Here we go again! Another adventure with the Welcome to Plathville crew and this week we have a special treat: buttery nipples!
Buckle up… just in case Kim’s death stare tries to knock you over.
This episodes kicks off with the youngest Plath rebels discussing the big meeting of Max and the parents. As you may remember from last week’s episode, Max broke up with Moriah, so we’re all pretty confused as to why he now needs to meet her parents, but according to Max, doing this will help him “understand” Moriah better. Seems as though this could have been helpful before Max awkwardly ended things with Moriah, but this is Plathville, so nothing makes much sense.
Micah, being a super loving and supportive bro, spends entirely too much time telling Moriah how nervous she should be and how the whole thing will basically be a huge s**t show.
Over at the Plath compound/house, Kim is leading the girls who still live at home in a ballet class. Mommy/dictator Kim explains that she studied ballet in college, because a real education is obviously fine for her, just not her children. She also goes on about providing her kids with a well-rounded education, despite what said-kids have to say about it.
At one point, Isaac pops into class, giving everyone a good laugh at the mere idea of a boy doing ballet. Just crazy talk!
Over at Olivia and Ethan’s, Olivia is still talking about the same damn thing she’s been talking about for the last four episodes: she needs distance from Ethan’s parents. We get it… we’re right there with ya, girl
Olivia and Ethan partake in a classic quarantine 2020 activity – a visit to the local liquor store – to (we assume) numb the constant frustration of being only 22 and married to someone you don’t seem to like very much. However, as much as we’ve seen these two struggle, this little outing seems to bring some enjoyment, especially for viewers who once again get to watch man-child Ethan discover the big bad world around him. After picking up some whisky and heading to the counter, Ethan discovers some sex on the beach and buttery nipple shots. Classic-Ethan blushing ensues and Olivia is yet again forced to explain to her adult husband what things are. Naturally, Ethan’s description is better: nipple shots before sex! Don’t tell Sweet Lydia.
Ethan tries some whisky for the first time and based on his reaction and straight up love for the stuff, someone may want to get him a pamphlet on alcohol poisoning.
The drinks bring out a silly playfulness we haven’t seen from the couple in a while. It’s refreshing, but we won’t get used to it because Olivia still needs DISTANCE.
Micah goes to visit Isaac and of course, that means Barry tags along to supervise – supervise what exactly, we aren’t sure, but Barry and his stalker vibes are ever present. The boys head out to a slimy green pond for some fishing and swimming. Barry is swimming is a white tank top, you know… for modesty.
It’s finally parent-meeting time so Moriah picks out her brightest crop top and she and Max load up in Max’s dad’s minivan. As they arrive at the snake pit of a family home, Kim greets Moriah with a good old Fundie side-hug and then goes in full-frontal when embracing Max. (#Scandalous) Kim shows off her loving personality when she declares there’s no way Moriah and Max are just friends because they are both good looking and apparently good looking people can’t be friends.
Sweet Lydia is straight up shook to meet Max and his frat boy good looks and the little siblings seem to love him, too. Based on Barry’s reaction to Max, he’s either trying to date him or murder him. It’s honestly hard to tell with that guy.
Isaac invites Max to check out his flight simulator and Barry is quick to explain that “it’s not really a game, it’s a preparation tool,” because god forbid Isaac have a toy. Also, heads up, Kim and Barry: that flight simulator is absolutely a game and your 14-year-old son is absolutely NOT a pilot.
Max finds himself alone with the parents and it’s the most painfully awkward moment of the episode. Props to Max for using his drinking glass as a way to deflect conversing. Ultimately, Max is not only accepted by the family, but he actually likes them, too. This seems to have backfired. We don’t believe this encounter “helped him understand” Moriah more… if anything, he seems to think the Plaths are normal.
Olivia asks Ethan if he’s heard from the realtor yet and everyone (except the producers) is shocked to learn that he has heard and they didn’t get the house.
This news of course sets Olivia off and as much as we’re sick of hearing about her needing distance, ya gotta feel for her. Poor thing is not only disappointed, but her husband has the emotional depth of a tree stump, so she’s not exactly getting the support she needs.
As the episode wraps up, two big shockers are dropped: First, Olivia is crying at the kitchen counter (no shock there, that’s kind of her thing) and explaining to Ethan that the reason they need to move is because everything they do is reported to his parents. Basically, Olivia just wants to be able to go to the liquor store and not have everyone know about it. The shocking part? She seems to have once again forgetting that she’s on a damn TV show that filmed her at the liquor store. You played yourself, sis.
The second shocker? Ethan starts to talk as though he actually understands what his wife is saying. I mean, we aren’t ready to hand him a best husband award (or a celebratory shot of whisky) just yet, but maybe these two crazy kids actually have a chance. That or we’ll start next episode at the kitchen counter watching Olivia cry again.
Either way, we’re here for it. As long as we can stay awake and Barry doesn’t traumatize us too much with that smile.
To read The Ashley’s previous ‘Welcome to Plathville’ recap, click here!