‘Teen Mom’ Amber Portwood Loses Custody, Faces Jail Time (Again)

"They're taking my self tanner away?!?! Oh, just my kid...no problem then!"

Am I having deja vu here? Haven’t I written this story before?

It’s been a crappy week for Teen Mom trainwreck Amber Portwood. Yesterday, a judge decided that Amber’s baby-daddy, Gary Shirley, was more fit to care for their daughter than Amber and awarded him full custody. Gary, obviously, was overjoyed with the news, and shared his feelings with his Facebook fans.

“As of today I’ve been granted full custody of Leah, with Amber in agreement. Will only accept the best for my daughter.” (The post has mysteriously disappeared from his page, however. I guess ol’ MTV probably got pissed off that he announced it before they could?)

“Today amongst all days is the single greatest day for the rest of my life,” he later Tweeted. He is currently on his way to Disney World and Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida, with Leah to celebrate his custody victory.

However, there will be no Mickey ear hats or pictures with Goofy for Amber. Aside from losing custody, she is facing some serious jail time for violating her probation (which stems from when she beat the beJesus out of poor Gary on ‘Teen Mom’ Season 1).

"I hope my regular cell is ready for me!"

According to court records obtained by TMZ, Amber has pretty much thumbed her nose at all of the things she was required to do in order to stay out of the slammer. To date, she’s failed to meet at least five of her probation terms. She was supposed to have been “behaving well in public” (which, apparently means that you can’t go booze it up in an IHOP parking lot and then stagger inside in a drunken stupor and yell at people, go figure.)

She’s also failed to get her GED, complete anger management evaluations and classes, pay her probation fees or set up the required $10,000 college fund for her daughter. She will be back in court in January to find out if she will be punished for not completing any of her probation terms.

From what The Ashley’s good source tells her (but believe what you want), Amber spends most of her days holed up in her house with her new boyfriend, Mike. The source (who lives very close to Amber) says that the lights are on in the house until the wee hours of the night and that the boyfriend is known around town as a “bad seed.”

The source tells me that they have been filming for ‘Teen Mom’ Season 4 lately and that we will have a chance to see this Mike character on the show most likely. (I doubt that he can compete with Amber’s former beau, “Clin’n” in terms of personality though. That guy was classic!)

I doubt Amber will end up in the slammer; as reality TV stars seem to have immunity against doing jail time (just ask Jenelle Evans!)

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