Another week, another episode of Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars. Last week’s episode was full of bombshells—when we left off, Sugar Bear had just admitted to Mama June that he’s had sex with men in the past, and Benzino was threatening to call the cops on Althea after she hit him during a fight.
Oh yeah, we also learned last week that Althea is pregnant. Who could forget Benzino screaming, “You’re going to jail! You and your baby!” to Althea after she hit him?
Before we can get to the pregnant woman jailing, though, we have to listen to the house’s “perfect” couple, Sean and Catherine, weigh in on the Althea/Benzino fight.
“Under no circumstances would Catherine and I fight like that,” Sean says. “I would never disrespect her like that in front of anyone.”
Oh, okay, Sean. That’s all well and good but…why are you on this show? Unless you guys start throwing chairs at each other or something…you’re just not that interesting.
The next morning at breakfast, Ink is starting trouble by making comments about everyone’s crappy relationships. (In his defense, isn’t that the whole point of this show?)
Cedric finds out that his girl Sundy had previously dated their housemate, Benzino, and he’s not happy about it. Sundy says that she and Benzino never slept together, but Benzino tells a different story. Ink, desperate to stay relevant, is instigating everything by going to tell Sundy that Cedric is saying they slept together.
Meanwhile, the counselors call all of the couples into the common room, but Sundy and Benzino are missing. They’re outside arguing about whether they had sex or not.
The counselors make the couples do this really creepy exercise where the couples hold puppets of themselves in a bed and act out their “intimacy” …. with the counselors watching.
Seriously…what the hell are we watching?! This is low…even for us!
During the counseling session, Sundy admits that she cheated on Cedric and now he can’t trust her so they’re not intimate. Hence, there was no puppet sex during their part.
Benzino and Althea get into an argument during their creepy doll session (of course) and start threatening to leave (of course).
During Sean and Catherine’s segment, we learn they waited until they were married to have sex. This is, of course, not news to Bachelor fans. Who could forget the infamous “honeymoon room cam” shots that took place during Sean and Cat’s wedding special? The producers would creepily flash the camera to the bed in the couple’s honeymoon suite in between wedding scenes, all while a countdown timer hovered in the corner to show us how much time was left before the bed would be used for the first time.
Of course, sex within wedlock doesn’t make for interesting TV…or puppet sex sessions.
“Catherine and Sean are f**king boring,” Ink says.
Benzino now says he doesn’t remember if he had sex with Sundy but he knows they did something.
“I can’t even fathom that you would have sex with that many women that you wouldn’t remember whether or not you had sex with Sundy,” Althea says.
When Sundy admits that she and Benzino did sleep in the same bed together, Cedric gets mad and tells her “You’re not my woman!”
Um, didn’t she have a baby by another dude (while you were married) a few years ago? But the fact that she slept in the same bed with Benzino 15 years ago is what crosses the line with you, Cedric? Okay.
They bring Judge Lynn from Divorce Court in to tell the couples what’s wrong with them. Basically, she tells them they all suck.
Um…tear out the front page! We didn’t need an expert to tell us that, lady!
She scolds Sean for not “booming” when Catherine was fighting with Ink earlier in the day, and Sean looks stunned that anyone would have anything bad to say about him and his perfect marriage.
We close out with Althea threatening to leave…again. Maybe next week they’ll bring in Sugar Bear’s gay lover to spice this thing up!
To read a recap of the previous ‘Marriage Boot Camp’ episode, click here!