The Ashley can hardly believe that she’s about to start recapping yet another season of Teen Mom 2! With each new season of the show comes certain things: new fabulously-awkward-on-camera “friends” of the girls who will undoubtedly make The Ashley giggle with delight; new canned-ravioli-fueled meltdowns a la Leah Messer and, of course, at least one to two new “soulmates” for Jenelle. Since Teen Mom OG is over for the season, it’s that time of year where we must trade seeing Butch in order to watch Barbara. (It’s essentially “Sophie’s Choice” for The Ashley!)
This season, the producers of this crap-bag have decided to spice things up by plowing through the “fourth wall” like Nathan on a steroid binge. We will no longer be pretending that the girls aren’t famous reality TV stars, and the producers will no longer have to hide their faces in the shadows while Jenelle beats her friend within an inch of her life with a drumstick. Now, they can be part of the fun too!
And, since it is the 105th season of this show, the producers finally decided to spruce up the intro graphics. The intro now looks like one of those weird “put your pictures into a book” things that Facebook is always trying to get you to sign up for.
Let’s get started! This intro is starting to become longer than Jenelle’s rap sheet!
We get a quick recap of last season: Jenelle’s going to court and has a new forever love, Leah’s battling Corey for custody, Kail is fighting with her boo and Chelsea is over-drawing her eyebrows and dealing with Adam. It’s the same crap that’s been happening since 2011 essentially, only now it’s happening in giant houses instead of ratty apartments and double-wides. #ThanksMTV
We start things off with Kail, who says she’s “more confused than ever” about where her marriage to Javi stands. We get to see some behind-the-scenes footage of Kail crying after filming a reunion scene last season with Javi, and then it’s time to head on down to a sky-diving center so Kail can throw all her cares aside (not to mention herself out of a plane).
“This is a quarter-life crisis!” Kail says, explaining why she’s going sky diving.
The instructor gives Kail some directions for when they get in the air.
“Legs back, legs up,” he tells her. “That’s your only job for today. Got it?”
Um…duh, dude. That shouldn’t be a problem. After all, this is Teen Mom. Doing that is what got these girls famous!
Kail zips herself into a sky-diving suit and explains that this is her way of dealing with the drama in her life. Apparently plummeting face-first toward the ground from 12,000 in the air is a stress reliever? Who knew? Perhaps this is just Kail’s unique way of getting HIGH! HIGH! At least this avenue for getting “high” doesn’t involve a disrespectful dude in a moldy sweatshirt, so there’s that…
(We miss ya Kieffa!)
Kail takes off into the sky and soon is heaved out of the side of the plane and into the universe.
I’m gonna take a moment to recognize the dedication that these ‘Teen Mom 2’ camera guys have for their jobs. The cameraman is legit hanging off the side of the plane, Superman-style, to capture the shot of Kail jumping. He’s probably just hoping that the next girl who wants to do “something crazy” to help her get through a divorce doesn’t decide to take up space travel or something.
Kail is zooming through the sky like some sort of C-list Superman, and soon she is floating down to the ground. She says it’s the most incredible thing she’s ever done. (I guess sex with Jo pales in comparison to sky diving.)
Next we check in with Chelsea and Adam. Producer Mandy is heading over to Adam’s house to see if South Dakota’s favorite “Swolemate” is ready to film, but she gets no answer when she knocks on his door. Adam’s Meathead Mobiles are in the driveway, and his garage is open, but Adam is nowhere to be found.
Finally, he sends her a text to let her know that he’s can’t film right now because he’s very busy.
“Need time,” he writes. “Napping.”
Who cares if MTV has trekked at least three crew members out to the middle of nowhere to film Adam and his back-from-the-dead friends talking crap on Chelsea? Adam needs his rest!
Producer Mandy is over Adam’s antics, and just starts beating on the door and screaming Adam’s name, Fred-Flintstone-style. He doesn’t surface, but when she gets him on the phone, Adam starts cussing her out for interrupting his beauty sleep. The crew is forced to sit in vans outside Adam’s house until he’s “ready” to film.
W..T..F… Where’s Jenelle with that drumstick when you need her!?
He finally lets them in about an hour later. He’s awake from his nap, but he’s hardly bright-eyed and bushy tailed from his rest. He tells the producers he doesn’t want to film for the show. (Unfortunately, though, it seems that Adam has already cashed those MTV checks so he kind of has to.)
Adam sits down with Producer Mandy and tells her that he’s sore that MTV wasn’t there to film the one time he actually went somewhere with Aubree. The producer says she doesn’t keep track of everyone’s schedule and that it’s his responsibility to let her know if he’s going to be spending “quality time” with his daughter.
He’s mad that they filmed the night where Adam missed Aubree’s father/daughter dance. He does not, however, say why he missed the dance. (Perhaps he was napping?)
He claims that Chelsea should be telling the producers when he actually shows up for his daughter’s events, and the producer just looks confused. She also looks like she’s tired of dealing with this protein-shake-filled jack-off with an attitude.
Speaking of jack-offs with attitudes, it’s now time to see what Jenelle has been up to since we last saw her. Shockingly, she’s still with David, the same soulmate she had last season, and not much has changed. Both of them are still jobless, of course, and Jenelle is still fighting The Battle of the Barb in order to get custody of Jace. The only thing that is different from Season 7A is that Jenelle found some eyebrows.
As per usual, Jenelle has a court date coming up. This time, she is facing the charges she incurred when she threw a mason jar full of water at the head of the girlfriend of her ex-fiance, Nathan. (As you do).
Jenelle’s semi-normal pal Jamie has surfaced and is back for another season of filming. For the occasion, Jamie has secured a pair of Black Fly sunglasses presumably from 1998 and is sitting next to Jenelle looking both sad and confused that this has somehow become her life.
Jenelle tells Jamie that she’s nervous that the judge is going to throw the book at her over the assault charges.
“If I’m found guilty, it could affect my career when I’m older,” Jenelle says.
When she’s “older?” Um…girl, you’re already like 25. Why is Jenelle acting like she’s still 16? By her age, a lot of people have their Bachelor’s degree and are a year or so into working their first “real” job. Jenelle is still throwing glassware at people’s heads and crying about crap that happens on Twitter.
Jesus God (Leah).
Jenelle says she is facing up to 30 days in jail, and that her getting thrown in the slammer “wouldn’t look good” during her custody battles for Jace and Kaiser.
Of course, according to Jenelle, this whole thing is the fault of Nathan’s girlfriend, Jessica, who is pressing the charges.
“She would send a mother to jail!” Jenelle cries of that mean ol’ Jessica.
The next day is Jenelle’s court date. We know that Jenelle means business because she’s wearing her glasses. Spectacles mean seriousness on this show. She’s all suited up in a polyester blazer set, looking like she’s ready to manage a Saturday night at the Outback steakhouse. She’s even wearing her “more classier” white high heels!
(I really think Jenelle is missing an opportunity by not putting out a line of “ready-for-court” clothing. Over the years, she’s had to pick dozens of judge-facing outfits! A court-wear clothing line could be a goldmine! She could get it into all the “more classier” stores like K-Mart and Walmart. Move over, Jaclyn Smith! Here comes Jenelle!)
On the drive over, Jenelle tells David that she wants to get a restraining order against Jessica so she “can’t pull charges on me again for no f**king reason.”
This is what our tax money is being spent on, folks. If Jenelle could just refrain from chucking glassware at people, no one would have to fill out all that legal paperwork to deal with this crap.
Of course, David (aka Lurch) agrees that Jenelle needs a restraining order. Jenelle thanks him for being with her on such a hard day.
“Of course,” he says. “I wouldn’t miss it for anything!”
I mean, what else is he gonna do with his time? They don’t show those “American Gladiators” re-runs until 4, so he’s got some time to kill.
They arrive at the courthouse in Horry County (which, by the way will never not be funny) and the reality TV gods are truly shining on us today. We are being allowed rare access into the courtroom. Not since Butch was thrown in the slammer after a court hearing during a ‘Teen Mom’ (no OG) episode have we really been allowed in on all the legal action!
Nathan and his girlfriend Jessica arrive at the courthouse. Nathan’s got his manbun all dressed up for the occasion, and poor Jessica appears to be trying to hide the dent in her head that was surely caused by Jenelle’s game of throw-a-mug with a hideous wig-like hairdo.
Soon, everyone is in the courtroom before a judge. The judge looks like a no-nonsense woman who ain’t got time for all the drama that these muppets are bringing to her courtroom. I hope she’s as sassy as she looks!
Jenelle looks genuinely scared that she may get thrown in the slammer. She has her trusty South Carolina lawyer, Amy, next to her. (Somewhere in North Carolina, Jenelle’s other lawyer, Dustin, is breathing a sigh of relief that this trash-trophe occurred across state lines so it’s Amy’s problem instead of his.)
We’ll have to wait to see what happens in court, because now it’s time to check in with Leah. Things are still crazy in her house, what with three young daughters, about five creepy realistic dolls and an assortment of critters scattered everywhere.
Leah is trying to wrangle her herd into the Trashmobile (which thankfully has been cleaned out since last season. She must have called the team from Hoarders out there in the off-season.) The twins have a softball game and Leah is ding-dang determined not to be late to the game. She’s freaking out over the stress, and is fumbling things as she tries to get out the door.
Leah gets the twins into the car (along with about five baby dolls who are strapped into a carseat better than Leah has ever strapped her own kids in). She’s ready to drive away but– dang-gammit!– she ain’t got no keys! Leah starts to freak out, wondering what trash pile her car keys may be under. During this time, the twins decide to start beating the living pulp out of each other in the backseat.
Leah is not amused by the kiddie kungfu match happening in her backseat. She demands that the twins shut their traps and tell her where those ding-dang keys are. The girls keep telling on each other, and suddenly Leah turns into the girl from the Exorcist, yelling in a deep growl, “ANSWER ME!” (I’m half expecting Chef Boyardee sauce to spray out of her mouth.)
It’s getting closer and closer to the softball game and Leah hasn’t even left the holler yet. She runs back into the house, throwing clothes, trash (and possibly cats) all over the house in an attempt to look for the car keys. Finally Leah can take it no more. She shuts herself down in the basement so that she can scream and let her frustrations out. (Meanwhile, her dazed-and-confused sister Victoria is just randomly roaming around Leah’s kitchen.)
“This is super important!” Leah bellows from the basement. “I can’t be late for their game, their game only lasts 30 minutes!”
Leah knows that if she starts up her old habit of being tardy for everything that dern Corey Tyler will come after her, trying to fetch those youngins away from her!
Leah is hyperventilating, screaming that things always happen like this when MTV is filming. Someone from the crew really should hustle down an oxygen tank to her or something. It’s just missing car keys, girl. It’s not like someone stole your last Lunchable or something!
A few minutes later–SPOILER ALERT!–Leah finds her keys and runs to the car to try to get the girls to their game.
(Sorry but is anyone else just a bit disturbed that Leah left her two young daughters alone in the car with the doors wide open while she had a meltdown in the house?)
The next day, Leah is still recovering from her traumatic key-losing experience. She’s got her third daughter, Addie, with her now, in addition to the twins. Her trusty cousin Chasity is back for another season of contributing well-timed grunts and confused looks to Leah’s ramblings.
Leah tells Chasity that she was so worried that Corey would get mad at her if she was late, which is why she was freaking out.
Chasity, who is not much for “learned” words and such, just keeps replying “Why?” to everything that Leah says. Classic Chasity!
Meanwhile in Delaware, Kail’s pal Gigi comes over to gab about Kail’s sky-diving adventure…and, of course, talk about Javi. Kail also mentions that Dr. Drew gave her some stellar advice during the filming of the reunion: the Doc recommended that Kail stay in an unhappy marriage with Javi for Isaac’s sake.
Kail vows not to make any decisions about her marriage until Javi returns home.
Speaking of Javi, they beam him in from the Great Desert so that he can flex on Facetime for some dude we’ve never seen before. (As you do.) This is getting a little weird…
Javi tells his friend that he still wants his marriage “more than anything” but he’s not sure what he’s going to come home to.
Over in Horry County (yup, still funny), Jenelle is being read her charges which include assault and battery. Jessica is called and marches proudly to the witness stand.
Jessica explains that Jenelle called Nathan and told him that she was going to throw all of his torn-up tank tops out on the front lawn, so he and Jessica went over to Jenelle’s place to collect them. Jenelle had told them that she wasn’t going to be home, apparently, so they felt like it was safe to go collect the tanks.
All of a sudden, a mason jar is heaved at Jessica’s head, and, according to Jessica, Jenelle was seen scurrying back into the house .
While Jenelle’s lawyer doesn’t deny that the incident happened, she tries to make it seem like Jessica is just charging Jenelle so that Nathan wins his custody battle for Kaiser.
“You’re right,” Jessica admits. “It probably doesn’t look good to be a mother and assault people.”
That’s true but this is Teen Mom, girl! If everyone stopped assaulting each other, we wouldn’t have a show!
Next up on the stand is Nathan. He looks excited (and also like he’s just dying to slice those sleeves off the dress shirt he’s wearing). Jenelle can’t even look at Nathan while he’s up on the stand. (Maybe she’s remembering all those moments of passion she had with Nathan over the course of their relationship… all three of them.)
Meanwhile, Lurch is lurking in the background with an angry (yet confused) look on his face.
Nathan explains that after she chucked the mason jar, Jenelle begged Nathan not to call the cops on her. Nathan says Jenelle threw out all the bargaining chips she had to try to entice Nathan not to call the cops– promising more time with Kaiser and even vowing to leave him and Jessica alone. They did call the cops, however, and Nate says he’s only seen his kid once in eight months because of it.
The judge seems to realize how ridiculous all of these people are. As much as I like her, I kind of wish they had brought Barbara up there in one of those old-fashioned white judge wigs and let her decide the outcome of this case. She could have cackled as she hammered a gavel down and accused everyone of being a “Mr. Disrespectful.”
Next it’s Jenelle’s turn to take the witness stand. She explains that this all happened when she was simply “in the kitchen making some ice water.”
Now did she get the recipe for that out of some sort of recipe book, or did she just come up with that idea herself!? #MoreClassier #MoreSmarter
Jenelle claims that she spied Nathan and Jessica pull up in Nate’s DoucheMobile, and when she went outside to investigate, Jessica made a remark to her. Jenelle says Jessica came toward her so Jenelle’s natural reaction was to take that ice water she had just “made” and throw it in Jessica’s face. But–oopsie!– the cup accidentally feel out of Jenelle’s claws and thunked Jessica right in the head!
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, BY GOD!
Jenelle says that she felt like her life was threatened so she ran back into the house, all while Nathan was screeching that she would never see Kaiser Roll again.
Jenelle bursts into tears and claims that she’s been “staying out of trouble” and is just trying to “be a good person and a good mom!”
Now, come on, Jenelle! This is a court of law, at least be serious and stop telling jokes!
Over in South Dakota, Chelsea, Aubree, Other Chelsey and South Dee-koo-tah Mary are heading to a dress shop so that Aubree can try on the dress she’s going to wear at Chelsea and Cole’s upcoming wedding. Aubree puts on the dress and is dancing around the shop.
“Oh my goodness that is so nice,” Mary says.
Aubree requests white heels to wear under her dress. (Perhaps she saw that they made Jenelle look “more classier” at court, so she wants to try some on too!)
Meanwhile in West Virginia, Leah is concerned when Jeremy tells her that he has a job offer in South Dakota that will last several months. She goes to the side of the road to meet Jeremy and exchange the youngin.
“You look awful cute!” Jeremy says, and Leah immediately perks up, until she realizes Jeremy was talking to his daughter and not her. Ding-dangit!
Later, Leah’s pal Kayla comes over with her youngin and Leah tells her all about Jeremy’s business trip. Leah is upset that Jeremy is only planning to see Addie once in the four months that he will be gone.
(Meanwhile, Aleeah is just quietly–but aggressively– riding a horse toy in the background. This is both funny and somewhat disturbing.)
The next day Leah arrives at the roadside stop to pick up Addie from Jeremy. It’s the last time Addie will see him for a few months, and Jeremy is upset. Addie isn’t really upset, but Leah seems to try to make her feel bad.
“It’s gonna be hard, the next four months,” she tells her. “You’re going to miss your daddy.”
In Delaware, Kail, Vee and Jo are taking Isaac out to celebrate his kindergarten graduation. When Isaac is asked what he wants to be when he grows up, he replies “Nothing.”
Well, kid, you’re on the right show!
Isaac starts to get upset and tells Kail that he wants his dad to be there. When Kail points out that Jo is sitting right across from him, Isaac says he wants his “other dad” (aka Javi).
Jo takes it in stride, and Isaac perks up when Javi calls him a few moments later.
Finally, we head back to South Carolina to see the decision of Jenelle’s court case. She’s blubbering outside and then heads into the courtroom to hear the verdict. The jury finds Jenelle not guilty and Jenelle is allowed to go.
How the hell was Jenelle found not guilty? Was the jury made up of Trashbag Tori, Jamie, her ex-husband Courtland and Kaiser? Good Lord!
Jessica makes a horrific face after the verdict is read, and then just shrugs, almost like she didn’t even care.
Lurch hugs his girlfriend and tells her how proud he is of her for not being a felon.
That’s all for this episode! Until next week….
Wanna read The Ashley’s recaps of other reality TV shows? Click here!
Yes, I was cleaned out but don’t expect it to last. She did it just for them ding dang cameras. There were still chicken nuggets and cat carcasses on my floorboards from last season the day before they showed up on the property.
I LOVE these recaps, I have never laughed so hard reading something online. Can’t wait for more!
I really love the captions under the pictures! Brilliant Ms Ashley,you are pure gold! ?
Guess who’s back! DUSTIN!!! I know I’m 2 episodes ahead but I couldn’t contain my excitement!
I was ok with the girls in the car. People forget that they are six now. They can sit in the car for 5 minutes alone at six. And make toast!
This is re: last night’s episode (1/9) but I have to get this out…. LEAH, TAKE THE CHEEZ-WHIZ AWAY FROM YOUR GIRLSES!! Those kids were all but huffing that stuff. 🙁
No one has said it yet so I will. Jenelle’s lawyer must be trying to bring the Freddy Krueger look in style. Her dress looks like a cleaned up version of his sweater with some length added to it. As soon as I saw it, that is what it made me think of. I can’t be the only one.
Omg yes!! Haha all I could think of was wtf why is she wearing Freddy’s sweater to court?! ??
1. This episode needed a healthy dose of Babs narrating a flashback montage timed perfectly to Saturday Night Fever’s “Stayin’ Alive” of Juh-Nelle’s former court appearances starting with the first time she appeared wearing those too long white pants she had to roll up, so you could see she was wearing heels like a woman who’s all growed up. Oh and a jury that can see, hear, and think.
2. Kail’s a soulless snake who uses those around her until she can’t use them anymore, but hey like she’s reminded us in the past, “It’s HER show, not Javi’s,” so I guess we have no choice but to put up with her ridiculous attempts to make us feel sorry for her. It’s time to admit that the only thing that Jo and Javi have in common is impregnating Kail, so I’m pretty sure she’s the problem, not the people she chooses to procreate with.
3. This episode also needed Corey, he’s always good for a few laughs to distract us from the trainwreck that is Leah’s existence.
4. Chelsea needs to leave the show if she wants her reality-TV-earning life to be an accumulation of cutesy baby talking private moments. Aubree’s cute and all, but do we really care what her dress for CHELSEA’s wedding (which of course we didn’t get to see and won’t get to see, much like her engagement, her dress shopping, wedding planning, quickie “I’m knocked up wedding,” the manadatory TM bigger wedding to follow the quickie wedding, etc) looks like?! Guess that’s why we spent so much time waiting on Adumb’s doorstep while he had his toddler meltdown inside, there’s literally nothing worth filming in Chelsea’s neck of the woods but her burping the alphabet and praising her “Coley.”
“‘Legs back, legs up,’ he tells her. ‘That’s your only job for today. Got it?’
Um…duh, dude. That shouldn’t be a problem. After all, this is Teen Mom. Doing that is what got these girls famous!”
HAHAHAHA! Funniest thing I’ve read all day. Thank you 🙂
Kailyn is so corny and whack. Javi didnt spend more time with Isaac than Jo. Javi was off in training alot of their marriage and Joe was always in his son’s life. She prepped Javi to replace Jo and now that she want to write out Javi, Isaac is making it difficult for her. She is a spiteful soulless emotionless wench. Thats why she has to do cornball stuff like sky diving. Thats and sex are the closest she gets to feeling any emotions. Shes gonna be doing danger porn when the MTV well dries up.
How old is Addie? She looks too small to be I that car seat, with just one strap diagonal across her chest…she should be more secure in there!
I think that’s a doll!
this is legit the funniest post I’ve seen….maybe Leah was right and they do “edit” stuff into the scenes….including baby dolls to replace Addie
Addie is 3. She will be 4 on February 4th. This scene was filmed in summer 2016 I’m assuming. West Virginia LAW states you must be 4 years old AND 40 pounds to be in a high back booster like that. So not only is Addie in the car seat illegally, she is obviously not ready to be in a car seat with just a seatbelt holding her in. They don’t recdommend you being in a car seat like that until you can sit correctly, not move around (bend forward like Addie is doing in one of the promo clips). And with Leah’s texting and driving habit heaven forbid she were to wreck. That child would go through the windshield! 5 point harnesses are the way to go!
The part about Leah’s daughter on the play horse made me laugh out loud at work.
Did anyone catch this part?
1. Nathans girlfriend stated she remained in the vehicle.
2. Jenelle says that “she was coming at me and I threw water at her and the jar just happened to land in her lap”.
See that nice lie there? How can someone who is “coming at you” have something fall in their lap? That would mean she’d be sitting down. How can one come at someone while sitting?
Mull that one over eh?
Yes everyone noticed.. Everyone except the jury ? of course they were probably too distracted by Jessica’s wig-hair and the gorilla with a man bun in the court room..
Did anyone notice that Jeremy said he would be gone for 3 months, and Leah stretched it to 4. She started off saying 3-4 months and soon, it just became 4. I understand either is a long time to be away from your kid, but military and other jobs do it longer all the time. She makes him out to be a bad guy for having a job.
She’s just trying to play victim and look like the better parent for once. I don’t think Jeremy is a bad guy, and she needs to stop coming for him like he is before he takes action. She needs to be thanking her lucky stars he didn’t do anything to her when she let Addie wander away from the house a while back. Even at the reunion she was talking about how Jeremy doesn’t spend time with Addie, and everyone kind of moaned and rolled their eyes because everybody knows she’s just trying to make him look bad, and trying to make it seem like she’s this attentive parent.
-Adam is such a self righteous nightmare. I dunnno who he thinks he is….When he was like nobody came and filmed when I actually did do something with Aubree, it’s all Chelsea’s fault because she didn’t tell you guys….ummmm last I checked, Adumb is an ADULT and has the same phone number to the producers that everyone else does on the show…if he wants to be shown as this “great” dad, then pick up the phone and call the producers to come and film it…The people on this show think that everything should be handed to them. That’s what the problem is. If he doesn’t come back, I wouldn’t miss him at all. I hope he doesn’t come back….he’s such a waste of space.
-Nathan makes my head hurt every time he opens his mouth. I cannot take the amount of stupid that comes out of it…and WTF was up with that hair-do??? He looked like the king of the douche bags….I bet Adam would have the same hair style if he weren’t so bald. He has to settle for a landing strip in the middle of his head.
-Did anyone notice how Gracie totally lied about what Ali did to her? LOL! She tried to say that Ali wrapped the seat belt around her neck and was choking her….Leah definitely has her hands full with those twins. I see why Leah had a mini breakdown, she’s out numbered 3-1, she’s a single mother, her kids are bad, and she knows she could lose custody again….mind you she’s the one that got herself into this situation, but it’s a lot for anyone to handle. I couldn’t imagine doing that as young as she is…
Brace yourselves… Jenelle is coming!
Game of Throw
“Game of Throw” love it!???
Chaos, absolute chaos.
Poor Jo though. But it is understandable, Isaac spent much of his childhood with Javi. Will be interesting when Kail brings a new guy (or girl!) in his life.
Yeah that was heartbreaking to watch. I was impressed how he handled it. He really has become a much classier guy over the years. I mean he and Vee moved all the way to Delaware leaving their families and friends just so he could be near Isaac. He has his faults but that is a dedicated parent. I don’t think I would handle it very well if my kid was sitting there saying they wanted their other mom instead of me.
I thought the same thing – it was heartbreaking to hear because Issac was being a grade-A brat whining about “his dad” not being there. But he’s definitely grown and he gets it – Javi had been the “primary” male figure. Now that Jo lives in Delaware, I’m guessing he’s more involved with Issac on a day-to-day basis and Issac will see that soon.
On another note from the celebration meal – did anyone else giggle when Kail was shoving nachos in her gob while getting Javi off the phone as fast as possible?
Poor Jo though. But it is understandable, Isaac spent much of his childhood with him. Will be interesting when Kail brings a new guy (or girl!) in his life.
Laughing at jenelle saying it could affect her career when she’s older. I graduated medical school at her age. LOL time to grow up, jenelle.
Ready-for-Court clothing OMG I was dying laughing! Am I the only one that misses Dustin? He was so cute! I loved when he told Jenelle that he wasn’t going to tell the prosecutor that she couldn’t serve her jail time when they wanted her to because she had tickets to a Kesha concert. He was rolling his eyes and she was like “Dude, it’s Kesha. I have feathers in my hair because of her.”
I was impressed to see Leah feeding the girls a vegetable platter. I wonder if it is because she had gotten so much criticism for the ravioli and lunchables?
Ah! So now I can finally reveal what set Jenelle off at Target in May. A lady refused to give up the last polyester black suit in Jenelle’s “a bit to small by January size”.
That awful lady, she would send a mother to jail, I’m telling you! This lady had the nerve to keep the suit and take it home after she paid “cause she already had it in her hands for over 5 minutes”. Like that matters when lives are on the line, a mother’s live, the lives of three children!
Did she refused to understand Jenelle needed to look like a poor, changed, hardworking tired single mom (kids over beauty!) who could not afford expensive clothes or even a new suit in her size, in order to stay out of jail?? Jenelle even told her about the matching “poor woman’s” glasses she just bought but this lady, dude, it was awful. It was just so injust.
Even I got sweaty legs the next day from the shock and had to see a doctor, my whole family even caught a highly unusual illness that normally does not spread because of what happened.
Just kidding 😉 😉 😉
Dustin was so sexy. I miss him also.
“where’s my white collarless shirt from fred segal?!?” lol!!! the ashley you slay me!!
@Pony- Glad someone caught that joke! -The Ashley 🙂
That caption was my favorite thing that happened today. I’m glad someone else caught it. I was briefly afraid I was too old to be judging former Teen Moms from my desk at work.
“DING DANG IT”
HAHAHA! This is so fantastic! Can anyone explain to me why in SC a District Attorney or Solicitor General doesn’t prosecute cases and instead it’s handled by a Police Officer? Also, why the hell does Adam think it should be up to Chelsea to coordinate his filming schedule? I fucking hate that douchelord. the girls sitting on bed frames that they could have slipped right off and in between. Quit playing with your baldnheaded Mohawk and watch your children! Leah’s meltdown scared the shit out of me. I do not believe she is well yet.
If it’s Municipal Court,the PA doesn’t always show up. The officer who took the complaint will handle the case. This happens a lot with my husband when he’s in court with cases for the DOH.
“Jesus God Leah” has to be the best thing that has come out of Teen Mom 2. ???
I can’t remember. Was it Corey or Jeremy that said that?
It was Corey and it was the absolute best!!!
And why did Corey say it again (I forgot)
Horry county is pronounced Oh-Ree. Jenelle’s attorney works for The Lovely Law Firm. They have a jingle, “When life gets ugly, justice gets lovely, The Lovely Law Firm!”
I guess they live up to their advertisement…I can’t believe Jenelle got off, but whatever.
bwhahaha…they sound like this guy here Keller & Keller. Have you been injured?? Not your fault…CALL US!
And she was oh so lovely chawing her gum in court.
Yeah, that’s the lawyer I want on my side.
Really? Because the rest of South Carolina pronounces it exactly how it looks (Hor-ree) or as The Ashley is implying, “Whorey” county which is a bit funny by the way. Jokes aside, I have never heard anyone pronounce it as Oh-Ree and I have been living in SC all my life. Maybe it is something people local to there only know. I can understand that as a family member of mine lives on a street named Iroquois and trust me we have heard every pronunciation in the book for it by those who don’t know how to say it. Heck, I’m not even sure we say it right lol. We say Ear-uh-Koys even though we know it’s probably that without the “s” added. Someone pronounced it Ear-o-kwa and that could be right, but all other ways I have heard it said have to be way off hehe. We even had a lady ask us how to pronounce it because she couldn’t. It surprised me in a way since the road is named after an indian tribe that I like to think are fairly well known about since they were in our history books in school. Sorry for rambling, just thought I’d share.
” HORRY ” is a surname of French origin. The correct pronunciation is ” OH-REE’ “. Horry County is named after General Peter Horry, a French Hueguenot planter.
Ok, well I learn something new everyday 🙂 I guess the rest of the people around the upstate here need a history lesson. Thanks for the info.
I still can’t believe Jenelle was let off the hook. She admitted that she threw the glass at her for crying out loud. I think maybe the jury felt like Jessica was only pressing charges to benefit Nathan. When Jenelle’s lawyer asked Jessica if she was just trying to help Nathan’s custody battle, she straight up admitted it. That was just plain stupid of her.
Same thing I said. It made her look vindictive. She should have said “No, that has absolutely nothing to do with this. That is totally a non factor in regards to why I pressed charges. I pressed charges because I was physically assaulted out of sheer anger on her part”
Or she took her oath to not lie on the stand seriously. Good on her for being honest.
I think she was too stupid to realize that “the truth” was going to backfire on her. She thought it was going to go down the “yeah, a mother shouldn’t be acting like that” path instead of the “so she’s seriously blowing it out of proportion just to be vindictive”.
It’s also possible that she over exaggerated what happened so the state overcharged and Jenelle really was not guilty of what she was charged with though guilty of a lesser charge that wasn’t put in front of the jury.
“What do you want to be when you grow up Isaac?”
Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree eh??
I don’t know how Jenelle keeps getting away with all this stuff. It’s insane.
Great recap!! Soooo funny!! Still laughing so many good ones TheAshley!! ? ? I can still hear Leah’s exorcist deep growl.. You said Chef Boyardee spewing out her mouth.. Hysterical!!
I love how the jury completely missed the fact that Jenelle straight up lied to them when she said Jessie was coming at her and that’s when she threw the glass and it landed in her lap after it hit her in the head. The jury was seriously too stupid to understand that Jenelle straight up told them Jessie wasn’t coming at her because when someone’s coming at you the object you throw at them doesn’t land in their lap. Good grief with juries these days. A lot of them are dumber than the criminals that are being prosecuted.
As someone who had the misfortune of serving on a jury, my experience was stubborn and ignorant people who have no concept of the laws they are asked to vote on.they side on emotion and “CSI” information where if everything isn’t perfectly wrapped up, it could have never happened. One of the worst experiences of my life that actually deterred me from going to law school (thankfully?).
I doubt thats an MTV cameraman hanging on the plane. Usually when you go skydiving like that, there is always a second person jumping with you to film it, so you can take the video home and show people.
So Adam wants people to buy he’s a “changed man” by acting like a grade A douchebag towards the crew? Um….ok. That makes sense.
In Adumbs workd it makes perfect sense, since he is a douche lord.
Hahaha!! Thank you for your hilarious recap The Ashley 🙂 I wonder if Jenelle has a clothing match simulator on her computer for her court dates 😀
Nope. But I heard she does take polaroids because she doesn’t rely on mirrors.
I was rolling when Jenelle said the charges could affect her “career.”
You know what else can affect your career in the future? Not working your entire adult life!
I can’t wait to see how her life turns out once the show is over. I can see her selling stories about herself to the tabloids for cash.
She is already doing that, sometimes she gets Lurch to do it (good for her, let the man at least do something to earn his free meal tickets) or Lurch’s sista. In the past whorey Tori was “the source close to Jenelle”, her Facebook even stated “friend of Jenelle Evans” as her job. But Tori did not want to share her calm down pills and was fired as friend so Jen just needs other Tori’s now.
Or her 50000 mug shots floating around the internet, I think that might be a bit of a “career” deterrent as well. Until Jenelle starts taking responsibility instead of blaming everyone else, her life will always be sh*t.
How can this animal just go around attacking people without any consequences? Yea it hurts like hell for your ex to bring his new squeeze to your house but you conduct yourself like an adult and get pissed when you inside where no one can see you. I don’t care how anyone tries to slice it, Jessica has a right to sit in her boyfriend’s car and wait for him without having a glass thrown at her head. I can’t wait to see how Chinelle gets herself out of these jams when the show is over and MTV isn’t bankrolling her legal fees.
Chelsea is boring and doesn’t have anything to do on camera but discuss Adum.
Kail is a parental alienator and Isaac’s demeanor is the result of that. That must have hurt Jo a lot to watch his son cry for another man. I blame Kail. A lot of women want to stick it to their ex by interjecting the new man as “your new daddy” and this is the end result when the relationship ends. I feel bad for Isaac. Javi will always be in the picture because of Linc, therefore It’s gonna take Isaac a long time, if ever, to get over losing Javi as a stepdad. Good job Kail.
Leah is still as disorganized and unhinged as usual. You can tell there is no structure or routine in their home for herself or her kids. How about having a designated place to keep keys so that you always know where they are, mines is a dish on th kitchen counter. Yes, I also was uncomfortable with the fact she left her kids in the car alone and probably confused while she hides out in the basement like a scared kitten.
Also, who advised Jessi telling her it was a good idea to mention she pressed charges to help with the custody case? What a dope.
You already know that was all Nathans doing.
You already know that was all Nathans doing. Stupid rubs off.
I think Kail is a scumbag …cheating on Javi while he’s serving our country!? Wow! Can’t wait til he calls her out, and she looks like a Ho ! ! And Jenelles storylines are always the same, just a different guys name every season! ? Awesome recap as always Ashley!?
Nothing is ever good enough for her. She’s a user, I knew that when she was living with Jo and his family. She never loved that man (Javi). She loved the idea of the stability he can provide for her and her son. She just needs to stay single. I think that would be best for Isaac too.
She is becoming exactly like Susie.