On this episode of 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After? we’re treated to a court date, a public domestic dispute, one awkward baby shower and a lesson on why you should always mow the lawn, especially when it’s not your lawn to begin with. (No, we’re not being gross here. We’re really talking about grass…for once…)
The episode kicks off in Las Vegas where Larissa is carefully selecting her best and most cat-hair-free courtin’ outfit. To really class-up her outfit, she opts for a strange, side ponytail thing, most likely inspired by DJ Tanner of ‘Full House.’
While Larissa is upstairs trying on spandex dresses, Colt is downstairs sipping his coffee, surprisingly not with his mom. Colt says the worst thing that could happen would be for Larissa to be arrested and deported back to Brazil, even though it would free up a lot of his time for more mother-son margarita nights.
With Colt at work the day of the trial (hey, that kitty litter isn’t going to pay for itself), his mom Debbie is left to be Larissa’s chauffeur and “plus one” for the day. Debbie says Larissa being deported might be for the best, but she knows Colt is in love so she’s going to do her best to play nice.
Next we check in with Chantel and Pedro who are still at odds over the recent Thanksgiving dinner that Pedro skipped out on. Feasting on turkey and yams with The Family Chantel did not sound like fun to Pedro, so he declined the invitation, which, of course, angered The Family Chantel. (We can assume Pedro spent Thanksgiving at home, alone, plotting to harvest the American dollar…)
Chantel says things have been tense at home, so she and Pedro decide to hit the town for a double date with their friends Cassandra and Danny.
Like Chantel, Cassandra is also married to a Dominican man; however, her husband enjoys interests outside of video games, breaking furniture and hating her family. Chantel considers Cassandra and Danny to be “#relationshipgoals” and she longs for the day when she and Pedro can see eye-to-eye, preferably without the need of Shocky, her mom’s trusty Pedro taser.
During the dinner, Chantel shares Pedro’s plan to take a solo trip to the Dominican Republic and we learn that Danny has also made some solo trips back home—three of them, in fact. Danny seems to understand Pedro’s desire to visit family without bringing along his spouse; however, when Danny learns that Pedro is planning to stay for over a month, he becomes less defensive of Pedro.
Danny says Pedro will run through money quicker than Karen runs through batteries in Shocky due to family members asking for help.
Cassandra suggests Pedro go for a week and then have Chantel come up for a weekend, but Pedro isn’t really into the idea.
Pedro and Chantel then tell their friends about the brawl that went down with The Family Chantel. Their story time soon turns into an argument in front of Cassandra and Danny and Pedro says this is why he needs his time to “f**k off,” which doesn’t sit well with Chantel. On the bright side, she’s finally warming up to the idea of Pedro taking his trip, mainly so he won’t be around to piss her off.
Over in Oklahoma, it’s the day of Paola’s baby shower and she decides to squeeze in a last-minute manicure with her one and only Oklahoma pal Christine. Even though Paola admits this appointment will likely make her late for her own shower, if she can’t paint her body for this event, she’s going to at least paint her nails.
Paola tells Christine that she has a lot of reservations about the shower due to her rocky past with Russ’ family. (Who the hell cares? You just have to stand there and smile for a few hours and you get a heap of free gifts!)
However, ever since Russ’ mom Patty found out that Paola is carrying The Spawn ‘o’ Russ in her banana hammock, Patty has been a lot nicer.
While Paola tends to her claws, Patty is at the house with Russ setting up the soccer-themed baby shower as guests begin to arrive. The house soon fills with friends, family and gifts, but…no baby mama. An hour passes and there is still no guest of honor to be found.
Patty grows noticeably frustrated, thinking that she’s constructed a mini PVC-pipe soccer goal for her dining room table all for nothing. Russ decides to do a welfare check on Paola to make sure she’s not been roped into getting her sonogram pics etched onto her nails or something. (You know those nail ladies are aggressive about trying to get you to get flowers and designs put onto your nails…it could happen.)
Paola tells Russ she’s not sure when she and her acrylics will be rolling up to the baby shower, but she instructs him to stay there until she arrives.
Elsewhere, Elizabeth and Andrei are doing some baby prepping of their own (sans manicures). Elizabeth is concerned that Andrei won’t be cool with her family meddling in their lives once the baby arrives and on top of that, her dad Chuck wants to meet with her to talk, which can only be about one thing—Andrei’s unemployment.
Chuck tells Elizabeth he’s disappointed that Andrei is still sans job, and more so because Andrei made such a big deal recently about how he was going to start being a provider. Evidently there’s a bit of a language barrier when it comes to the definition of “provider” as Andrei seems to believe it means mooching off of your in-laws and crashing in a house you don’t own or pay rent on.
Elizabeth doesn’t seem to understand what the issue is and this baffles Chuck.
To add insult to injury, Chuck says that Elizabeth and Andrei aren’t even maintaining the property they’re living in…rent-free. Instead of buying a lawnmower, Elizabeth says she and Andrei prefer to use what little harvested American dollars they have to stock their refrigerator.
She then tells Chuck to mind his own business.
Elizabeth goes on to accuse Chuck of holding this whole “free rent” thing over her head, which is completely absurd as Chuck can’t get anywhere near Elizabeth or Andrei’s heads due to the three feet of overgrown grass in their front yard.
Next we check in with Nicole as she heads to a family outing in honor of her daughter May’s birthday. This reunion marks the first time Nicole’s family will be seeing her since she and Azan (but mainly Azan) decided not to get married in Morocco, so Nicole is anticipating a riveting round of 21 questions in between cutting the cake and opening presents.
Also…the place they’re having the party has its very own “Gator Feeding Area”…so there’s that…
As expected, Nicole’s family is collectively confused as to what Nicole and Azan’s marriage plans are, though none seem particularly optimistic that this Wedding of the Century will ever actually take place.
“This whole thing just seems like a cycle of nothing,” Nicole’s mom Robbalee says.
(Honestly “A Cycle of Nothing” would be a great name should TLC ever give Nicole and Azan their own spin-off.)
Robbalee goes on to accuse Azan of “ditching” the opportunity to marry Nicole, but Nicole says there’s nothing to worry about and that things are totally fine. She then tells her family about the plans to go to Grenada, which turns into a discussion about the South Korea incident in which Azan was allegedly banned from entering the country (though it’s still unclear if he even attempted to go at all, to be totally honest).
Despite every red flag in the world, or at least the ones in America and Morocco, Nicole assures her family that the next trip with Azan will go swimmingly.
Next we check in with Ashley and her dating-app-loving husband, Jay. Since Jay’s stern talking to at the barber shop seemed to help him out last episode, Ashley decides to take her issues to the salon to see if she can yield the same results.
Ashley tells her stylist she needs a change, but instead of encouraging her to leave her cheating husband, Katie the hairdresser suggests hair extensions. Ashley hopes her new ‘do will put a little pep in her step, but just in case it doesn’t, she has a backup plan that involves meeting up with her ex-boyfriend Mikey for drinks.
Once on the “date”, Ashley can’t help but to marvel over Mikey’s maturity, employment status and tendency to not hit on random women online. Mikey says Ashley is “the one that got away” and he is very interested to hear about how Jay did her wrong.
Ashley says she still loves Jay but Mikey isn’t too convinced.
Mikey says Ashley makes bad choices when it comes to men—with him being the exception to that rule, of course—and tells her she shouldn’t settle for an unemployed cheater whose idea of romance is a couch date with some cold Chinese food and a hand in his pocket trolling Tinder.
We head back over to check in with Pedro and Chantel. It’s the day after their double date from hell, so Pedro sneaks off to a random park to call his sister Nicole. (As you do.)
During his call with The Sister Pedro, Pedro says he can’t talk to family while he’s at home without Chantel asking him to translate the s**t he’s probably talking about her. The Sister Pedro says Chantel doesn’t support Pedro or respect The Family Pedro and she also has a problem with Chantel telling Pedro she doesn’t know if she wants to have kids with him.
Pedro says he can’t try to do “more better” anymore and needs to go see “the people” in the Dominican Republic alone.
Next we head to Oklahoma for the baby shower that Paola has finally decided to show up to—- more than an hour late. The whitebread Oakies are not thrilled that they’ve been standing around for over an hour eating deviled eggs and trying to not talk crap because TV cameras are there. Still, though, they put on good faces and act like they’re not pissed.
‘It wouldn’t be Pao if you weren’t late,” Patty tells Paola while shooting daggers at her freshly painted Baby Shower Blue nails.
Soon after Paola’s tardy arrival, Russ and the other guys head out to play golf while the women hang back and get the shower started. Patty sits Paola in a giant recliner to open gifts while they all awkwardly stare at her and judge her reactions.
As the shower goes on, the party continues to thin out and Paolo is disappointed, completely overlooking the fact that they all arrived more than an hour before she did and already had their fill of soccer ball cupcakes and fruit punch.
Patty looks like she would like to beat her daughter-in-law with a shower head.
After leaving the shower unscathed, Paola heads back to her and Russ’ hotel room. Russ is anxious to hear how the party went (and probably wants to know if Pao smuggled any soccer ball cupcakes for him). Paolo shares with him her disappointment.
Russ attempts to explain (again) that most of the guests were waiting around for an hour for her to arrive, but Paolo takes it personally and wants Russ to tell the family that her feelings are hurt.
Somehow, Paolo seems to be blaming Russ for her shower guests scattering.
“You left and everybody left!” she tells him.
UM….if those poor people had to stay any longer, Patty would have had to start busting out sleeping bags for them!
Russ says he’ll talk to his family the following day, but insists that Paolo talk to Patty as well. (Perhaps Paolo can fit the convo in between her pedicure and eyebrow wax?)
Back in Florida, with the fun day at the alligator feedin’ farm over, Nicole and May head to the grocery store to shop for healthy food because Nicole assured Azan she’d lose some weight before their next rendezvous. During the shopping trip, Nicole stops in the middle of the produce section to FaceTime Azan to show him that she’s standing among fruits and vegetables and clearly living that fit life.
While May runs around the store (probably looking for an escape) Nicole tells Azan about her family grilling her on their still-unmarried status and tells him that her dad wants to meet him. Azan says he doesn’t want to meet Tyler but he feels like he has to.
I think that’s nice…
Next we check back in with Elizabeth and Andrei as they talk about what went down during Elizabeth and her dad Chuck’s coffee date. Elizabeth tells Andrei that her dad was mad that they aren’t maintaining the free house they’re living in and that he called them ungrateful. Andrei is immediately enraged. Andrei says the only solution is to move out of the house they’re living in rent-free and not tell Chuck until it’s already happened.
YEAH! That’ll show him, Andrei! Stop moochin’ off Chuck’s free house. What’s next to punish him? NOT letting him pay your cell phone bill?
Elizabeth reminds him that they don’t exactly have the funds to follow through with his drastic plan at the moment. Andrei doesn’t seem to understand what the issue is and assures Elizabeth he’ll work his “ass off” to make it happen… even though he is still unemployed and said “ass” is still firmly attached to the (free) couch at their (free) home.
Back in Pennsylvania, Ashley arrives home from the night out with her ex to find Jay chilling on the couch playing with a squishy. Jay says he’s been messaging Ashley all night but she hasn’t picked up her phone. When asked what she had been up to, Ashley tells Jay she was out with her “friend” Mikey.
Upon hearing that Mikey also happens to be Ashley’s ex, Jay is pissed and accuses Ashley of doing this as payback. Ashley assures him she didn’t cheat and that she only met with Mikey to get some advice…on how to cheat, probably.
Jay asks Ashley how she would feel if he talked to an ex from Jamaica and Ashley tells him she would have preferred he do that than try to hook up with a random girl from a dating app.
Back at the courthouse in Las Vegas, Larissa’s trial has ended and she happily announces that she is “free like a bird” and the case was dismissed. Larissa says having Debbie with her at the trial made her feel like she had a friend and she vows to make things right between the two of them, no matter how many margaritas she’ll need to make it happen.
Now that Larissa’s trial has been dismissed, she’s determined to make things better with both Debbie and Colt. Colt is ready to make amends as well, which he proves by bringing Larissa some grocery store roses and greeting her with an awkward hug. They both decide to move on from the incident, and with Larissa and Debbie’s rekindled friendship, Colt happily looks forward to many margarita nights to come.
Before leaving for the Dominican Republic, Pedro has to visit the immigration office to discuss renewing his Green Card and he brings Chantel along with him. During the meeting, Pedro also mentions the mysterious business he wants to start in the Dominican Republic. Chantel is not on board with The Mysterious Business Pedro.
The two begin to argue (yet again) and Pedro decides to ask “for a friend” what would happen if one were to receive their Green Card and then decide to get a divorce.
Chantel then wants to know if “a couple” did happen to get a divorce, if the spouse that is a U.S. citizen would still be responsible for the other party, which the immigration agent confirms.
“I’ll be damned if I pay for your ass if we’re divorced,” Chantel tells Pedro.
Chantel is, however, happy to learn that a divorce could lead to an immigrant’s Green Card being revoked if it is determined that the marriage was not entered into in good faith.
Umm… did you hear that, Azan?
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