On this week’s episode of 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?, Larissa and Colt inject some more dysfunction into their relationship, Elizabeth and Andrei settle into yet another funded-by-Chuck home, Nicole shows us that she likely failed the word association section of her SATs, Paola patches things up with Russ‘ mom, Ashley leaves Jay at home without any supervision and Pedro says goodbye to The Wife Chantel and travels to The Home Dominican Republic.
First we check in with Larissa and Colt who are on a date night without Colt’s mom. With Larissa’s court case having been dismissed, Colt(ee) decides to celebrate their good fortune at a restaurant that doesn’t serve its condiments in plastic packets.
The (moderately) happy couple decide to talk about their relationship in order to move forward and, you know, maybe not have to get the cops involved again.
Larissa and Colt decide to literally reintroduce themselves to each other over dinner and naturally, Larissa demands that Colt also kiss her hand. (And…yes, this was just as creepy as it sounds.)
Colt goes on to ask Larissa how she feels about his mother and Larissa says she’s not out “to destroy Debbie” but that she wants her to mind her own business and maybe enjoy a few solo margarita nights here and there. For the sake of not getting a bread basket thrown at his head, Colt agrees, though he reminds Larissa that she still has to respect Debbie.
Because Colt’s insistence to talk about his mom wasn’t bad enough, Larissa pulls a “hold my beer” moment and tells Colt that he needs to be willing to share his money with her because she wants a $3,000 Chanel bag.
“I just want to money. Money, money, money, money,” she tells him.
And, I mean, who doesn’t want “to money.” Am I right?
Larissa says that she gets upset when she “ask money for buy stuff” Colt refuses to give it to her. Colt says he will “move heaven and earth” to make Larissa happy…but he ain’t moving $3,000 out of his bank account to give to her to buy a purse…that we all know she will eventually use to hit him with.
Colt says they need to come up with a monthly allowance, which Larissa suggests he set at $1,000. Colt turns down that suggestion, so Larissa counters with $300. (We finally found something Larissa is worse at than being a wife: negotiating!)
Colt ultimately sets the budget at $200 and because Larissa is as bad at math, she is satisfied. She resigns herself to trolling for knockoff Chanel bags at the Vegas swapmeet, at least for the near future.
Next we check in with Elizabeth and Andrei who, as you may recall, have decided to move out of the house being paid for by Elizabeth’s dad, despite only having one income and a baby on the way. Elizabeth visits her sister Jenn to vent about the disaster she’s gotten herself into. After hearing Elizabeth’s side of the story, Jenn declares that she’s #TeamDad and tells Elizabeth that Andrei is being irrational for wanting to give up his free lodging situation just to prove a point.
Jenn (who happens to be wearing an extremely appropriate shirt that reads “Over It”) reminds Elizabeth that moving into a new place requires a hefty deposit, which neither she nor her hot-headed husband have. Jenn asks if Elizabeth is going to go to dear old dad for some financial assistance (yet again) and Elizabeth says it’s her only option, but she can’t let Andrei know about it.
What could go wrong?!
And speaking of things likely to go wrong… next we check in with Nicole who is getting hyped about her upcoming trip to Grenada with Azan. Nicole meets up with her friend Jessica for drinks because she says unlike her family, Jessica is supportive of her Azan-wrangling aspirations. (Something tells me ol’ Jessica has aspirations of her own, one of which is getting her mug on a reality TV show.)
Nicole fills Jessica in on the wedding that wasn’t and even Jessica the optimist can see the red flags. She eventually asks Nicole about Azan talking to other girls during he and Nicole’s relationship, which Nicole is then forced to elaborate on.
After being treated to the clip featuring Azan’s incriminating voicemail, Nicole tells Jessica that she and Azan have moved past the incident. Jessica asks Nicole if there was any infidelity that occurred and we soon realize that Nicole doesn’t fully understand what that means, as she says it wasn’t infidelity, it was cheating…
Over in Georgia, Pedro is packing for his trip. Chantel asks Pedro when he plans to come home from the Dominican Republic and Pedro basically tells her his trip is open-ended. Chantel is convinced that Pedro’s family wants him to send enough harvested American dollars for them to open up their business in the Dominican Republic and then have him divorce Chantel and come back home.
The two of them argue about whose family talks the most trash and eventually Chantel gets frustrated and leaves the room. (Pedro’s cheeks probably clench up any time a member of The Family Chantel leaves the room angry, as he’s afraid they’ll return with Shocky, their trusty taser gun!)
Pedro says Chantel should be sweet to him because he’s about to go on vacation. Chantel obviously disagrees.
Meanwhile, over in Oklahoma, it’s the day after Paola’s drizzle of a shower so Russ stops by his parents’ house (at the request of Paola) to remind them that Paola thinks they need to step up their welcome wagon game. Patty is surprised to hear this news, especially considering the fact that she threw Paola a baby shower less than 24 hours prior that Paola herself was almost too busy to attend.
Russ tells his parents that Paola has felt judged since first meeting his family, mainly for her choice in clothing (or lack there of). Russ’ dad Ron admits he thinks Paolo and Russ were too quick to tie the knot and that both he and Patty have questioned the relationship at times. Russ thinks Paola needs an opportunity to discuss her feelings with his parents and Patty and Ron agree.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth is still going along with Andrei’s grand idea to move out of the free home in which they’ve been living. With Andrei still unemployed, Elizabeth doesn’t know how she can afford to foot the bill for this spiteful move, so of course, she turns to Chuck for financial assistance.
“Honestly, we don’t feel comfortable anymore and we just feel like you’re holding it over our head,” she tells Chuck—-the person she’s expecting to mooch off of once again.
Chuck says Andrei failed to do work on the house like he had agreed to, leaving Chuck with an empty, unfinished home (and at this rate, a soon-to-be empty wallet, too).
Elizabeth admits that it was nice of Chuck to “help out” (um?), but she maintains that living in a house that Chuck doesn’t own, but merely pays for, is the better option. Elizabeth tells Chuck that she and Andrei have found an apartment and they have to have his help, but Andrei can’t find out the identity of this mysterious life-sponsor.
“If you don’t have enough money to move out of the place you’re living for free, then how are you going to pay the rent?” Chuck asks, while reminding Elizabeth that “hope doesn’t pay the rent.”
Luckily for Elizabeth, Chuck does, and he agrees to be the silent backer of this horrible plan.
Back at the house, Andrei and Elizabeth load up their (or possibly Chuck’s) truck and hit the road. Andrei reminds Elizabeth that they’re leaving this cushy living situation because of Chuck’s selfishness. (Um?) Meanwhile, Andrei still thinks the move is happening because of the extra work Elizabeth has put in lately. She’s certainly been working her father, so Andrei’s technically not wrong.
Next we check in with Ashley and Jay, who are still fighting constantly. They decide to hit the gym (which is, of course, better than hitting each other…you hear that, Larissa and Colt?)
While getting their fitness on (to look good for whatever loser they end up dating after this catastrophe of a marriage blows up…which we all know is coming), Ashley tells Jay she’s planning to go to New York City with some friends. Jay doesn’t think it’s fair that Ashley gets to go on trips, while his biggest outings is going to and from the barber shop.
Jay asks if this means he gets to take a guys trip, but Ashley quickly shoots down that idea.
“That s**t isn’t happening, sorry,” she tells him, explaining that she knows how to act right and he doesn’t. Jay says if Ashley is going to continue doing things to spite him—and not filing the paperwork he needs to be eligible for work—she might as well just send him back to Jamaica.
Over in Las Vegas, Larissa decides that since Colt won’t throw down the cash to get her a Chanel bag, she’s going to explore another outlet in which to spend his money, so the two of them head to a plastic surgeon’s office. Larissa says she wants to look like a Hollywood star and in order to do so, she needs to plump her lips.
Larissa doesn’t know if lip injections are within her $200 monthly budget (spoiler alert: they’re not), but she says Colt should pay for them regardless, especially if he wants to continue having sex with her. Nothing like some good old fashioned blackmail to put the spark back into your failing marriage!
Colt tells Larissa she’s perfect the way she is and that he loves her, so naturally she tries to convince him to go along with her plan by promising him more blow jobs. (And…yes, this scene was as awkward to watch as it sounds…)
Despite this incentive, Colt is still hesitant, though he ultimately agrees to fork over the $475 for the procedure.
Larissa says Colt should be happy to do this for her because he “has a hungry sexual drive” and her enhanced lips will make her feel sexier. Colt tells Larissa she sounds like a prostitute, which Larissa fails to recognize is an insult.
“The wife are the most expensive prostitutes ever, darling,” she tells him.
I think that’s nice… Perhaps Mother Debbie can crochet that onto a pillow for the happy couple’s bedroom?
Larissa gets her lip injections and is pleased with the results (as is Colt) …so much in fact, that she’s already planning for fillers and Botox in the future.
Back in Oklahoma, Paola arrives at Russ’ parents’ house to talk with Patty. Paola says coming to America was difficult because of the different ways in which people speak, dress and opt not to paint their naked bodies.
Paola also tells Patty that she felt like the family assumed she was only with Russ to get a Green Card, which Patty admits did (or possibly still does) cross their minds. Patty thinks that because Paola is getting to know the family more, moving back to Oklahoma would allow their relationship to continue growing, but Paola (still unaware of Russ’ job offer) isn’t convinced. Despite this, Patty and Paola give themselves some kudos for finally having a breakthrough and end their conversation with a hug.
Meanwhile, Andrei and Elizabeth have settled into their new place and Andrei says he’s glad to no longer be indebted to Chuck. (HA!) To help pay for this mysteriously already-being-paid-for apartment, Andrei has been doing random trucking jobs, though nothing has been consistent so he’s looking for a more permanent opportunity.
Dressed in his interview best—- shorts and a polo shirt—- Andrei interviews with a trucking company, but unfortunately is told that he doesn’t have enough experience at the moment to be a full-time driver. On top of that, the employer’s part-time on-call position is offering Andrei half of what he expected, so he tells the recruiter that he needs to talk things over with his wife.
Later, Elizabeth and Andrei hit up a thrift store to shop for baby products, where Andrei doesn’t hide the fact that he’s unhappy to to have to buy used items, such as shoes that have been previously filled with “dirty feet,” according to him. Elizabeth says Andrei needs to realize they aren’t rolling in cash (other than her father’s) and they have to live within
their Chuck’s means.
Elizabeth asks Andrei how his interview went and he tells her he doesn’t want to do trucking anymore. Elizabeth starts to panic and says Andrei isn’t being very realistic. Andrei accuses Elizabeth of not being supportive of his decision to sit at home so he tries to relieve her worries by sharing his plan to be a handyman.
Elizabeth thinks this career route is a bad move considering
they Chuck already paid for Andrei to go to trucking school.
Meanwhile, it’s the morning of Pedro’s flight to the Dominican Republic and Chantel is driving him to the airport in the rain. During the drive, Chantel tells Pedro she loves him, and apologizes to him for their argument the previous day. Pedro offers little feedback, other than telling Chantel he doesn’t understand her side of things and reassuring her that she won’t be alone while he’s gone because she has the cat to hang out with.
(Has Pedro been spending time with Mother Debbie or something?)
After a cold goodbye, Pedro hops out of the car and heads inside.
We check back in with Ashley and her friends, who have just arrived in New York City. Ashley gives herself a black eye with a champagne cork gone awry (as you do) but they still hit the town to drink obnoxious cocktails and talk about how horrible Ashley’s husband/life.
Ashley tells her friends that Jay hasn’t been answering any of her texts, though she doesn’t think he’ll do anything stupid.
She also tells her friends that she actually spoke to the dating app girl that Jay “tried to become friends with” and reveals that the girl is a senior in high school.
Ashley passes around a photo of the girl to her friends and notes that the high school student is “much larger” in size (along with being 14 years younger) than her. Ashley tells her friends that she still has questions about what went down between her much-younger husband and his even younger side piece, so she decides the group should make a call to the high school student to find out. (Hopefully the girl isn’t out shopping for a prom dress or something.)
Ashley dials the phone number but it goes to voicemail. Ashley leaves a message asking the girl to call her back and then returns to venting to her friends about her hot mess marriage.
We check back in with Pedro one last time before this episode ends. He’s just arrived in the Dominican Republic and is ecstatic to be back in the presence of people who don’t want to berate him and/or shock him with a taser. The Mother Pedro and The Sister Pedro welcome him with home before getting a drink and talking about The Wife/Family Chantel.
Pedro says since the big table-kicking, brother-biting fight, he and Chantel haven’t been getting along because Chantel continues to side with her family, whom Pedro’s mom says are bougie. Pedro says although he still loves Chantel, he doesn’t know if he can continue living with all of the arguing.
Pedro’s mom tells him he’s young and doesn’t have to be tied down if he doesn’t want to be. Pedro’s family assure him they’ll support whatever decision he makes as long as he’s happy… and as long as that decision is the one they want him to make.
That’s it for this episode!
To read The Ashley’s previous ’90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?’ recaps, click here!