Tonight marks the end of yet another season of The Bachelor. This season has been full of bad farm puns, thanks to star Chris Soules‘ job as a farmer. The ladies featured this season were some of the most…interesting…to ever appear on the show, in that very few of them had fans “rooting” for them.
Chris will be deciding between fertility nurse Whitney or shy virgin Becca on tonight’s episode. To prepare for the finale, The Ashley took a look back at the most ridiculous moments from this season of ‘The Bachelor.’
Feel free to add your favorite ridiculous moment in the comments below!
2. When Kaitlyn told Chris he could “plow the f**k” out of her field any time.. within seconds of meeting him. (Episode 1)
Kaitlyn’s parents were certainly beaming with pride when their daughter made her TV debut by uttering these classy words. Ironically, Chris did end up “plowing her field” when he took Kaitlyn to the Fantasy Suites in Bali.
3. All the times Chris had to shower outside (Episodes 1-4)
Um…was there a reason that Chris was taking his showers outdoors in the beginning of the season? Did the fact that he’s a farmer somehow equal him being relegated to showering outside? It was never addressed as to why Chris couldn’t hose off indoors. While Britt never joined Chris in the shower (or any shower, for that matter), Jimmy Kimmel did hop in with him for a quick wash during Episode 3!
4. When the girls wore bikinis and raced tractors through the streets of LA. (Episode 2)
Is a description of why this was ridiculous even needed?! Not only did Chris and the gals parade through downtown LA in their bathing suits, but they then raced tractors and ended the date by sitting on hay bales. It’s hard to smile and look like you’re having fun when there’s a bunch of hay scratching up your butt and legs.
Poor Jill—all that Hot Yoga and TRX training obviously didn’t improve her balance. She made a fool of herself by slipping during the second rose ceremony. While this would be embarrassing enough, poor Jill suffered an even bigger humiliation because her big fall came two seconds after mistakenly stepping forward during the rose ceremony when she thought Chris called her name. (He actually called Juelia’s name.)
6. When Chris and Whitney showed viewers how much fun it was to crash a wedding. (Episode 3)
Although it’s been reported that the scene in which Chris and Whitney “crash” a random couple’s wedding was all set up, it was still ridiculous. Chris and Whit showed up uninvited, freeloaded off the wedding’s open bar and made a spectacle of themselves on the reception dance floor. It was low, even for ‘The Bachelor,’ because it kind of told viewers that it’s OK to pull this crap.
7. When The Widow Juelia ruined a pool party with a suicide story. (Episode 3)
Poor Juelia has had a rough life. Not only did she have to endure 20-some odd years with that horribly misspelled name, but she also had to deal with her first husband’s suicide. Strangely, Juelia chose to tell Chris about this tragic event right in the middle of a pool party. One minute Chris was splish-splashing with a girl on his shoulders, the next he’s holding a sobbing widow. It was ridiculously bad timing, and almost certainly a stunt orchestrated by the show’s producers.
8. When Jillian rambled on endlessly about working out–and having sex with homeless people– on her date with Chris. (Episode 4)
Jillian was hardly a “delicate flower” during her time on ‘The Bachelor.’ Obsessed with working out, wearing child-size Spandex shorts and talking about fitness, Jillian eventually won a date with Chris, and proceeded to use it to ramble on about her fitness routine. Chris wanted to talk about the future, but Jillian only wanted to chat about protein shakes, CrossFit and her Paleo diet…oh, and whether or not Chris should have sex with a random homeless person. Don’t ask…
9. When Ashley I. called Kelsey fake. (Episodes 4 & 6)
This is possibly one of the most obvious “Pot calling the kettle black” situations we’ve ever seen. Ashley I. called out her competitor, Kelsey, for being fake. However, Ashley did this while wearing fake hair extensions, ridiculous fake eyelashes, more makeup than a Kardashian getting ready to make a sex tape and a fake tan. (By the way, Ashley I. was also the woman who called out Jordan for not “acting like a lady.” Ashley did this an episode after she stripped her bikini off for Chris and all the other girls while at the lake. As you do.)
In the words of Alanis circa-1995, “Isn’t it ironic…dontcha think?”
10. When Megan was so confused about geography. (Episode 5)
The season peaked when makeup artist Megan (who wasn’t really good for anything during the season except the occasional dumb blond quote) expressed her excitement about traveling internationally. The only problem? She had just been told she was going to New Mexico. She told us how she was thrilled to be going to the “beach-like” town of Santa Fe because she had never been out of the country before. She even got her uneducated lil mitts on a sombrero for the occasion. #MeganForBachelorette
11. That time Chris ditched all of his other dates so he could go spend hours alone with Britt. (Episode 6)
Chris proved that farmer boys could be dicks too when, during a group date with five women, he stole Britt away for some alone time. While it’s common practice for Bachelors to take each girl aside for a private chat during group dates, Chris took it to the extreme. He took Britt to a freaking concert for two hours, leaving the other four girls just sitting in a bar trying to figure out where the hell their date went. Farmer Boy is lucky he didn’t end the night with four kicks to his crotch.
12. Kelsey’s entire “panic attack” (Episode 6)
After a few days and nights in South Dakota, things started to get a little boring. Let’s face it; nothing livens up an evening quite like a good roll-on-the-ground panic attack. From the wailing, to the gasping for air (in between requests to call for Chris) and joking about getting a rose, Kelsey’s attack made for one of the most ridiculous moments of the entire season.
13. Kaitlyn and Chris record a rap song…and we’re forced to listen to it. (Episode 8)
What is it with this show and bad rap songs? First we had to endure Desiree Hartsock’s horrific “Right Reasons” rap during her season, and now we have to listen to whitebread Chris and Kaitlyn massacre the art of rap with a song about all of their stupid dates. To listen to their horror-show of a rap song, click here!
14. When they didn’t tell us what was wrong with Ashley S. (Women Tell All)
Ashley S. was not your typical ‘Bachelor’ broad. From her “onion”-picking adventure, to her attempts to shoot some of the other girls during the zombie hunt date, there was obviously something very off about Ashley. She was not just a drunk, like several girls in the house; her strange behavior seemed to be caused by…something else. Was it mental illness? Was it drugs? Did she simply crack under the pressure of reality TV? We never found out what was behind Ashley S.’s odd actions. Even during the “Women Tell All” episode, it was never addressed. Ridiculous!
15. When Britt cried through the entire “Women Tell All” episode in a desperate attempt to get attention. (Women Tell All)
Britt clearly thought she had the gig of next ‘Bachelorette’ in the bag during the early part of the season. However, once she started to be edited as a “villain,” she quickly realized her chances of becoming Rose Queen were slipping away. This resulted in her desperately trying to get the cameras’ attention during the “Women Tell All” special. Britt not only blubbered through the entire thing (even when it made no sense to do so), but she also insisted on coming up on stage every chance she got, and giving weird, painfully long hugs to Chris to maximize her camera time. Girl, have a seat, you’re embarrassing yourself. You’ll just have to wait to be cast on ‘Bachelor in Paradise’ like everyone else.
Tonight’s three-hour finale is sure to contain a heap of ridiculous moments! Be sure to check back to read The Ashley’s recap of tonight’s events!