By Holly Rasmussen
It’s time to head back over to the Brown family cul-de-sac for an hour of the Kody and Robyn Show, otherwise known as Sister Wives. Last episode, the judge ruled that Kody could legally adopt Robyn’s three kids from her previous marriage, so the Browns are still riding high from that.
In a surprising twist, DaytonAuroraandBreanna are going to Montana to see their biological father, David Preston Jessop. It’s impressive that the Browns are still facilitating this relationship even though they don’t legally have to. (They are, however, very careful to only refer to David as the kids’ “biological dad” now, instead of just their “dad.”)
The kids are excited, but nervous. They haven’t actually spent any time with their father in two years. When they return to Las Vegas, the Brown family will be throwing a party for them to celebrate their adoption.
When Kody and the wives sit down to start planning the party, Robyn immediately starts getting feisty with Kody. When he suggests they have chicken wings at the party, Robyn basically freaks out.
“No! You said you wanted something nice! Chicken wings don’t fit with that,” she says. “You told me you wanted this dinner to be nice!”
Kody gets mad and tells her to “ease up.”
Yes, these people are fighting over chicken wings and, yes, we are actually watching them do it.
Janelle and the other wives are shocked that Robyn is openly defying Kody.
“I’ve never seen you be so openly mouthy to Kody,” Janelle says while “the others” cheer her on as she berates Kody over the chicken wing debate.
In a rare moment of actually being engaged, Meri comes to Robyn’s defense.
“I’ve known this guy named Kody Brown for many, many years and you know what he does?” asks Meri. “He just changes his mind whenever he feels like it and flies by the seat of his pants and just does whatever he likes.”
Watch out, Kody, The sister wives are uniting to put you in your place.
Kody, ever classy, tells everyone to “get their panties out of a bunch.”
The mental image of the sister wives’ panties has now entered all of our brains. Thanks, Kody.
Later, Kody and Robyn go through baby pictures of her their kids for the party and Robyn gets a bright idea. She’s going to hire an artist to draw a picture of the kids when they were babies…with Kody holding them to make it look as if he’s been there all along.
Wait…what? So essentially Robyn is just cutting out their biological father and replacing him with Kody’s cheesy, smiling mug? It’s as if she’s trying to pretend that their real dad never even existed. That is weird, Robyn. It’s really weird. Does anyone else find this incredibly creepy?
Sweet Janelle goes to the bakery and has a custom cake made in the shape of a tree to represent all of the branches of the family. She’s the best one in this family. She rarely participates in any of the family hi-jinks, but she’s making an attempt to be involved in this party.
Kody decides to make plaques made for each of the newly adopted kids. The plaques will feature a pic of the kids as babies, one of him with them (of course), and one of the whole family.
“This is the acknowledgement that I am their father,” Kody says.
Naturally, Kody makes sure to stress that he doesn’t care how much it costs, and that he wants it to look very expensive. Unfortunately, they end up looking like one of those plaques that Little League teams give their sponsors at the end of the season. All it needs is a little bronze figure of Kody sticking out from it.
Desperate to stay relevant to this episode, Christine has cement laid in her backyard so that all of the kids can put their handprints in it. Of course, it’s complete mayhem with kids running around and Kody yelling at everyone.
Meri is enlisted to write the kids’ names next to their handprint, but she seems to be trying hard to resist writing “F**k You Kody!” in the wet cement.
The day of the party, DaytonAuroraandBreanna wrap gifts for Meri and Kody. They get Meri a necklace with three diamonds that represent themselves.
“It’s kind of a thank-you for what she did,” Aurora said. “She did the divorce so we could be adopted.” They get Kody a watch with “Daddy” and the date of the adoption etched onto it.
At the party, Kody, of course, makes it all about himself by giving a grandiose speech where he cries. He goes through the ritual of blessing all three of the children by having some family members put their hands on the kids’ heads.
“I really want to place a spiritual or religious seal on it,” Kody says. “They should feel special because I find them special.”
In case you somehow missed the message, everything in this family is about Kody.
Next, Robyn reveals her creepy picture to Kody. It features a younger Kody with all three kids when they were infants and toddlers.
“I created a moment that didn’t exist until now,” Robyn says. It’s obvious that she’s quite proud of herself for being so darn clever to come up with this.
Next, the kids present their gifts to Meri and Kody. Meri tries her best to act like she’s at all interested in anything going on at the party, but she can barely muster a smile. Kody, meanwhile, makes sure to stress how expensive and high-quality the watch that the kids got him is. WTF?
On the next episode, Robyn and Kody find out the gender of their baby and the whole family takes a vacation to Alaska. Meri also cryptically tells the family she’s “struggling with stuff.” Uh-oh, it sounds like they’re finally going to discuss Meri’s catfish catastrophe on the show!
To read a recap of last week’s episode of ‘Sister Wives,’ click here!
(Photos: TLC, Twitter)