JT’s Passing Notes, Courtney Eats and Coach Wears a Kimono: What the F Was Up With Survivor Last Night?!

"What do you mean there's no all-girl alliance? Crap...can I get a do-over?!"

Last night’s Survivor was one of the strangest that I’ve ever seen. That’s saying a lot when you consider that over the years, we’ve seen Richard Hatch’s “hanging doodle” flopping around, we’ve seen someone literally throw themselves into a fire pit and we’ve seen a player go home despite the fact that he had two immunity idols in his pocket (poor James.)

The shenanigans started when JT, seeing that Coach has been voted out, concludes that the Villains must have an all-girl alliance going and poor Russell is about to be eaten alive by the mob of angry riot grrrrls on his team. Sensing that this is his opportunity to get Russell on his side when the merge happens (giving his team ‘the numbers’ as they call it), JT comes up with the brilliant idea of giving his immunity idol to Russell. Yes. To Russell. You read that correctly. WTF?!

So in a scene straight out of a Brooklyn mob movie, Colby whispers to Russell during the challenge “Psst. Psst. Russell? You goin’ home tonight? Tell ya’ what I’m gonna do.” He tells Russell to go find JT after the challenge. JT passes Russell a note that basically reads ‘Here’s the idol. Vote Parvati off and join up with us.” And in true “Inspector Gadget”-esque form, he signs the note “Destroy this note immediately after reading!”

How does Russell always manage to get his leprechaun mitts on the hidden immunity idols? The man must have a magnet stuck down his Fruit of the Looms that pulls him in the direction of  all of the idols. Good lord!

In other news, Amanda’s butt checks made a few discreet appearances (yawn), but Courtney ate! The villains won a challenge (finally), allowing them to feast on Outback Steakhouse food (great product plug, btw).

Anyway, the funny thing is, Russell told the Heroes that Parvati was running the game, in hopes of throwing them off. Though he doesn’t know it, this is basically true. The girls all listen to her and Russell actually trusts her. Russell doesn’t know it but he is basically sleeping with the enemy at this point.

Parvati is my prediction to win it all this season. Which makes me mad because not only will have the ability to look way better than me (even without makeup and in raggy clothes), but now she’ll have a million dollars too. At least if Russell wins, he’ll still look like a toothless troll.

"Hmm...that Survivor buff would make a fantastic kimono for the Dragon Slayer. I could totally wear it to the Renaissance Fair afterwards!"

At tribal council, it was Courtney who got the ax. She will join Coach, (who showed up to tribal wearing a kimono, naturally), as the second member of the jury. I must say, if I didn’t have to look at her creepy Tales from the Crypt body, I might like Courtney. She says witty things and calls people out when they’re being douchebags. I was sad to see her go, but let’s face it, another couple days out there on the island without food and Courtney probably would have died.


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