This week on Teen Mom, we are catching up where we left off from last week’s episode: Butch is free from jail (Thank the Baby Jesus!) and is making appearances on the show again; Amber is facing the possibility that she may go to jail and lose Baby Leah forever due to her beating of Gary, Maci is still trying to decide where to live; and Farrah is still being a general crapnugget to everyone who dares come in contact with her.
Anyway, Maci is living with Kyle in Nashville and is unhappy that she has to drive two hours each way to go to school in Chattanooga. Um…I’m pretty sure they have junior colleges in Nashville…why not just switch schools? It’s not like she’s attending Stanford or anything…
She heads to the counselor’s office and learns that she’s only passed two out of her four classes. The counselor is trying to be nice, but he finally levels with her, telling her to basically quit farting around with Kyle and MTV cameras and the like and get serious about getting her degree. He tells her a college degree will last a lot longer, (and will still be around once MTV stops writing you checks!)
She slunks out of the college office and heads to her parents’ house to deliver two pieces of news: 1) she failed her classes and 2) she’s going to be shacking up with Kyle in Nashville. It’s as if Christmas came early for Mama and Papa Bookout.
Naturally, Maci’s parents aren’t happy to hear any of this, and tell her pretty much the same thing the school counselor does: get your ass to school and get serious.
Over in Michigan, Catelynn and Tyler are enjoying time in their own apartment, although, I honestly don’t see how since their new apartment is Butch-less. (‘Member kids, everything is better with Butch!) Catelynn remembers that she still has stuff over at her mom’s house and needs to go pick it up, so she calls April to arrange a time.
Apparently, April’s in a “mood.” She tells Cate to “come get your sh*t by 3 o’clock!” Um…why the sudden rush, April? Are you anxious to turn Cate’s old room into a library for you and Butch? Ha ha, I’m funny.
“THREE!” April screams into the phone again. It’s all Inspector Gadget-y: “You have until 3’olock to pick up your Wal-Mart shirts or they will self-destruct!” All of a sudden, April randomly terminates the phone call, mumbling that she has to go because “someone’s here” and hangs up. Who knows who was at the door, but The Ashley thinks it was probably Butch, looking to “get his freak on.”
Poor Cate; April’s not allowed near Butch so she’s taking her sexual frustration out on her daughter. (Who can blame her? Every gal in America wants a piece of Butch’s salt-n-peppa rat tail!) Later, Catelynn and Tyler go to pick up Butch and take him to lunch, where they discuss the fact that their family needs to work on their issues so that someday maybe Baby Carly will be able to come visit them.
(I’m just going to say this right now: there is no way in hell that The Whitebreads-aka Brandon and Theresa- are going to let their daughter visit April and Butch in their cigarette-smoke-filled lair. It’s a nice dream, but we all know it’s not going to happen.) Anyway, the kids suggest family counseling, and Butch agrees, leaving us with a sparkling tidbit of advice:
“You can’t do [rehab] for nobody–not my kids, not my truck (???), not my grandmother–but you.” Am I the only one that wants to get a bumper sticker with that saying on it?
Next we check in with Farrah. She’s still mad that Derrick’s mother wants to see Sophia. (It’s ironic that his mom’s name is Stormie, because that should actually be Farrah’s name, due to her miserable attitude and venomous outbursts) Farrah and Deb head to their lawyer’s office to discuss their options.
The lawyer has obviously never been on the TV before, because he keeps sneaking creepy smiles at the camera while talking to Farrah.
In Indiana, Amber is struggling with the Child Protective Services and police stuff. She says she’s going to counseling to deal with the stress of her life. OK…sorry, but we need to stop right here for a sec. What stress does she have? Yes, she has a daughter, but she doesn’t work (at least not since Tanning Salon Job circa 2009, as far as I know), doesn’t go to school and barely leaves the couch. Seriously, what stress does she have?
Amber’s been staying with her friend Kim, who lives in Amber’s old apartment. Unfortunately, there’s nowhere for Leah to sleep at Kim’s place. Why, you ask? Because Leah’s crib is filled up with junk. Obviously, the thought of cleaning out the crib is out of the question (where would they store the boxes and big red ball?) so Leah is staying with Gary.
Later, Amber goes to see Gary, who tells her that the CPS came looking for her earlier. Amber decides to schedule a meeting with her attorney, but what she really needs to do is schedule a meeting with her eyebrow waxer…where the hell did the other half of her eyebrow go?!
Catelynn and Tyler are at their apartment when all of sudden April shows up, carrying a cloud of ciggie smoke along with her. She saunters in and is surprised to see that Cate’s doing her homework. (“Why ya gotta keep trying to do that learning stuff?”) It’s here we notice that there’s something, um, different about April. Her face looks bonier and she seems very, um, spacey. Hmmmm…
Meanwhile, the two-hour school commute is really starting to get to Maci and she comes home in a bad mood. She tells Kyle the drive is making her want to shoot herself. To talk Maci off the ledge, Kyle suggests that maybe he could drive her to Chattanooga sometimes. Bless his little heart…Maci shoots back “How would I get home?” “I dunno” says Kyle. It was a stupid suggestion, but it was kind of sweet on Kyle’s part.
Maci decides she’s done with this drive and is moving back home, asking Kyle to come with her. Unlike Maci and most of this show’s cast, Kyle actually has a non-MTV-related job, so he’d have to quit if he moved. I just can’t stand it anymore: why the hell can’t she go to school in Nashville?!?
Back at Amber’s old apartment, she sits down with her friend Kim (whose hair could not be more highlighted. Four colors, girl, really?) Like Farrah’s attorney, Kim is awkwardly smiling at the camera while Amber explains that she’s never going to get physical with Gary again (not in that way, sickos!) Amber’s attorney, Bob, calls and tells her that <surprise!> the CPS meeting is actually going to take place at the Police Station! This may not be good for Amber…
It’s time for yet another Maci segment. She’s still trying to decide where to live. Seriously, just move to Nashville so we can move on to more important ‘Teen Mom’ things, such as Butch. She goes to look at apartments (which is apparently code for “two-story houses” in Chattanooga). She doesn’t want to move back in with her parents, but how the hell does she afford a rental house if she doesn’t have a job? It’s kind of ridiculous.
She finds a beautiful house apartment and Kyle surprises her and shows up. She gives him a tour of her new pad, which naturally includes a sunken jacuzzi tub. (Because all single teenage moms get to have one of those!) Kyle comes bearing big news: he’s quit his job and is moving to Chattanooga to be with her and Bentley. Yay! The Ashley wants them to end up together!
Meanwhile, Catelynn calls her mom to try to tell April how she’s been feeling. She tells her that her ever-changing mood is hard to take and that they need to respect each other. I feel bad for Cate; she’s really trying to make things work, and suggests counseling again. Finally April agrees, stating that she really wants to “get over this sh*t.” (Aw, Ma, you always know the right things to say.) They go meet with a counselor and April promises not to call Cate a bitch or a whore anymore. I think this is a major step in the right direction.
Finally, Farrah heads to court with her mom to deal with the “Grandparents’ Rights” case. To lighten the mood during the car ride over, Deb tells Farrah that she introduced Sophia to Barney and that she loves the big purple dino now. Farrah has a complete sh*t-fit, telling her mom that “it’s not Barney time!” and that Deb “sucks at being her mom” because she doesn’t know how to calm her down. How about a stun gun to the face Farrah? Would that calm you down, because that’s what Deb should have given you for being so tarty with her.
She needs to chill out and go live with Catelynn’s mom April for a week to learn how good she really has it.
Next week: more court drama (boo, no cameras allowed) and some baby-daddy Maci/Ryan drama.
I agree, Farrah should allow Sophia to have a relationship with her fathers family. If he had not died, I am sure she would have had that opportunity to be part of his family. I often thought in the last season of teen mom Farrah used Derek’s death to gain viewers sympathy, I did not feel it was genuine. Those ridiculous crying scenes with no visible tears? I remember her saying before he died that she wanted nothing to do with him and did not want him to know that she was pregnant, thats how close they were. Farrah is an unpleasant person. The way she treats her parents, and the way she speaks to people in general. Ugly inside and out.
Farrah is self-obsessed and has an inflated opinion of herself.
Farrah is such an ungrateful brat now I know why her mom beat the crap out of her. Her mom needs to stop helping her so she can know how it is to be alone with no help and realize she is doing wrong by mistreating her.
I still think Farrah sould give her daughter sophia a chance to see her grandmother. to get to know the other side of the family.
Anyone else notice how orange Amber and her friend Kim are? Like once the screen shots go from someone normal like Catelynn to Amber’s scenes, there’s a complete 360 on skin color. I think I know what she does with her free-time (that is besides texting and moaning over nothing on her couch). And how did she get so skinny? She never talked about that. Farrah is an ungrateful idiot , and should be thanful her parents haven’t disowned her. Like you said she probably needs a good taser to the face! Anyone else else notice the huge difference between the apartment Cate& Tyler got and the new so called “apartment” Maci just got? Don’t they get paid the same? Or is Maci making some on the side money? The world may never know..
Yes!!! Although I think for awhile, Tyler was visiting the ol’ spray tan place and his mama too….they are really orange. Will someone PLEASE cut Butch’s tail off???? For the love of God! I think ol’ April needs to hit up a rehab or two also. Yes I would taser Farrah’s face. Also when she was being hateful to her dad (whom she calls Michael) after she had her breast “augmentation”…….whateva! Yes I bet Maci’s parents help her out too…..I highly doubt she has to pay all of her bills all by herself. I would like a DNA test on that baby too….because he sure looks like ol’ “Ky”.
Has anyone else noticed that Amber’s hair will look somewhat decent from the front view but the minute the camera shows the back of her head it looks like a rat’s nest? Like all she does all day is lay on that couch and fret about what may or may not happen? Get a job! Oh wait you have one….MTV pays you. Farrah needs to learn to respect her elders! Oh I would slap her hateful mouth off! Her mom was just trying to lighten the mood on the way to the courthouse. Gah!
i was thinking the same exact thing about her hair! I bet she doesn’t even take the time to wash that thing. It probably smells awful.
I’m super late reading this but what a great recap. Maci really irks me. Everything she does seriously defies logic. She shouldn’t had never moved to Nashville in the first place. Whoa, ur 2 hours away from ur bf. Um if ur relationship isn’t strong enough to survive a 2 hours distance when u can make visits all the time then u shouldn’t be dating. Sorry. Then she moves back to Chattanooga after she figures out driving 2 hours for school is idiotic. Like how dumb are u. 2 hours? Wow….Oh you wanna know how she can afford to pay for a house or rich person’s apartment, its because she only “plays poor” on tv. She isn’t poor at all. Have u seen her tricked out car? Enough said. I seriously thought amber was goin to jail when the lawyer told her to go the the police station. Couldn’t believe they didn’t arrest her but don’t worry, its coming…Farrah is so terrible. No wonder why she has so many mishaps n crap she has to deal with. He attitude towards her parents is appaling…
do you have an affiliation with patrick varone? bc you seem to copy everything he does and blogs about
Nope but he’s funny. We make fun of a lot of the same things because we watch the same show. Obviously.
I was thinking the same thing! They are so similar to his teen mom posts and come out a few days after his. He’s so funny.
We recap the same showso it’s very likely that we will be making fun of the same things that happen on the show. Also, my recaps come out after ibbb’s because I am a journalist with a real job and assignments, all of which come before making fun of Amber and the gang so I finish them whenever I get a chance. With all the stupid things that happen on this show, isn’t there room for everyone to make fun?? 🙂 Thanks for reading the site -The Ashley
Yeah what makes the Maci school thing worse is that the college she attends has a branch in Nashville. Same school. Different location. WTF maci….
Farrah and Catelynn’s mom have the SAME personality. No joke. They both act completely nasty to othe people (and I use to actually stick up for farrah all the time.. but her attitude is sick) and everyone around them walks on egg shells because they never know when Farrah or April are going to murder them with words. Jeez….. lighten up.
Correct me if I am wrong.. But didn’t Maci transfer to a Nashville community college last year when she moved up there? Or was that just something she talked about but didn’t actually do? Also I don’t know what kind of apartment place they lived in, but the places around where I live don’t just let people live there for a few months and then decide they want to move out.. You sign 6-12 month leases
Amber is just stressed about losing her kid. I’m a mom myself, and not a teen mom… I don’t have to worry about CPS and shit but, any mother who loves there children would be stressed out when they got CPS on their case. I didn’t see the whole thing but I think that’s the only thing she was stressing about. Yet if she weren’t so violent she wouldn’t have this problem. I would be more scared than anything else though. Well maybe you just need to pay attention to the show more and maybe get a life, who pays attention to someone’s eyebrows like that, seriously?
Her eyebrows were actually painfully obvious to anyone watching the episode.. My husband who never notices when I get my hair done or is wearing something new noticed that her eyebrows were significantly different from one scene to the next. If its obvious to him, then its obvious to anyone!
Farrah whole personality is just nasty don’t understand why she thinks it’s ok to her parents like that. This whole Derek situation Farrah should let Derek mother see Sophia Farrah is being a immature brat . She is not thinking about Sophia she is thinking about herself like always because when you are a parent you have to do what best for kid . There is no right for Sophia not to have relationship with Derek mother Farrah is still holding on to what happen between the two of them 3 years ago. I feel sorry for Sophia I hope she growup to be a good person and respect people and not be self center nasty person like her mother. I know why Farrah is friendless because she talks to people like they are dogs maci needs to worry more about school. Less about Kyle maci true colors are finally showing this season she is not as perfect as she wants the world to believe she is. Catelynn I feel sorry for her April is just a hot mess but catelynn is still an amazing person Farrah could learn alot from catelynn.