It’s time to head back to the Brown family Cul De Sac (otherwise known as Castle de King Solomon) to check on The King, Kody, Robyn, and the newest Brown baby, “Baby Sister.” Oh…and all the rest of the people that live in the family whose names escape us for the moment…
On last week’s episode of Sister Wives, Robyn gave birth to Kody’s 18th child, and we viewers got to watch every huff, puff and loin push. The baby eventually freed itself from Robyn’s womb, and was named (by Kody, of course) Ariella.
This episode starts one month after the birth of Areola Ariella. Kody tells us how “intense” the labor was, trying to make it seem like he was the one birthing that baby. The baby is doing well, and is beloved by all of the family, even the older kids who used to groan any time another baby was brought into the already-crowded family.
After Kody “treats” us to a terrifying segment in which he imitates the faces that baby Ariella makes, we find out that the family is getting ready for their Spring Break vacation and, this year, there will be about 26 people going to Hawaii on TLC’s dime! (The network must have given the Browns a bonus or something for upping the scandal game over the last few seasons. Last year they went to Alaska and this year they’re heading to Hawaii! Looks like the only way to escape the RV From Hell is to have a wife pop out a baby and/or cyber sex a man/woman.
Before Kody & Crew hit the beaches of Hawaii, though, Meri and Janelle are heading to therapy to work on hating each other a little less. They make it seem like they haven’t had a therapy session since Thanksgiving, which, if true, is kind of ridiculous, considering this episode was filmed in February.
Anyway, Meri and Janelle talk about how they worked together to decorate tin cans for the Thanksgiving tables. Although they were determined to work together, they kind of fell back in to their old patterns of Meri leading and Janelle following. Janelle said this is very indicative of their relationship.
“Over all the years we misunderstood each other. I thought she was taking over and she thought I wasn’t doing anything,” Janelle said.
“I hate it when she shuts down and she hates it when I’m direct,” Meri said.
Janelle (aka the producers) gets the idea of her and Meri doing an activity together while the family is in Hawaii. Meri kind of mocks the idea but will likely go along with it because…well, paycheck…
Later, Kody and Meri discuss how awkward their marriage has become, thanks to Meri’s Great Catfishing Caper. They both obviously dislike each other but are doing their best to make it look like they at least tolerate one another.
“We are just trying to wade through a situation that is unknown to us,” Kody says.
Robyn jumps in to talk about how concerned she is about Meri and Kody’s marriage.
“I just constantly pray that the two of them will figure some things out,” she says.
Sure you do, Robyn. Sure you do.
Later that night, everyone is frantically packing for Hawaii and Meri decides she needs all of the adults at her house RIGHT NOW for a big announcement. She’s also invited her daughter, Mariah, to the announcement and Mariah has agreed to come. However, she spends most of the time texting, most likely talking crap on her mom to her sisters.
Anyway, as the adults gather you can see a mix of apprehension and aggravation on their faces. Christine, Robyn and Janelle are stressed, since they each have to pack for themselves and help their kids. They are clearly not amused that Meri has chosen to make a grand announcement during the time that they had planned to stuff their undershirts and muumuus and whatnot into suitcases.
Kody says he has no idea what’s going on. (I mean…isn’t that every episode though?)
The gang isn’t sure if Meri is going to announce that she is leaving to run away with the woman she believed to be her dreamboat man, or if she is planning to buy bunk beds and move into Mariah’s house in Utah against her daughter’s will. It’s Meri, so it really could be anything…
It turns out to be a happy surprise. Meri wants to present Kody and the wives with the paintings she’s made for them. The paintings follow the theme of 23 trees, which represent the 23 members of the family. All of the wives are touched by the paintings, but, as per usual, Kody is awkward and says he’s still in the process of appreciating it. Um…
Meri is disappointed that the paintings didn’t “move” Mariah. She’s busy hate-texting when Meri asks her what she thinks of the paintings.
“Oh yeah, real great, mom,” she utters, barely looking up from her phone.
Meri apparently thought Mariah would see the paintings, realize how wonderful her mom is and throw her arms around her, forgiving her for the Catfish Caper. That didn’t happen, of course, but maybe giving that brat a free trip to Hawaii will help move the forgiveness along.
Meri says she wants everyone to know that she really wants to be in the family…but neither the family nor the viewers at home are believing it. We all pretty much know it’s only because that’s essentially Meri’s only option at this point.
The next day the Browns load up into two shuttle vans and leave for Hawaii. Logan (who is one of the only normal people in this family) is bringing his girlfriend Michelle on the trip. They say they want to relax and drink Mai Tais on the beach, but we know Kody will be making them do some annoying family activities. We expect to see him standing on one of those long Hawaiian canoes, “supervising” as his family rows like the slaves in “Ben Hur.”
Once the family arrives in Hawaii, the older “couples” are eager to ditch the Brady Bunch and head out for a double date. Logan and Michelle, along with Maddie and Caleb, head out drinks. While out, Michelle and Logan talk about how they want to move in together and get engaged. We spend a few minutes listening to everyone talk about how great Logan and Michelle are together. It’s so obvious that TLC is gearing up for another wedding special.
Maddie and Caleb start talking about their upcoming wedding. Caleb says it’s a tradition in his family that all of the men have to wear one piece of camo in their wedding. As you do. He will be donning camo socks.
Maddie also says that she plans to ask Kody to officiate the ceremony. She says she’s not sure if Kody will agree to do it.
Seriously? You lived with this man for like 19 years! You should know that he’s a great big ol’ ham and will LOVE doing this. Any chance to be in the spotlight, he will take it! Hell, he even tried to shove Robyn over and take credit for the delivery of “Baby Sister!”
Next week, we see Kody boss everyone around on the vacation, and Mykelti and Christine come to blows over Mykelti’s pawn shop future.
To read our recap of the previous episode of ‘Sister Wives,’ click here!