This week, MTV took us into the wonderful of [nearly] pre-teen unplanned pregnancy. The episode featured 15-year-old Taylor the youngest girl ever to be featured on 16 & Pregnant. (She was 14 when she got pregnant and at the start of filming!)
The bright side of getting pregnant so young? Taylor still probably had her baby doll crib and stroller in her bedroom, so she probably saved money on baby supplies!
The episode begins with Taylor talking to her boyfriend, Nathan (aka ‘Nate-Dog’) about all of the possible options they have. Taylor’s mom has been lobbying hard for the couple to put the baby up for adoption; however Taylor and Nate-Dog are against adoption.
Taylor has a major daddy complex due to her own father “quitting” her a few years back. She wants to make sure that Nate-Dog is going to be there for their baby forever. Something tells me this will not end well for Taylor and Baby.
Nate-Dog says he feels a baby should be raised only by her ‘blood parents.’ (Um, is this applicable even if the ‘blood’ mom is still technically young enough to order off the “Lil’ Buckaroo” menu at restaurants?)
Nate and a seven-months-pregnant Taylor head out to the roller skating rink (as you do). The pregnancy has obviously thrown Taylor’s body through a loop, as she’s not able to skate as easily as she used to.
“I feel like a little kid!” she says.
They proceed to participate in all the cool kids’ skating sessions: disco skate, backwards skate, holding hands skate.
Later on, Taylor decides that she needs to tell her mom Debbie that she’s keeping the baby. Her mom is understandably upset, as she’s barely making it as it is, and adding baby supplies to her budget isn’t going to help matters. Sadly, she can’t even demand that Taylor get a job to help support her baby because she’s too young to legally work.
Debbie’s still trying to convince Taylor to come into the wonderful world of adoption, but Taylor’s having none of it. After all, she says, if she gives the baby away, she’ll miss all of its milestones: first steps, first smile, first fall down the stairs. Um…..I’m sorry whhaaaat?! Yes, baby’s first violent fall is definitely a Kodak moment.
Paging Brandon and Theresa! You’re needed in Ohio STAT!
The heart-to-heart talk continues; however, The Ashley had a hard time concentrating on what they were saying, do to her being fixated on the teeny-bopper-esque photo collage that covered the walls of Taylor’s room. Let’s just say if you have a subscription to BOP! magazine, you shouldn’t be having a child.
Taylor’s sister, Jeana, tries to set the couple straight and help Mom push the adoption card. Jeana appears to be an old pro at the “preggo before prom” scenario. She looks to be about 18 or 19; however she has a daughter that appears somewhere around 7 or 8 sitting next to her. Do the math.
Nate’s mom takes the kids to the Goodwill to get “baby clothes and stuff.” Taylor had to break into her piggy bank and claw out all of her babysitting money in order to pay for the essentials. (I wish I was making this up, but I’m not.)
Next, it’s off to the local “Asia Buffet” to make plans for who the hell is going to be watching this kid while Taylor and Nate-Dog are in school. Taylor’s mom joins them, and she and Nate’s mom compare their work schedules and realize what The Ashley knew all along– we have a big problem.
Since their moms aren’t available to watch the baby due to their work schedules, Nate tells Taylor that she’ll have to do “virtual school,” while he’s continue to go to “real school.” Taylor’s not happy; but the Nate-Dog wants what the Nate-Dog wants.
Next up is a scene I’d never thought I’d see on a TV screen (unless it was a Saturday Night Live skit or something). Taylor’s only got one week before the baby comes, and it’s Halloween, so she’s “going to make the most of it.”
It’s trick-or-treating time, biotches! Nate, Taylor and their assorted friends put on crappy costumes (Taylor goes as a baby-carrying bunny, natch) and head out.
Here are my thoughts on this: if you are currently under the care of an OB/GYN and have to take prenatal vitamins, I think it’s time to hang up the ol’ plastic orange trick-or-treating pumpkin. Just sayin’.
Later the couple empties their treat sacks and counts the night’s bounty. (“Sweet I got 16 snickers and 2 Starbursts! I guess we can cross ‘baby food and stuff’ off the grocery list!”)
The day finally comes for Taylor to be induced. She’s trying to pack up for the hospital stay, asking her mom, “Should I take, like, shirt-shirts and also tank tops?”
Yes. It’s nice to have several fashion options for when you’re passing a child through your loins.
Labor’s rough on Taylor and she’s crying that she just wants to go home. Finally after 13 hours, Taylor pushes the baby out. Nate-Dog’s face is absolutely priceless.
A few days later, Taylor’s friend Kayla (they all have a friend named Kayla, right?) comes over to cheer Taylor up, telling her how cool it was that they got to make pinatas in Spanish class.
“I want to make a pinata!” wails Taylor.
Nate-Dog is (naturally) being a douche and not helping Taylor with the baby responsibilities, even after Mama Deb and the sister confront him.
And that’s why you use birth control, kiddies!
To read more of The Ashley’s “16 and Pregnant” recaps, click here!