It’s been a while since we’ve checked in with the citizenship-challenged couples of TLC’s 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After?, and it appears that a lot of that “happily ever after” has started to wear off for the gang.
Let’s catch up with our couples, shall we?
We start things off with Annie and David. Poor Annie is starting to realize that her husband has a chronic disease: unemployment-itus!
He still doesn’t have a job, and Annie is unhappy that she’s hardly living that glamorous life that she dreamed of. (I guess squatting in an old firehouse with your jobless husband isn’t exactly the American Dream, eh?)
David’s sister, Nancy, is coming to town and Annie is going to cook her a traditional Thai dinner. Nancy must have some sort of job because she was able to actually rent a “vacation house” to stay in for her trip. (Imagine that! Paying to live somewhere. David must be confused by that concept. It’s hard for him!)
Annie and David come to the house to make dinner. (Well, Annie is making dinner; David is sitting on his rump, complaining, as per usual.) David tells us that he didn’t want his sister to stay with him and his bride at the firehouse because it’s not very comfortable. (I mean, who doesn’t hate it when their squat house gets too cramped!?)
Nancy seems fairly supportive of David and Annie’s relationship. Annie takes the opportunity to tell Nancy all about how David refuses to take a job that’s beneath him. (Apparently, he’s holding out to become a rockstar or astronaut or something? He can’t be bothered to stock shelves at the Target or something! The horror!)
“Take some job,” Annie says to David. “Some little job, then you can step up and take on the big job you like.”
Nancy gets on Annie’s side immediately. She realizes that her brother is a big useless lump of complaint and tries to encourage him to stop holding out until he is able to become President of the Free World.
“You find something and you do it,” Nancy says, adding that she’s “really disappointed” in David and that she’s “tremendously worried” about his whole situation.
David decides to take what his sister is saying to heart. He also decides to take whatever spending money Nancy has brought for her vacation.
He asks his sister if he can borrow some cash, and Nancy is just blown away. (For some reason she must have actually been holding out hope that her brother wasn’t a complete waste of space?)
“I come all the way here for you to ask me for money,? Nancy asks incredulously.
David then tells us that he has previously borrowed money from his other sister and from his father. He only asked Nancy for cash because he’s running out of relatives to mooch off of.
“I don’t want to keep seeing David borrow, borrow, borrow money,” Annie says.
Nancy says no, she’s not going to enable David by giving him money. David says he was not expecting Nancy to say no.
“I feel helpless,” he says.
If only there was some way that David could go out and somehow get money by doing…I don’t know…some sort of work for an agreed-upon amount of money! Then he wouldn’t be helpless!
Speaking of jobless folk, we next check in with the employment-challenged Azan and his desperate bride-to-be Nicole.
Nicole and her daughter May are in Morocco with Azan. Having Nicole within hugging distance appears to be Azan’s worst nightmares come to life. He seems to be trying to get rid of her and her kid (although he’s fine with letting Nicole’s wallet stick around). Nicole, as per usual, is not taking the hint.
Nicole says she plans to stay in Morocco for a year or so after their wedding. Azan looks like he wants to start trekking through the desert ASAP in search of a Nicole-less life.
They sit down and try to find out why Azan’s visa was denied. Azan says that he “thinks” it got denied because of his previous relationship with a woman from Belarus. Azan says he thinks the embassy people suspect he’s just trying to get out of Morocco anyway he can. They don’t believe he’s really in love with Nicole.
What? WHAT!? Hold the phones! Breaking news! Azan might not really be in love with Nicole? I find that hard to believe!
Next, we head over to check in with Chantel and Pedro. Pedro’s big-screen-TV-obsessed “sister” Nicole is in town and things are still tense between Pedro and Chantel. Pedro tells Nicole that The Family Chantel is having him investigated and Nicole says that’s crazy. Pedro tells his sister that he really wants to move away from The Family Chantel because they won’t stay out of his business.
Chantel, and her fake eyelashes, tries to mend fences with Pedro and Nicole. Chantel says she’s sorry for disrespecting Pedro and for “whatever happened yesterday.” But, Pedro says she still has an attitude.
Ooooh, girl. If he said that to me, after I apologized, he’d be pulling the Lee Press-on Nails out of his eyeballs for DAYS!
They go back in the apartment and all three of them just sit around and ignore each other. Chantel goes over to her family’s house to trash-talk Pedro and Nicole (as you do).
The Family Chantel is mad when they hear that Pedro is going to stay the night in a hotel with his sister. They bring up an interesting theory: perhaps Nicole is not actually part of The Family Pedro at all. Maybe she’s not his sister….
“Nicole seems to behave as if Pedro is her boyfriend. It makes me wonder what kind of relationship that is,” Chantel’s mom says.
Record scraaaaaaatch! Either Pedro and Nicole are in some sort of weird scam, or The Family Pedro is very icky…
Chantel doesn’t seem to believe that Nicole is anything more than Pedro’s demanding sister. Still, she says Nicole is disrespecting her and this makes The Family Chantel very angry.
“They have may have thought they met some stupid Americans, but things are about to get a little bit more stupider,” Chantel’s mom says. (Um… clearly…)
“I’ll do something about this, let me get these rings off,” Chantel’s mom says, as she starts taking her jewelry off like she’s ready to fight. (It’s all very Snooki-fights-Angelina “hold my earrings”…)
Meanwhile, over in Georgia, Molly and Luis are officially done. Luis has moved out and Molly says she is relieved to have her house back. She says she’s ready to move forward with her life.
Molly admits that she hasn’t seen her 18-year-old daughter Olivia in about a month, despite the fact that Olivia is in the same town, shacking up at her boyfriend’s place to avoid the pile of Uselessness that’s been congealing on her mother’s couch for the last few months.
Molly calls her daughter and tells her that Luis has moved out and that she really wants to see her. Olivia agrees to meet Molly for lunch later in the week.
“At this point, I regret my relationship with Luis,” Molly says. “I wish I would have listened to my gut a little more and just known that this wasn’t going to work.”
Next, we jet on over to Colombia, where Paola and Russ are preparing to leave to go back to the United States. Paola is very sad to leave her family.
“I need to go back to that Pao who used to be there for my family,” she cries to Russ.
Russ tries to be supportive and tell her she can still support her family from the U.S. (on her Instagram lingerie model salary, apparently?)
Paola and Russ return to Florida and Russ leaves on a work trip. Paola meets up with her friend Genny who is also from Colombia. Paola opens up about her miscarriage.
She says she didn’t tell her best friend, Juan, because she doesn’t think he has the kindness to be supportive.
What? Juan? Not kind? Who would’ve thought? He’s a regular Mother Teresa in gold chains, that one!
Paola says she doesn’t know if Russ knows how much the miscarriage upset her. She is very worried that if she becomes pregnant again, she will have another miscarriage.
“I feel guilty. I feel that it was my fault,” she says, adding that she wishes Russ would talk to her more about it.
Later, we go with Paola to the doctor. The doctor tells her that she does have a higher chance of miscarriage because her blood is RH negative. He says now that they know this, if she gets pregnant again, they will be able to control it by giving her a shot.
Finally, we go see what our last dumpster-fire couple, Anfisa and Jorge, have been up to lately.
Jorge is meeting with the counselor to talk about his crappy relationship with Anfisa. The counselor asks Jorge what he loves about Anfisa and Jorge says he loves her honesty. (‘Member when she keyed “Idiot” into his car because that’s what she honesty thought of him? That was special!)
The counselor then asks Jorge what he thinks he needs to do to make Anfisa happy and he says, “make more money.”
Jorge tells the producer that he could fix “all the problems that he has” with money. Jorge tells the counselor that money is the most important thing in the marriage and the most important thing in his life. (While this seems like a skewed view of reality, we have to remember that Jorge is married to Anfisa, so he may not be that far off here.)
Jorge goes home and talks to Anfisa about his counseling session.
“Jorge has issues and he needs to work on them but he hasn’t, so what’s the point of going back to counseling if he’s not going to work on them?” Anfisa asks.
They decide to quit counseling and Jorge thinks everything is going to be fine, but Anfisa tells us that she is thinking about divorcing him.
But…but…but…they seem so happy!
(OK, I couldn’t even type that with a straight face.)
Meanwhile, David, Annie, Nancy and David’s daughter, Ashley, go out to dinner. (David is surely excited for the free meal.)
At dinner, they mention how much Nancy likes children, so Annie asks her if she will help her with her future kids… if her and David have them. That’s when things get awkward.
“Who are you going to have kids with? It’s not dad,” Ashley says.
“At David’s age?” Nancy asks.
Annie seems confused by their reaction.
“You mean his sperm don’t work anymore?” Annie asks.
She then reveals that David plans to get his vasectomy reversed because he promised her they could have kids. Ashley is flabbergasted.
“You have grandkids you can help raise!” Ashley says. (I see the mooching gene runs deep in the family!)
Nancy is just baffled. David asked her to borrow money last night, yet he is talking about having a baby tonight. Annie gets defensive.
“Why do I have to explain my life to you?!” she yells before she storming out.
Ashley goes after her and tries to explain their concern. Annie comes back in, but she says she still doesn’t trust Ashley. She will, however, stay for the rest of dinner, since it’s probably the only Top-Ramen-less meal she’s had in weeks!
The next day, it’s time for Nancy to leave. David says he thinks Nancy is “abrasive.”
Why? Because she won’t give you money?
Nancy tells David he better get his s**t together. David keeps telling her that his opportunities are going to come to fruition.
Nancy says she is upset because David is repeating the exact same scenario he has repeated over and over again.
Later, Annie meets up with Ashley for dinner sans David. Ashley says she heard that Annie met David at an escort bar. She asks Annie if this is true. Annie denies this.
Annie admits that, in Thailand, there are bars where “naked women use their vagina to open the beer and put some stuff in there,” but she didn’t work at one.
Wait…what?! That doesn’t sound very hygienic!
Annie said she had never even been to one of those vagina beer bars… until David took her there.
Can we all take a moment to digest the picture of David in one of these bars?! BRB– gotta go spew my lunch.
Anyway, back in Morocco, Azan, Nicole and May travel to see Azan’s family and start planning The Lil’ Desert Wedding ‘o’ Horrors. Azan says his family is excited that he is getting married because he is the only son, and that his parents are paying for the wedding.
Azan’s mom and sister say they are delighted to see Nicole and May.
“When Nicole knocked on the door and I saw her standing there, I was so happy, I can’t even explain it,” Azan’s mom said. “I am so excited to see my son get married.”
So, everyone is excited about this wedding…except Azan. Nicole says she’s excited for “the wedding night and every night after that.”
Hearing this, Azan has the same look on his face I did a minute ago when I was picturing David in the Thai vagina beer bar.
Azan is about to be called to the carpet. Nicole’s mother, Robbalee, has arrived in Morocco and she’s there to grill Azan like a shish-kebab.
“Azan seems reluctant to get to know us and that makes me nervous,” Robbalee says. “It’s like, what are you hiding?”
Nicole tells Robbalee that Azan plans to get a “small job here and there to help out.” (Oh, how nice of him!)
Robbalee says she is worried that they won’t be able to take care of themselves, much less May. Robbalee immediately starts asking Azan about the other girls he’s been talking to. Nicole gets mad and says she doesn’t want to talk about it. Go figure.
Over in Georgia, Molly goes to meet with attorney to inquire about divorcing Luis. Molly says Luis doesn’t have his work permit or green card yet, so she is meeting with an immigration attorney to find out the next steps.
The attorney, Irene, starts taking notes on the whole Molly/Luis debacle.
“So, you didn’t really have any red flags before he came to the U.S.?” Attorney Irene asks snarkily.
Irene is taking notes on the mess that is Molly’s life and then she tells Molly that since she signed an affidavit of support, Molly might be on the hook for 10 years to support Luis.
“He needs to go back to the Dominican because I’ve already spent thousands and thousands of dollars to get him here and I don’t want to have to pay one more cent for Luis’ ass, anymore,” Molly says.
Irene tells Molly she needs to go to the green card interview and let them know if she thinks Luis had ulterior motives when he came to the U.S. Irene says this interview might not happen for a whole year, though.
“I wish you well,” Snarky Attorney Irene says as Molly leaves.
Translation: “Biotch, you’re screwed!”
Finally, we head over to see Anfisa and Jorge one last time. Things are even more tense between these lovebirds now, due to the fact that some woman sent Anfisa a direct message on Twitter, claiming that Jorge is the father of her 10-year-old child!
The potential baby mama claims that Jorge knows it’s his kid and that he hasn’t sent over any pot money to help support his child. (If this doesn’t have the makings of a pretty good Maury Povich Show episode, I don’t know what does!)
Anfisa said Jorge denies that it’s his child.
“If this kid is really his, I don’t want to have anything to do with Jorge ever again,” she tells us.
But, whose car would you key, Anfisa!?
Next week, Anfisa and Jorge are still trying to figure out if he has a daughter; David is trying to figure out how to pay/mooch rent on the firehouse; Azan and Nicole are trying to figure out the steps to Moroccan marriage. Oh, and Pedro and The Brother Chantel, River, get into a physical fight.
To read our previous “90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After?” recaps, click here!