The Ashley generally refuses to write much in the way of Kardashian/Jenner news. However, she does make an exception from time to time and write about one of these Kardashian goons, when something is just too funny not to include.
It was recently reported that Kim Kardashian‘s ridiculous new book, Selfish, which is basically a collection of selfies of the vain Keeping Up with the Kardashian star, has flopped.
The Ashley will give you a moment to recover from the shock of finding that out.
The coffee table book was released in May, but to date has only sold about 32,000 copies, according to a rep for the book’s publishing company. (While 32,000 may sound like a lot of copies, Kim has over 41 million Instagram followers.)
To make matters worse, many of the people who are among those 32,000 who have actually shelled out money to buy this pile of garbage are not happy with their purchase, judging by the negative (yet hilarious) reviews left for Selfish on Amazon. An overwhelming percentage– 67 percent, to be exact— of people who purchased the book rated it at one-star, the lowest rating you can give on Amazon.
When Kim’s little sisters, Kylie and Kendall Jenner released their horrifically bad science fiction book, City of Indra, last year, The Ashley pulled the funniest reviews from Amazon and posted them here, so it’s only fair that she do the same for Kim’s “book.”
Here are 10 of The Ashley’s favorite bad reviews of Kim Kardashian’s Selfish book on Amazon.
1. “J. Cheever Loophole” wants everyone to enjoy how horrific Selfish truly is.
“They should perfume the pages so blind people can hate it, too.”
2. “Reed Hubbard” suggests a time-saving plan for those who want to “read” this book on the go.
“I can recommend the audio version of this book. It lasts 37 seconds. The narrator basically says, ‘On this page, we have an idiot and her cleavage looking into a camera,’ 500 times.”
3. “Brett B.” thinks that purchasing this book says a lot about you as a person.
“Anyone who purchases this book should have their name automatically added to the government watch list.”
4. “Syd Diggers” wins for most politically incorrect (yet funny) comment.
“Bill Cosby was given this book and he drugged himself rather than read it.”
5. “Harold Rey” suggests that we may all be getting tricked.
“I’m still waiting for Ashton Kutcher to come out and yell ‘You got punk’d !'”
6. “Aluva” posted a review that was rather ironic…don’t ya think?
“Dumpest thing ever.”
7. “Dee Dillon” is quite brave.
“I would rather watch an endless loop of Sarah McLaughlin/ASPCA commercials than look at this poor excuse of a human.”
8. “Ross T.” is a pretty funny guy.
“IMMA LET YALL FINISH….BUT….THIS IS THE WORST BOOK OF ALL TIME!!!!! (DROPS MIC)”
9. “Gail” seems to have a new-found aggression thanks to this book.
“KK Selfish makes me want to invent a time machine, so that I could travel back in time, and smack my 2nd grade teacher for turning me on to reading.”
10. “Michael Zemba” obviously hasn’t watched ‘Intervention’…or maybe he has…
“Literal and literally crap. Crystal Meth would be less toxic to your soul.”
If you are a true masochist and still want to order Kim’s book, you can do so with the link below.