Crank up the trusty U-Haul trucks– it’s time for another episode of Sister Wives, featuring not one, but two Brown family moves. 

(At this point is it even an episode of ‘Sister Wives’ if someone isn’t relocating?)

As you know, last week’s episode ended with Mykelti and Tony nearly driving into a tornado en route to their new home in North Carolina. This episode picks up in the middle of the cross-country trip from hell with Mykelti and Tony’s windshield being cracked by hail, ultimately forcing them to pull off the road and seek shelter with their three young children. 

While Mykelti and her family hunker down at a hotel, Christine reminds viewers that she and David are unable to make this storyline about them help Mykelti and Tony, as they’re currently miles ahead on the road with the couple’s moving truck. 

Eventually, Mykelti and Tony decide it’s safe for them to leave the hotel lobby, so they load up their kids and get back on the road. Later on, they meet up with Christine and David at a different hotel, where they all spend the night. The following morning, Christine and David take Tony’s truck– cracked windshield and all– for a coffee run, during which David is determined to find a tornado to chase after missing out on the one Mykelti and Tony battled. 

Next we head over to Meri’s bed and breakfast in Parowan where Meri is hosting a wine and painting night with a few of her friends, including her ever-present BFF Jenn. Before uncorking the bottles and breaking out the paintbrushes, producers ask Meri about Ron– the man she met while speed dating. Meri reveals that she and Ron “matched” during the event, but they’ve yet to reach out to one another. Meri doesn’t give a reason for this, so we can only assume it’s because she’s hoping to save the storyline for Season 21.   

When Meri’s friends arrive, they decide to collectively paint eggplants, as Meri (allegedly) recently learned that some people compare that particular vegetable to a particular part of the male anatomy. After laughing like a tween at the mention of explicit emojis, Meri cheekily tells her friends that she ate eggplant “one time” and “did not like [it].” 

BRB, gonna upchuck my lunch…

As the penis eggplant painting proceeds, Meri tells her friends that she hopes Ron will “call or text” sometime. 

Once Meri and her friends finish up their phallic fine-art, they take turns presenting their canvases, with Meri being the first to reveal her purple piece of work.   

It’s Meri’s friend Hilaree, though, that comes up with the best eggplant-inspired art, complete with a frighteningly accurate depiction of Kody– “skin headband” and all.

Next we head to Flagstaff, where Kody and Robyn– who were mulling over moving to another Mountain Mansion one whole episode ago– are now in packing mode, as they’ve “found their dream home” and have made an offer on it, despite the home initially being “too expensive.”

Robyn and Kody’s realtor Justin stops by to let them know that they’ve received an offer on their current Mountain Mansion, which Kody says they’ll need to sell in order to purchase Mountain Mansion: The Sequel. 

After reveling over the good news, Kody begins pushing Robyn to allow him to bring their giant dining room table to the new house, though Robyn argues it’s far too big and masculine– two things that cannot be said about the man who bought it. 

Robyn tells viewers that the new Mountain Mansion will be a “fresh start” for her family, while noting that it happens to be conveniently located near her adult daughters’ college and church. (Heaven forbid any of adult “tenders” stray too far from their mom and dad’s purple compound!)

Kody says the new house will also allow him to give Truely a place “that is sort of like her room.”

UM…? Does that mean Kody plans to shove the kid in some sort of large linen closet or something should she be court-ordered to visit Daddy Dearest and his Boo-Hooing Bride?

Robyn looks slightly annoyed at the mere mention of Truly.

As longtime fans of ‘Sister Wives’ know, the Brown family has moved many (MANY!) times in the 20 seasons they’ve been on TV. Fortunately, the producers aren’t letting this fact slip by and decide to ask some of Kody’s exes to weigh in on what– or rather who–motivated the majority of these moves. 

Janelle tells viewers that Kody “always felt like we needed to move,” often because he believed the grass was greener somewhere else. As for Meri, she blames Kody’s moving addiction on his “social” personality, because apparently, having four wives and 18 children to socialize with just wasn’t enough for Mr. Personality.

Back at the OG Mountain Mansion, Kody and Robyn rope Aurora into helping them move what appears to be the world’s heaviest outdoor table. (Luckily, Kody is wearing his trusty gloves, so this should be no problem for him!)

Kody goes on to tell viewers that the offer on the new Mountain Mansion has been accepted (SURPRISE!) so they’re now panic-packing all of Robyn’s dolls (and their sizable wardrobes), as well as the family’s assortment of weird ass artwork and purple decor. 

After realizing neither his pecks nor his six-pack abs will be enough to lift some of the heavy furniture, Kody agrees with Robyn’s suggestion to take a break and make a trip to the new home, now that it’s officially theirs. 

Before heading out, Kody and Robyn (once again) remind viewers how many painful experiences they had while they were living in their current home, including Kody’s harrowing battle with Covid, during which he bravely fought a temperature of 99 degrees.

Never forget…

Robyn, who once filmed herself crying on the floor of one of the Mountain Mansion bathrooms, also takes this opportunity to stress how depressed she was in the current house, due largely (if not entirely) to her dream of porch-sitting with Kody’s cornucopia of unhappy wives getting snuffed out.

Just when we think Kody and/or Robyn will finally admit that they should’ve reconciled with at least SOME of the Brown family before uprooting for the 473rd time, producers ask the happy couple if “it’s weird or different” not having the family helping them with this move. Kody and Robyn respond by staring at each other, awkwardly laughing and shrugging their shoulders. 

Christine and Meri tell viewers that they found out about Kody and Robyn’s move on social media. Meri claims she doesn’t interact with her ex-husband and former sister wife very much so she wouldn’t have expected them to tell her about the move. Christine says Kody and Robyn’s current house “is weird” so she doesn’t blame them for wanting to find a new place to fill with their fugly furniture and bad vibes.

Before the official reveal of the new Mountain Mansion, we check back in with Christine & Co., who are on Day 3 of the cross-country trek to North Carolina. As the group is nearing Kansas City, they’re hit with a “shredded” tire on the trailer hauling Mykelti’s car. We’re then forced to watch a clip of the Brown family moving from Utah to Las Vegas in 2011, during which they had not one, not two, but three flat/“shredded” tires.  

They eventually make it to Mykelti and Tony’s new house in Charlotte and begin unpacking. Later on, Janelle arrives to the house with Savanah, Maddie and Maddie’s kids. Janelle tells viewers that Mykelti is only a four-hour drive from the rest of the family and that she’s looking forward to having all of the Brown family grandkids living in her state. While Christine admits she’s envious of Janelle’s situation, she assures viewers she won’t be moving to North Carolina herself.

As Mykelti continues giving her family a home tour, Maddie casually reveals that she’s pregnant with her fourth baby and that her due date is the anniversary of Garrison’s death. When Mykelti asks Tony if hearing that Maddie and Caleb are having a fourth child makes him want to have a fourth as well, Tony says absolutely not, citing Kody’s failures as a father as a reason not to overextend oneself in the parenting department. 

Back in Flagstaff, it’s time for Kody, Robyn and The Tenders (both adult and minor) to head to the new Mountain Mansion, which Ari is especially happy about, as the OG Mountain Mansion was apparently just too small for her liking.  

UM.

Before arriving, Kody tells viewers that when Coyote Pass is eventually sold, the money will “really help” with the new Mountain Mansion, but as of now, it’s not even on the market, nor is it “ready to sell.” He then admits that selling Coyote Pass didn’t become a reality to him and Robyn until they realized how much they really wanted the new Mountain Mansion.

The Browns bust through the front door like a gang of failed polygamist Kool-Aid men, and soon Ari is squealing and Kody is practically drooling. Meanwhile Robyn is marveling over how much space she and Kody now have for grandkids. (We assume she means her American Girl doll collection, since none of her Tenders have spawned yet and none of the human offspring in the family who have kids will talk to them.)

Robyn insists that the home will be great, what with the “kids coming back” home and all. I mean, sure the bulk majority of them wouldn’t spit on Kody if his visor was on fire, but whatever you say, Robyn.

We also learn that the new Mountain Mansion has “40 percent more square footage” than their old mansion, as well as a second garage for “Kody and his projects.” 

Robyn says she and Kody prayed like crazy for this Mountain Mansion and are #Blessed to call it theirs. According to Ari, they’re even more #Blessed because this house is the ideal size for cartwheeling and playing hide-and-go-seek. She insists their previous mansion was a cramped shack. 

Kody and Robyn point out the guest room that will double as Truely’s room (how generous!), and then Kody spouts off some nonsense about his home’s “opulence” and they end things with a forced family hug/prayer.  

That’s all for this episode! 

Click here to read last week’s ‘Sister Wives’ recap! 

RELATED STORY: ‘Sister Wives’ Star Maddie Brown Reveals Her Husband Caleb Brush Has Chronic Kidney Disease & May Need Kidney Transplant 

(Photos: TLC)