We expect The Bachelorette to be cheesy, but this is just downright Velveeta! I’m embarrassed for everyone in this monstrosity!
We’ve watched the casts of past season go on cheesy group dates—from shooting action movie sequences to dressing up like Harlequin romance novel cover models–but new ‘Bachelorette’ star Desiree Hartsock and her flock of suitors stooped to a new low while filming the upcoming season (which premieres Monday, May 27, by the way!)
The gang teamed up with Soulja Boy to create a ‘Bachelorette’-themed rap video (as you do). In the painful clip, Desiree raps, “I was cryin’ in a limo, Sean sent me home and put my heart in a limbo,” all while her potential lovers dance around dressed up like Vanilla Ice and bust out the Cabbage Patch, the Tootsie Roll and whatever other God-forsaken dance white boys do.
Other cringe-worthy lyrics from Desiree’s rap video:
Getting all these guys really ain’t that easy
I’m lookin’ for a husband, not abs and a cheesy..smile!
And, of course, this painful lil’ ditty:
I’m here for love, not here for the drama
If you mess with me, you’re goin’ home to your mama!
Afterwards, the men proceed to chant “Right reasons! Right reasons!” (No, I’m seriously. This actually happens. I can’t make this crap up!)
Kudos to them, though, for making fun of past ‘Bachelorette’ douchebags, including Wes Hayden, who appeared on the show to promote his God-awful song “Love Don’t Come Easy”; and Justin “Rated R” Rego, who limped around in a leg cast to try to gain sympathy from the ‘Bachelorette,’ despite the fact that he had a girlfriend back home.
Even Chris Harrison gets into the act, sort of rapping at the end. I hope they paid Desiree extra to do this.