Top 10 Things I’ll Miss Most About ‘Teen Mom’

After four seasons, MTV has finally closed the [cartoon-animated] book on the show Teen Mom. As a faithful viewer, The Ashley is sad to know that she will no longer be able to tune in on Tuesday nights to see the latest hi-jinks of Farrah, Maci, Catelynn and Amber (and their baby-daddies).

While she will miss the show in general, here are 10 other things that The Ashley is sad to see go:

1) Farrah’s Ugly Cry-Face

It’s haunted our nightmares since the first season of ‘Teen Mom.’ We watch as Farrah doesn’t get her way and we know it’s coming…the most horrifying/hysterical cry-face ever to appear on television. For whatever the reason Farrah is unable to blubber without contorting her face and looking like something that belongs in a horror movie. And I love it.

2) Gary’s “Belden Lineman Camp” Shirt

Not only are we bidding Gary Shirley farewell, but we also must say goodbye to his trusty “Belden Lineman Camp” T-shirt. It’s been around since we first met Gary and Amber of ’16 & Pregnant,’ so it’s truly like losing an old friend. Gary was sporting this frock for many of his most important MTV moments, including when Amber chocked the beJesus out of him on camera. (Ironically, the shirt also features two boxing-glove-fisted arms on it as well.)

So what does “Belden Lineman Camp” actually mean? It’s a camp held at Anderson University in Indiana for football players. Put on by Hall of Famer Jim Belden, it offers great technical skills training— and an all-you-can-eat lunch! (Now I understand why Gary liked it so much!)

3) Making Fun of Amber’s Spider Eyelashes

Oh, creepy Amber eyelashes, you’ve brought me such joy over the past two seasons, watching Amber bat you around her eye socket. So fake, so long, and so black, The Ashley will truly miss not getting to make wisecracks about Amber’s horrific lashes.

They scare me yet intrigue me at the same time.

"I'm sexy and I know it."

4) Butch’s Rat-Tailed Mullet

Let’s face it; no one can swing a rat tail like Butch Baltierra! We’ve tracked the progress of Butch’s salt-n-peppa mane since ’16 & Pregnant,’ and, although at times it was longer or curlier than others, his rat tail remained the only constant in Butch’s life. (Other than doing drugs and getting hauled into jail on the regular, of course).

I really feel like the Baby Jesus put Butch on this earth (and this show) just to give The Ashley something to chuckle at each week. It hurts to know that we won’t get to see him anymore.

5) Watching the Cuteness of Catelynn & Tyler

If The Ashley could give each of her readers a gift, she would give them all “a Tyler” as a boyfriend. Sweet, caring and so supportive of his longtime girlfriend, Catelynn, Tyler is one of the best guys on reality TV. Watching these two together makes me happy. It also shows that true love really does exist.

6) Bentley & His Adorable Voice

If The Ashley ever has kids, she wants a Bentley. That kid is so adorable! His little squeaky voice just melts The Ashley’s heart, and that’s not an easy thing to do!

His little Southern accent and the random things that he says get me every time!

teen mom

7) Watching Maci’s Mom Sharon & Tyler’s Mom Kim Tell It Like It Is

As The Ashley’s said before, Maci’s mom, Sharon, and Tyler’s mom, Kim, Sharon and Kim tell it like it easy, and are never afraid to let their kids know when they think that they’re being an idiot. (‘Member the look on Maci’s mom’s face when Maci told her that she wanted to have another kid? Priceless!)

While Sharon and Kim can always be counted on for wise words and the occasional wisecrack, they certainly have no lack of love for their children. They always seem to know what’s best for their kids, and The Ashley will miss them.

"Oh crap! I forgot I was supposed to be poor!"

8 ) Seeing the Girls Pretend to be Poor

How much do those ‘Teen Mom’ girls make? This is one of the questions that The Ashley is most-often ask. While the actual number is not known, we do know that the girls are clearing well over $65,000 a season, which makes them much richer than the average teenage mom.

Still, MTV insists that they pretend that they are poor. Apparently, they think that we don’t notice that Amber switches “apartments” (and by “apartments” I mean ginormous houses) every few months, that Maci and/or Kyle drives a Mercedes, and that Farrah is able to drive a new car, move across country and afford a nanny, all while posing as “typical” teen moms. Call me when they’re driving a 1992 Chevy Lumina that has no bumper, then I’ll believe they’re poor.

9) Watching the Kids Grow Up

We’ve been to their birthday parties, we’ve watched them take their first steps— hell, we even gawked at them being born, and now we must say goodbye to the kids of ‘Teen Mom.’ We’ve watched as Bentley, Sophia and Leah have grown from newborns to actual kids, and, although we won’t be able to check in with them each week to see how they are progressing, you can still follow their parents’ lives on The Roundup. (There are also rumors that some of the girls will be getting spin-offs, so this might not be the last we see of these kids!)

"I'm done!"

10 Hearing Gary and/or Amber Scream “I’m Done!”

They scream it at each other, they scream it at random people, and, sometimes, they even scream it to themselves when they just can’t take a situation anymore. In the first seasons of ‘Teen Mom,’ Gary and/or Amber would scream “I’m done!” after every fight. Sometimes it would even be a race to see who could fit it into the argument first, and then storm out of the house in a huff. I’m really going to miss this.

Which of these things will you miss the most, now that ‘Teen Mom’ has gone off the air? Tell The Ashley by voting below!


    1. @Baby Goo…what planet are you from? You were obviously beamed in from some other universe if you think I would make jokes about someone dying in a car crash. -The Ashley

  1. OMG Ashley you had me ROTFL on all your comments funny comments from the Farrah ugly face cry to the Amber lashes…OMG hilarious! Will miss your post the most too.

  2. haha I agree 500% about the “pretending to be poor” thing. I’m not a teen mom but still a young single mom and I cannot even believe the things these girls get to do. Go on all these vacations, buy their kids anything they want, always have perfect hair and nails, and its madness haha. I WISH I could afford even half of that stuff.

  3. I’m sure we will all miss Maci dropping her classes before the end of the semester because she’s failing. Side note: was any one else disappointed that Catelynn & Tyler did not start school when they were supposed to. I felt like the whole “oh we want to make sure we are taking classes that will count for our degree” thing was just an excuse. The first 2 yrs of college are general ed anyway, so they could have been working on that while getting help from the college guidance counselors on what classes they need for their degrees. But I digress…

    1. I agree. 🙁

      It really makes me wonder if they’ll continue on. They seem highly motivated because of the promise they made to Carly, but taking a break from school makes it so much harder to go back. I just hope they find the programs they want sooner than later.

  4. How about how many times can Gary threaten Amber that she won’t see her child again?

    Or Amber falling for a guy within a minute of meeting him?

  5. I’ll miss Amber’s dumbfounded, jaw gapping, spaced out look every time Gary tells her she can’t have Leah..of course this is always after Amber chooses not to spend time with her daughter then expects Gary to drop his plans with Leah for her.

  6. I’ll miss seeing Ryan’s beautiful face grace my tv screen every week. Thank the lawd he has a twitter so i can keep up with his sexy self!

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