It’s time for another episode of Teen Mom 2! While it will be nearly impossible for this episode to top the previous one– Nathan screaming “Jennnnnnnelle!” in the back of a police car is now permanently etched into The Ashley‘s brain– but let’s give it a shot.
The episode kicks off in South Dakota, where Chelsea and Cole are about to paint a room in Chelsea’s cabin. For some reason, the room has no windows and appears to have cinder block walls. Um…why does Chelsea have a jail cell in her home? Perhaps the judge just figured it would be easier for Chelsea to house Adam inside her home when he doesn’t pay child support, rather than have the state deal with him? She can just lock him in there for a few days and deprive him of protein shakes until he pays up. Maybe South Dee-ko-tah Mary can be the prison guard?
“Ya gotta stay in the cell for a few days, Adam, dontcha know?!”
Anyway, Cole and Chelsea discuss how Cole will soon be moving into her cabin. Aubree now considers Cole her second father, which doesn’t scare Cole. Their relationship seems to getting better every day.
Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for Jenelle‘s relationship with Nathan. As per usual, she’s had her booooyfriend arrested for domestic violence but Jenelle is still longing to be with him. Just because you’ve had your boyfriend carted off to jail is no reason to give up on the relationship!
It’s been a week since Nathan was hauled off to the clink, and he’s been texting Jenelle and begging for her to give him another chance. He claims he’s changed and will no longer try to rip jewelry off of any of her limbs.
Almost on cue, Jenelle’s rented pal Krista arrives (this time carrying random dogs) and starts peppering Jenelle with questions about where she and Nathan stand. Jenelle starts talking about herself in the third person, so we know she’s about to say something important.
She states that “no abuse happened” because, you know, he never kicked her down the stairs (a la Amber Portwood) and he hasn’t “physically” cheated on her. Apparently, ol’ Nate never slipped any other girls his wacky snake, so it’s A-OK with Jenelle. He does, of course, talk to other girls behind Jenelle’s back.
“I need to see a dramastic change, not hear you’re going to dramastically change,” she says.
Jenelle and Nathan: Stop trying to make ‘dramastic’ happen. It’s not going to happen. It’s just getting embarrassing.
Jenelle tells Krista that she doesn’t want Kaiser growing up in a broken home. It’s obviously much better for him to grow up in a house where Mommy and Daddy are wrestling each other on the toilet on the regular.
Meanwhile, Jo has purchased a home two blocks from Kail. Of course, this means that Kail and Javi are going to have to move out of the housing development. While Kail’s not thrilled about this, she’s happier in her relationship with Javi. There have been no fights about phone codes, concerts or Sterling’s mom in the last few weeks so things are going much better.
Finally, we check in with Leah, who is prepping to go to a treatment center that’s out of state to get help for her headache/backache/anxiety/depression/whatever medication dependency. Of course, Leah is still not admitting that she’s seeking treatment for a drug problem.
She meets up with Corey and Miranda to talk about them watching the twins while Leah’s in rehab. They seem to be foaming at the mouth in anticipation of Leah finally having to admit that she has a drug problem, but Leah refuses to admit it. In fact, she denies that she’s even going to rehab. She describes the treatment as “a therapy at a facility or something.”
Corey Tyler may look dumb, y’all, but he reckons to know what Leah really means.
“It’s not like a drug rehab or nuthin’ like that?” Corey asks in hopes that Leah will come clean (literally) and admit her problem.
Leah denies that she’s seeking treatment for a drug problem and the whole time Miranda is just sitting there looking like her damn head is about to explode. Seriously, someone in the crew must have had to give her a stick to bite on in between filming these scenes to prevent her from jumping across the table and pouncing on Leah.
Despite the fact that Leah keeps calling it a “therapy,” Miranda refuses to play Leah’s wordplay game and makes a point of calling it a rehab several times.
While Leah refuses to admit that she has a dependency problem, she does reveal to Corey that she and Jeremy are getting divorced. She tells Corey and Miranda that she’s confident that going to to
rehab treatment will make her a much better mom.
Corey and Miranda keep encouraging Leah to admit her problem, with Corey even going as far as telling her that the first step is admitting that she has a problem. Leah swears up and down to the Baby Jesus that she doesn’t have a drug problem, despite the fact that her pupils are as large as saucers in this scene.
Again, Corey Tyler ain’t no damn fool. He tells Leah that he knows gosh dern well that she has a drug problem and that Leah’s making up a problem to explain away her drug dependency issues. Leah is, of course, offended and things do not end well.
Back in South Dakota, it’s time for Chelsea and Cole to pick up their pet pig. They’re driving to the airport to meet up with their new pig pal, Pete. Chelsea is worried that Cole will leave her (and their pig) like Adam did, but Cole assures her that he’s in this pig-raising business for the long haul.
The pig arrives via pet carrier (#ChelseasNewBabe) and she’s overwhelmed with emotion. The pig is squealing louder than Leah during a romp with Robbie Kidd, but Chelsea is so happy she doesn’t notice. They get him loaded into the car and take a few selfies with their new baby.
Later, Aubree comes home to meet Pete. They’ve put the pig in Adam’s freshly painted jail room, and Aubree excitedly runs to go see him. Mary hopes that getting the pig will keep Chelsea’s ovaries at bay and help her resist having another baby any time soon.
In Carolina, Jenelle is trying to find the time in between the boyfriend arrests and Krista visits to go fight Babs for custody of
Jack Jace. She heads to the office of one of her many lawyers to talk about her upcoming mediation with her mother over custody. Jenelle wants Jace during the week, but the lawyer thinks it’s going to be hard for her to get that, what with all the ring pullin’ and cop callin’ going on at Jenelle’s madhouse.
Unfortunately, the lawyer was planning to use Jenelle and Nathan’s “stable relationship” (LOL’zzzz) as one of his arguing points for Jenelle getting custody.
MTV really should put up the hashtag “#LawyerOfTheYear” in this scene. The fact that this dude kept a straight face while talking about how stable Jenelle is really should earn him some sort of award.
The lawyer says that Jenelle may have to choose between being with Nathan and getting custody of Jace. A per usual, the threat of losing Jace isn’t enough to keep Jenelle from her man. She’s still talking to Nathan and hoping to make it work.
Barb (and Jenelle’s never-before-seen-on-camera brother Collin) arrive with Jace to Jenelle’s madhouse. Barbara wants Jenelle to know that, even though they are battling for custody, she is still there for her.
“I told Nathan that if he hurt my daughta he’s gonna answer ta me!” Barb declares. “I don’t play!”
Jenelle downplays the incident, stating that Nathan “only” wrestled her for the ring, no biggie. Barb sees that Jenelle is trying to defend Nathan, so she tells her that she, too, was in an abusive relationship. Babs gives us insight into her hard life with who we can assume was Jenelle’s dad. Babs says she stayed with him and got hit for years in order to establish good credit and make a better life for her kids.
“I just don’t want to see anotha guy drag ya down, Juh-nelle!” Babs tells her, adding that her being with Nathan will be a problem when they go to court to fight for custody of Jace.
Jenelle seems unmoved by Babs’ story, however.
In Delaware, Javi is literally scooting down the street to Jo’s new house. (Perhaps the Benz is still in the shop after they hit that board in the road?) Jo (dressed in a Wu-Tang shirt because apparently it’s 1997) and his brother Junior (who is wearing an equally amusing T-shirt that says “High on Life”) greet Javi at the door and show him around Jo’s new digs.
After they finish moving in Jo’s stuff, Javi heads back home on the scooter. He and Kail discuss how nice it is for them not to have to drive all the way to New Jersey to drop off Isaac. Of course, Kail wants boundaries, meaning that Jo and Vee can’t come bopping over to their house whenever they want.
A few days later, Kail and Javi visit Jo’s house, and Kail goes home to give Sterling an update on things. Kail is worried that Jo will ask for more custody now that he lives so close to them.
In West Virginia, Leah is holding her brother Isaac‘s new baby. Of course, that’s no reason for her to have to stay awake! She’s literally nodding off in the middle of her conversation while holding the infant. Again, she chalks it up to her stress.
This is just getting sad. Her brother doesn’t say anything, and acts like it’s perfectly normal for someone to literally be about to pass out while holding his kid. The baby seems blissfully unaware that the woman that’s holding her is seconds from crashing face-first through the glass coffee table. Finally, someone steps in to take the baby but not before Leah mumbles something about her anxiety.
Meanwhile, Corey and Miranda talk about how Leah is clearly in denial of her drug problem.
“If she doesn’t have a drug problem, is she going to therapy to learn to clean the house?” he asks.
Oooh, zinger! That may have been the most witty thing Corey’s ever said on this show.
The fact that Leah came to their meeting the night before “totally out of her damn mind” and was slurring her words was not lost on Corey and Miranda.
Meanwhile, Leah explains to the girls that she has to go away for a little while, but the girls seem unconcerned. (Surely they already know that their midnight ravioli feedings will be unchanged.) Leah randomly tells the girls that she’s “gonna have to keep the boys off of y’all” when they get to high school. “Why?” Aleeah asks.
Dear Lord. Good luck, Corey Tyler! You’re gonna need it!
Later, Leah sits down with Momma Dawn to talk about how Leah has to leave those babies for a month. Dawn is more concerned that people will think Leah’s on drugs, but, of course, she ain’t!
UM?!?!?!! Please refer to the previous scene, Dawn!
Leah defends her drug use, stating that them ther doctors done gave her pillses at the hospital after she birthed Addie, and she kept taking the meds until she started to get dependent on them and then she stopped.
Dawn, ever the enabler (and user of the wrong verb) declares that if “You was on drugs” she’d call up that dern Corey herself and report it!
Again…LOLzzzzzz, Dawn. Good one!
Leah admits that she’s in desperate need of help and hopes that she can come home from rehab a changed woman.
The next day, Leah’s house is full of hustle and bustle. Divorce papers are being picked up, kids are running amok and Leah’s heading off to the ‘hab. She takes her suitcase toward the door, but everything falls out.
“Leah, it’s not zipped, baby!” her mom tells her.
Pretty sure that’s what ol’ Corey Tyler told Leah the night the twins were conceived.
Anyway, Leah’s signing her divorce papers as she’s driving to rehab. You know your life is in the toilet when you have to do that.
They arrive at the airport and Leah bids the twins farewell. She heads to catch her flight and the scene ends. (MTV didn’t tell you that Leah didn’t exactly make it to rehab that time. Click here to find out what really happened. Scroll toward the bottom of the post.)
Over in Carolina, Nathan has changed his mind about getting back with Jenelle and texted her to let her know that he “wants to see other people.” Jenelle is devastated, of course, because now she will have to toilet-wrestle with Krista.
“I’ve tried everything to get him back!” Jenelle declares.
Krista seems to have a hard time listening to Jenelle be so pathetic. But, hey, she gets a free sushi dinner if she listens to Jenelle blubber about this douche-nozzle.
Jenelle ends the scene by sobbing in her car, squealing that she only wants Nathan and doesn’t want to date any other douche-nozzle.
To read The Ashley’s recap of the previous episode of ‘Teen Mom 2,’ click here!