During last night’s three-hour-long Bachelor finale/torture session, fans got to catch up with former Bachelorette star Ashley Hebert and her fiance J.P Rosenbaum, who sat down with The Harrison to discuss what their lives have been like since their season of the show aired.

They didn’t reveal anything super exciting, just that Ashley finished school and they’re planning to be married by next year (I’m holding my breath!) They also discussed how horrible the media scrutiny is for the star of these shows, which was honestly the only interesting part of the whole “After the Final Rose” special. (More on that and the finale later!)

This morning, Ashley took to her new blog to give us further details on how bad things actually got while she was the ‘Bachelorette.’

“The airing of my season of ‘The Bachelorette’ was one of the darkest memories of my life,” she wrote. “Even though I had an amazing man to help me through it, I couldn’t help but wonder why I was being mistreated by people I trusted, by one of the guys, and now, America. 

“I couldn’t help but wonder what everyone was thinking,’ she continued. “I would check the blogs, the twitter feed, I would Google my name uncontrollably.  It was this weird addiction…it was almost self-abuse.”

Ashley claims that she still has a hard time appearing on television, even today.

“Each time I am on television, I go into this weird state of anxiety,” she wrote. “As if, I am about to relive all the negativity I was once subjected to.  I call it bachelor post-traumatic stress disorder.”

She goes on to say that after her appearance on last night’s finale, she was relieved to see that public opinion of her (and her relationship with J.P.) had shifted toward the positive.

“When I got home tonight, I did what I once did and checked the twitter feed only to have my heart warmed and my faith in the goodness of people renewed,” she wrote.

It’s nice to see that the public is being nicer to Ashley these days; however, I don’t predict that Ben‘s fiance(?) Courtney will have any luck winning approval from the public any time soon.