‘Counting On’ Season 3 Episode 5: Baking, Bad Spanish & Another Baby Boy

“Derick? He’s fine! He’s just excited about the baby!”

It’s time for another episode of TLC’s Counting On! As you know, we’re a bit behind on ‘Counting On’ recaps over here at The Roundup, so we’re trying to catch up. But, you know what they say—better late than pregnant (unless you’re a Duggar, of course!)

The last two-hour episode was stuffed fuller than Ben after he eats everyone else’s meals at Tacos For Life! Not only did that episode encompass a baby shower, a gender reveal, and a plenty of chores for Jana, but Jessa also plopped out another baby…from the comfort of her own couch!

This episode kicks off with Jessa and Ben trying to get used to life as a family of four. Now that baby Henry Wheelbarrow is here, Ben and Jessa have found it to be hard to take care of a newborn and The Spurge.

“The baby is sleeping so Jessa says we have to use our indoor voices! SHHH!”

Ben tells us about the challenges of being a parent of two.

“There are a lot of diapers. The trash piles up fast,” he tells us.

That Jana is always slacking!

We spend an inordinate amount of time watching Jessa shuffle around her house and pretending to do chores with the two babies in tow. How is this entertaining? This rivals that riveting episode from Season 1 where we basically spent an hour watching Joy pick out glasses. #NeverForget

Meanwhile Jinger is living far from the baby and Ben’s boo-hooing. She’s in Texas with her new husband Jeremy, attempting to learn Spanish so that they can communicate with the local heathens that they will eventually try to convert.

“Would you like to accompany me into the blessing-making room for some El Humpo Plenty?”

Jinger says it is imperative that they learn the Spanish word for baby because they always call each other “babe.”

We see what you’re doin’ there, TLC! You’re trying to place subtle hints in here that ol’ Jing is knocked up. Cute.

Speaking of knocked up, it’s time to talk about Jill who is, of course, pregnant with her second child. She heads to the doctor, who tells her that there could be something wrong with her arteries so he sends her for an ultrasound. They start playing the creepy music to try and build up the suspense.

Um…can we get an IV started for Derick or something?

Later, Jill and Derick head back to the doctor to get the results of Jill’s artery test. (Is there any way Derick can just stay at the doctor’s office? Like, can they set up a cot for him there or something just in case? He’s looking more and more corpse-like by the minute!)

Jill tells us that she’s worried about her arteries because both her grandmother and aunt had aneurysms. However, all that suspense was for nothing, and Jill’s test results show that she is perfectly fine.

“What pregnant woman wouldn’t want to sleep in a 110-degree shack full of scorpions?!”

Jill and a haggard-looking Derick decide that, since Jill’s alright, they can return to Central America for a while until Jill is read to heave this baby from her loins. They must return to the jungle to convert more heathens, despite the fact that Jill’s pregnant and Derick is looking more and more like an extra on The Walking Dead every time we see him!

Finally, we check in with Joy, who is heading to her boyfriend Austin‘s house. While that may sound rather scandalous, Joy isn’t there to give Austin a sneaky-peek of her knee or anything. She’s actually there to cook him and his family dinner.

Austin, who has really jumped right in to this on-camera interview thing,  tells us that when he was 17, he went to his dad and asked him what he would like to see Austin accomplish before he would give him his blessing to be married. Austin said his dad prayed about it for a few weeks and then came back to him with his answer. His answer was he would like Austin to sell five houses.

Wait…what? How are the two things related? That’s like saying, “Joy, before you can get pregnant, we’d like you to go out and swim the English Channel…in your denim skirt, of course.” WTF?

Anyway, Austin is well on his way to accomplishing that goal because he is currently working on his fifth house. Joy can already feel her bare feet running down the aisle!

When you realize you’re gonna be in the kitchen making cakes or on the couch making babies until you hit menopause…

Austin’s mother gives Joy the recipe for Austin’s favorite dessert, cheesecake, and tells her to make it.

“Is this supposed to look like scrambled eggs?” Joy calls out.

Wait…are we supposed to believe that Joy, who has been raised since birth to cook, clean and care for her siblings, has no idea how to navigate a kitchen?! Come.On.

Joy tells us that Austin and his family live on a farm an hour away from her parent’s house. She says she could see herself moving out to the farm after they are married. Austin’s parents tell us that they are pleased with the match because they have been “pure before the Lord.”

“Pssh, college! The only thing you need to learn, Joy, is right here in this recipe box!”

Well, you know, that and now they get to be on a TV show and get a TLC paycheck…

Meanwhile in Texas, Jeremy and Jinger head to a Mexican restaurant and try to speak Spanish to the wait staff. They fail miserably.

“They love us! Watch me ask her where the library is!”

Their Spanish is embarrassingly bad and the waitress looks at them like she wants to punch them both in the mouth.  Hey, at least they didn’t show up wearing sombreros (to help them “blend in with the locals”) and yell “Bueno tard!” when they walked in the restaurant, so there’s that…

Back in Arkansas, it’s time for Jill and Derick to reveal their baby’s gender.

Derick (who, mind you, went to college), gives us some facts and figures regarding the baby.

“There’s a 50/50 chance,” he tells us. “People make it out to be a huge deal but there are only two choices.”

Wait…did he steal that line from Ben? That sounds like a Ben-ism.

They decide they will reveal the gender of the baby to the family by making them go on a weird scavenger hunt. The clues will eventually lead the family to the box that will either contain a “girl outfit” or a “boy outfit.” (Poor Jana probably had to sew both of the outfits.)

So are we not even going to ADDRESS that hat, guys? Come on!

Jill says going in, she thinks the baby is a girl. It’s fairly obvious that Jill is hoping for a girl, but she can’t really say that because, well, “every baby is a blessing.”

Derick is attempting to disguise the fact that he looks like the Crypt Keeper by wearing a ridiculously oversized cowboy hat. He looks like the lost Village Person.

Finally, it’s time for Jill and Derick to announce if their baby is a “him-Bob” or a “her-Bob.” (Actually, we kind of like “Him-Bob” for a boy’s name. Just sayin’…)

After leading the family through this long game of mystery, Jordyn finally finds the box. During the whole gender reveal segment, Jana looks bored to tears. Well, either that or she’s doing a mental checklist of how many kids she still needs to get fed, bathed and ready for bed.

“Seriously…we have GOT to get cable.”

The box is opened and the gender is revealed. And…. It’s a boy! That will make six male Duggar grandkids and two female ones (who are affectionately known as “The Help” in the Duggar clan).

“I’m definitely excited we got another boy coming into the family, it’s just another one to add to the entourage,” Jill’s brother Jason says.

Just add him to the heap!

“We’ll keep trying,” Derick’s mom says to Jill, who looks a little sad that she’s not having a girl. “Maybe next time.”

Is anyone else a little creeped out by that comment for some reason? Are Derick’s mom and the Duggars going to be in the bedroom cheering Jill and Derick on while they create the next little Duggar heiress?

On the next episode, Jill and Derick go back to Central America, Joseph asks Kendra’s father if he can court her, and Austin proposes to Joy. So…more marriages, courtships and babies. As usual.

Click here to read our recap of the previous episode of ‘Counting On!’

(Photos: TLC)

21 Comments

  1. Thinking of Jill and Derick having sex makes me vomit. They are by far one of he most unattractive couples I’ve ever seen…


  2. Every moment that Derrick wasn’t popping up 3 millimeters from the camera while shrieking “GOOOOD EVENING, KIDDIES!” as he cackled was, to me, a fucking moment of amazing I’ll never know.

    Bonus if he could’ve had a second, like “My STRIFE and I only make BOILS… for GHOULS it’s better time JANAGMENT!”

    …shit. I’m going to hell.


  3. Of course Joy doesn’t know how to make cheesecakes – those harlot Golden Girls worshiped cheesecake so you know JimBob decided that cheesecake is what make women feel like they could be free and independent and therefore was Satan’s desert. No cheesecake in the compound!


  4. Pretty sure they look so bummed when it’s another boy because girls are the ones who will be trained to take over their mom’s work.


  5. Love your Counting On recaps! Please continue! For the suggestion box, Real Housewives recaps would also be fun!


    1. Yup, he has two with third on the way. (I really WONDER how they will announce his arrival if at all. YOU KNOW people are not happy about it and for a good reason! Which woman with dignity would have more of his kids, ew, I feel so so bad for this one, it is not his fault his parents keep on reproducing to save their marriage, I believe he will be favored too)


  6. Are Derick’s mom and the Duggars going to be in the bedroom cheering Jill and Derick on while they create the next little Duggar heiress?

    The mental image can’t leave my head now. LOL

    Also it says a lot how they only see (I thought Jason was the nice one) their children as numbers and not humans and that is stuck in their brain cuz their parents brainwashed them to think like that. Sigh. STOP OVERPOPULATING DUGGARS!


  7. Idk why but I found this recap to be extra hilarious 10/10 would read again.

    Please make recapping the Duggars a priority as their episodes are always fills of gold especially with ol Ben.

    I used to follow lots of great Duggar Snark instagrams but sadly they’ve all been deleted so I need the goods from somewhere.


  8. Hilarious! Thank you for this one.

    Curious whether TLC and the Duggars plan to discuss how Joseph managed to win the heart of his poor brother’s girlfriend (‘s father).
    Jed has been forced, I mean gladly forgave him after a while. So far the official Duggar version.

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