Well, gang, we’ve made it to the end of Teenage Newlyweds! We’ve watched as these youngsters got married, moved in together, had horrible birthday parties and fought over who’s going to do the dishes. It’s time for the season finale!
When we last saw the Newlyweds, Emma was being accused by her husband Joey of being a (and we quote) “naggy nagster.” George was unsure how to handle his wife Halie‘s constant longing for her family , and Brenda and Travis were still fighting over an abortion that Brenda never even had! It looks like not much has changed this week.
In California, Travis and his pro-choice wife drive through a pro-life rally at Planned Parenthood. (Of course, this wasn’t set up by the show’s producers or anything…Nooo way!) Travis tells his wife that he thinks women should be prosecuted for having abortions. Brenda staunchly disagrees, but Travis insists that their punishment should at least be more than what they’d get for a parking ticket.
At the rally, they encounter graphic posters of aborted fetuses. Brenda is not swayed by Travis’ fear-mongering. Afterward, he reassures her, “I still love you.” Oh okay, Trav.
While they’re in the car at the rally, some random protesters come up and start taking pictures of them. We’re not really sure what the hell is going on here. Are the protesters taking photos because they think that Brenda is about to have abortion? Or are the protesters part of the two dozen people who actually watch this show, and they’re fans of Brenda and Travis?
Over in Oregon, Emma wants to go to marriage counseling, but Joey doesn’t. It doesn’t sound like fun to him; besides, he’s too busy working at the Feed ‘n’ Seed and buying double cheeseburgers at McDonald’s. He says that he doesn’t want a random stranger telling him how big of a lump ‘o’ uselessness he is.
Emma wants to talk about her parents confronting Joey about his lack of effort in the marriage, but Joey just says that Emma’s mom is “always naggy” at him.
That’s the way to your mother-in-law’s heart, Joe! Call her a nag on national TV!
Over in Utah, it’s time for Halie to say goodbye to her family, who had been visiting her in Utah. After the family leaves, Halie’s more upset than ever. She may be regretting her decision to get married and move far away from her family.
Halie calls her parents once they get home and they tell her that it’s normal for her to be distraught, given that she went from a high schooler living at home to a married woman living far from her family in a short amount of time.
Meanwhile, George is complaining to his dad about Halie. He says Halie wants to move back to her hometown because she misses her family. George’s fedora-wearing dad throws down some life advice.
“We live in a world of convenience and it’s easy for people to quit and say they’re done with this. But when you marry, it’s a commitment to one another that this is not going to end,” he says.
Back in Utah, Joey takes his parents out to a sketchy pub to talk about life. As you do.
Joey’s decision to take his parents to the bar becomes even more questionable when we learn that his dad is a recovering alcohol. (Maybe he’s just there for the creepy-looking soup Joey was eating the last time he and his friends went to this place?)
Joey tells his parents about the little talk he had with Emma and her parents recently. They encourage Joey to consider doing the counseling that Emma is suggesting. They tells Joey that counseling saved their own marriage at one point.
We find out that Joey’s parents had their own marital issues due to Joey’s dad’s drinking. When Joey was a teenager, his dad passed out drunk while driving and hit another car head-on. No one was killed but the accident and the drinking did a number on the parents’ marriage. They separated for about a year, but eventually reconciled. Joey seems to be taking his parents’ advice to heart.
Over in California, Brenda gets Travis back for making her go to an anti-abortion relay. She takes Travis to meet with a pro-choice minister. Is that all these two have to talk about? Is this going to be their whole storyline? We get it, already.
They listen to the minister, who tells stories about women dying from self-inflicted abortions and whatnot, but Travis’s mind is not changed. Travis tries to tell the minister that he believes life begins at conception, but he seems to be fuzzy on the details of how conception actually happens. Instead of talking about sperm frizzling an egg, he says something vague about “the two cells coming together”…or something.
Later, Brenda and Travis go and see their therapist to talk more about the abortion issue. Oh my god, again?!
Travis feels uncomfortable because he thinks Brenda thinks having an abortion is “totally cool” or something. Brenda denies that she thinks abortion is “cool” and states that she was only OK with having one if she had been pregnant because they are basically broke and would have to try to cram Top Ramen into their baby’s bottle in order to feed it.
Eventually, Travis tells Brenda that he is, of course, still staunchly pro-life but good news…he won’t leave her if she one day has an abortion. Phew.
Back in Utah, Halie is still being a sad sack, so George decides to cheer her up by taking her to see his grandparents.
The best part of this episode is getting to meet George’s adorable grandparents, Bert and Janet. George’s grandpa said it was love at first sight when he met his bride of 65 years.
“You are the love of my life,” he tells her as they adorably hold hands. They offer George and Halie some good advice about sticking to their marriage.
Aww, Bert and Janet! We couldn’t love ya more!
All of a sudden, the doorbell rings. Grandma asks Halie to get the door. At the door, is Halie’s baby niece. George has arranged for Halie’s family to come to surprise her. Halie is thrilled.
How sweet is this guy?! He is really trying here. Joey should be taking notes!
“Oh my heck! What the heck?!” Halie exclaims.
Halie’s parents surprise everyone by saying they are seriously considering moving to Utah to be close to her. Even Halie’s older sister and her husband are considering making the move. Okay, this is weird. The whole family is relocating to be near Halie?
Over in Oregon, Joey goes home to tell Emma that he has decided that he will go to counseling with her. He reassures Emma that, even though she’s a “Naggy Naggster” he loves her.
The season ends with one final montage of the couples hugging and talking about their marriages. George’s dad leaves us with some final words of wisdom.
“To the people who think that they’re too young to be married, I would say…it’s their story to write.”
That’s it for Season 1! FYI has yet to let us know if they will continue following the Season 1 couples, or if we will meet new couples if the show is renewed for another season.
To read our recaps of the previous episodes of ‘Teenage Newlyweds,’ click here!