The holidays are here! It’s that special time of year where you search high (HIGH! HIGH!) and low for the perfect gift!
The Ashley is here to help you find a unique gift for every Teen Mom fan on your list. From your fourth baby daddy, to your court-appointed attorney, to your overly perky adoption counselor, The Ashley has found a present that will portray the appropriate level of “Thank you for not turning me into CPS” cheer you want to send to everyone this holiday season!
These gifts are weird, but they’re certainly “more classier” than anything you could find at your local Walmart (except, of course, a $21.40 returnable engagement ring).
Here are The Ashley’s Top 10 gift picks! (Just a note: this is not a sponsored post in any way. The Ashley does not receive any sort of kickback for recommending these items; she just genuinely thinks they are funny, and she supports small businesses!)
“Booooooyfriend” Watch
If it’s about time for your pal’s mom to kick her out of the house, this is the perfect gift for her! This fine watch gives that special Christmas wish once bellowed by the great Barbara Evans: “Have fun livin’ in the street with your boooooooooyfriend!” This more-classier timepiece even features a cartoon drawing of “tha weeeeeeed” to welcome you to your new life of homelessness.
Buy your “Boooooyfriend” Watch here!
Cave-Dweller Ornament:
Does your first baby mama belong in a cave? Why not gift her this gorgeous ornament featuring Jo Rivera telling Kail Lowry that she should not be outside enjoying the sun? This glossy lil beaut can be made into several shapes, including a heart (in case your baby mama lacks one!) and is certain to bring holiday cheer to whatever cavern your ex may be residing in these days!
Buy your “Cave-Dweller” Ornament here!
Jenelle’s Muggie Blanket
Your sometimes-homeless, felon-but-not-illegal boyfriend will stay warm and toasty this year if you gift him this beautiful bed throw! (*Bed not required for use). That dirty green hoodie won’t be all he’ll be using to keep warm this holiday season. Your loved one can enjoy a warm mug of hot cocoa while wrapped up in the many (many) mugshots of Jenelle Evans! What a holiday treat!
Buy your Jenelle’s Muggie Blanket here!
Holler Treasures Totin’ Pouch:
Do you have a friend who is always misplacing their stuff? Then this totin’ pouch is the perfect gift! Featuring a photo of Leah Messer, the totin’ pouch has plenty of room for someone’s most-important treasures: Sweet ‘n’ Low packets for the youngins to snack on, a favorite cornbread recipe (even if your man “don’t want none” right now); and any and all items you’ll need to help yourself stand in your power!
Buy your Leah Totin’ Pouch here!
Smokin’ Jenelle Candle:
If there’s someone in your life who is always smokin’ “kilos of weed,” consider this gorgeous candle! The label of the candle brings us back to one of Jenelle Evans’ most-famous lines “I like to smoke this time of day!” With a variety of scents to choose from, the candle will surely cover up any stench— from your husband’s special scent of swamp water and bad life decisions, to the mildewy marijuana smells left behind after your boooooyfriend leaves!
Buy your Smokin’ Jenelle Candle here!
OK Teen Mom T-Shirt:
For the mom who’s tired of trying to convince everyone she’s a “damn good mom,” why not order her this stunning T-shirt, which lowers the expectation level of her mothering skills to an achievable goal? For the “Amber” in your life, The Ashley recommends this tee, which proudly proclaims them to be the “World’s Okayest Teen Mom.” Suitable to wear during a TikTok Live rant, this shirt comes in several different color schemes and styles!
Order your OK Teen Mom T-Shirt here!
A Personal Greeting from Your Fav Rehab’d Lovers:
Get your Granny what she really wants this holiday season: a personal video from Ryan and Amanda Edwards! The (former?) ‘Teen Mom’ trainwreck and his new bride are now on Cameo, meaning you can have the legally challenged lovers send your grandma advice on how to take a mugshot photo! You can also ask Ryan— a noted house-redecorator— to provide tips for choosing the perfect color paint to, um, spruce up your soon-to-be-ex-wife’s home. Ryan and Amanda’s Cameo site also offers pep talks, birthday greetings, “congrats on completing rehab” messages and more.
Book your Ryan and Amanda video here!
Barb’s Flip-Off Pillow:
Nothing quite says “holiday cheer” like Barbara Evans flipping off a camera! This gorgeous pillow will be the jewel of any home, whether it’s used to decorate a sofa, or to rest your head on while you dream of Barb’s soothing cackle laugh. Whoever you gift this treasure to will never tell you to “Eff Off” again!
Order your Barb Flip-Off Pillow here!
Leah’s Power-Standin’ Pic:
This hand-drawn piece of art is the perfect gift for anyone on your holiday list that may need a little encouragement in the new year. What better way to encourage your friend to “stand in yer power” than to buy them this Leah Messer mug to hang on their bedroom wall! It is sure to make this Christmas a happy hol(ler)day!
Buy your yer Power-Standin’ Pic here!
Barb & Drew True Love Card
This dazzling holiday card celebrates the true love story (that could have been) from ‘Teen Mom’: Dr. Drew and Barbara Evans! It’s the perfect card to send to any blazer-and-T-shirt-wearing TV “docta” you’re hoping to woo into dating you in the New Year! It pairs great with a bottle of itching powder!
Buy your Barb & Drew Card here!
To see The Ashley’s list of weird ‘Teen Mom’ themed gifts from last year, click here! To see her gift list from 2023, click here!
(Photos: Etsy; Zazzle; Red Bubble; Instagram; MTV)
