
The whole Brown clan is staying in one giant house. (It’s just like back when they were living the polyg dream years ago!)
Everyone is there: Logan and his girlfriend, newlyweds Maddie and Caleb, and of course, Mariah, who shows up wearing long denim shorts, a T-shirt, Converse tennis shoes and a backward baseball cap so that she can fulfill all of the lesbian clothing stereotypes all at once.
Everyone is making uncomfortable jokes about Maddie and Caleb humping in a yurt (and by “everyone” we mean Kody, of course). The newlyweds are given their own quarters so that they can get busy creating the next generation of Browns.
Even though Mariah told her mother to leave her the hell alone, Meri takes this as a sign that her daughter just wants to have a heart-to-heart with her. Meri spies Mariah sitting on a patio by herself, so she scurries on down there to corner Mariah and force her to talk to her. Mariah sees Meri coming toward her and you would have thought she had just spotted Bigfoot coming her way. She looks horrified.
Meri ignores her daughter’s uncomfortable body language and sits down and begins to talk to her about her being gay.
“I don’t want to say the wrong thing and be offensive but I just want to say what I feel,” Meri says.
Mariah doesn’t seem very interested in hearing what Meri has to say or what Meri feels, but Meri keeps going anyway. She wants to understand how Mariah came to the conclusion that she’s gay. Mariah tells Meri that it was a “personal process” and something that she doesn’t really want to talk about…even though Mariah’s been talking to Robyn about it all along.
Meri is trying to wrap her head around how Mariah can still get married and have kids. Geez, can someone please get a pad and paper and draw a diagram to help Meri understand how babies are made for same-sex couples? This is getting embarrassing. Maybe Meri can ask Truly to explain it to her later or something.
Mariah is being a complete crap-goblin to her mother, as per usual. Her entitled and bratty attitude is running rampant in this scene. She says she is still mad at Meri for being catfished, but it’s obvious she hates her mom for so much more than that. Good Lord, Mariah, your mom played A/S/L? with one weird lady on the computer; it’s not like she burned down your dorm and destroyed your entire collection of flannel shirts. Come on!
“You can ask questions and I will let you know whether or not I want to answer them,” Mariah tells her mom.
Meri has a lot of questions that are normal and justified to ask of her daughter, given what she has just been told. She wants to know if Mariah is still religious, which is a fair question. Up until last season, Mariah was all about church and was eagerly looking forward to becoming a sister wife. It’s understandable that Meri would want to know about that, but Mariah just rolls her eyes at the question.
Finally she tells Meri that she is no longer religious but that she is “spiritual.” Meri accepts the answer and is being generally supportive of Mariah. When Meri dares to bring up the fact that Mariah constantly treats her like a flaming bag of used tampons, Mariah gets all defensive, and acts like her behavior toward her mother is completely justified. Mariah does not want to talk about her strained relationship with Meri so she throws a fit.
“You’re doing this thing again where you are pushing me,” Mariah says. “I just really need you to stop pushing me because I’ve been good here.”
When asked by the producers how her talk with Meri went, Mariah replied, “I could be doing better things with my time.”
You mean like studying at the pricey private college your mother is paying for? Um…yeah…
Later we get to see Meri and Robyn talking about Mariah. Robyn tries to be the Yoda of Gay Daughters and advises Meri to let Mariah come to her and to not push her. While that’s good advice, this has been going on for nearly a year. Clearly Mariah is not going to come to Meri to talk about their relationship. Meri is desperately trying to salvage her relationship with her only child, who just happens to be a spoiled, bitter brat.
Back at the cabin, future bride Mykelti asks the four wives to provide her with something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue for her to wear at her wedding. It’s a nice gesture to include all four moms in her big day. Christine tells us that she is starting to like Mykelti’s fiancé Tony, even though she used to think he was kind of shifty.
That night, all of the older kids go out for drinks. Mariah, Mykelti, Tony, Maddie, Caleb, Aspyn, Logan and his girlfriend Michelle are all chatting, and everyone is trying to ignore the elephant in the room, which is that Mariah just came out to the parents. Finally Maddie can hold it in no more and asks Mariah how the parents took the news of her being gay.
Mariah says that the parents took it well, and that she now feels like a weight has been lifted off of her shoulders, since everyone knows her secret. All of Mariah’s siblings are supportive of her, and most of them seemed to know that Mariah was gay even before Mariah herself knew.
After they’ve run that subject into the ground, the gang tries to put the pressure on Logan and Michelle to get married. The couple deflect the questions, and tell us that they are both very focused on school and their careers right now, and aren’t trying to get hitched at 22.
At the end of the episode, the parents all gather on a couch to wax poetic about what the next few years bring for them. They say more marriages and grandbabies, of course, and Meri just sits there with a confused look on her face. OK, seriously, can someone help explain the baby-making process to Meri?! This is getting embarrassing!
To read our recap of the previous episode of ‘Sister Wives,’ click here!