‘Sister Wives’ Season 14 Episode 9 Recap: A House In The Woods & A Relationship On The Rocks

Unhappy polygamists or struggling grunge band from the ’90s? 

Brush the snow off of your pyramid-scheme leggings and bust out the for-rent section of the newspaper (for the 15th time this season) — it’s time for another episode of Sister Wives! 

When we last checked in with the Brown family, Robyn had just received word that she was being kicked to the curb of her Flagstaff rental while Kody was frustrated with the still-undecided plans for Coyote Pass. (He was also trying to convince his wives that trailer/tent-life on the vacant land would be a solid backup until said plans were nailed down.)

Come on, Kody… between your bad call to move to Arizona without first selling your Vegas homes, to the multiple Polygamist Barbie Dream House presentations you forced upon everyone and that nest of Top-Ramen-esque strands you’re still trying to pass off as hair, it’s safe to say good decision-making just isn’t your jam. And to further prove that point, this week’s episode kicks off at the scene of last week’s fight, Coyote Pass, where Kody is treating his wives to a romantic picnic of pizza and bottled water. 

Nothing says “I love you x 4” quite like sharing a $5 pizza with the ones you hate, am I right?!

Really Kody? You couldn’t even spring for an order of cheesy bread?”

While picnicking among the pine cones, the family talks about Robyn’s upcoming move and how she’s struggling to find another rental. Not to be outdone in the “woe is me” department, Meri reveals that she, too, is being pushed out of her rental due to the owners wanting to sell and in six weeks she will need to move — her third move since originally leaving Las Vegas. 

WHERE DO THESE PEOPLE FIND THEIR RENTAL HOUSES!? Do they not sign leases? Is the demand for Flagstaff mansions really that high that all these owners are willing to break their leases with the Sister Wives in order to get that cash money?! 

“I asked the homeowners if I could just sleep on a cot inside the elevator but they didn’t go for it.”

Instead of suggesting the obvious– Meri and Robyn temporarily team up and move into a rental home together, instead of aimlessly searching for two more rentals— Kody suggests that Meri or Robyn look into buying a home.

Oh yes… because the five or so mortgages these people are already paying aren’t enough? Let’s tack on yet another!

Meri thinks it’s a terrible idea.

“I have no desire to buy, I think that would be stupid,” Meri tells Kody and the Sister Wives, before remembering that Christine purchased the current home she’s living in. “Oh, I’m not saying you’re stupid … I’m glad you’re secure!” 

This is why Meri doesn’t want her house in the trees; she provides plenty of shade on her own.

Robyn isn’t interested in buying either and starts to get emotional over the fact that Kody uprooted the family and basically strapped everyone in for what turned out to be a rollercoaster straight to Hell. To keep her from crying all over the cold pizza, Kody & Co. switch gears and start discussing where each of the sister wives’ houses will be built. Janelle stakes her claim at the exact spot they’re all sitting in, while Christine points to a nearby lot for her own home. 

They then ask Meri where the future Case de Leggings will be constructed, to which Meri says she’ll be setting up shop back in the woods… as in, the exact plot she recently told Kody she didn’t want. 

“Make up your mind Meri, or we’re all gonna be living in a four-room tent from the sporting goods store.”

In unison, Robyn and Kody express their confusion and proceed to tell Meri that Robyn called dibs on the plot once Meri said she didn’t want it.

Uh oh…. I can feel a Sister Wives catfish catfight brewing, y’all!

Meri tells them she never said she didn’t want to build there, she just wasn’t totally sure about it. (Although, to be fair, she did call the area “dark” and throw a hissy fit when Kody wanted to shove her into the Enchanted Forest.) 

That hostile question mark was a nice touch, editors.

Kody goes on to explain in his interview that he only wanted to put Meri in the woods because she loves trees and you know Kody… he always has Meri’s best interest in mind!

Now, however, Kody is confused, Robyn is on the verge of breaking out in stress-induced hives and Meri is mentally building her LuLaRoe mansion’s elevator right in the spot Kody was planning to make sexy time with Robyn. 

“Guys, hold up. I’ve got an idea. What if we just built like…I don’t know…one big house or something? Give me a sec, I’ll go get my posterboard and flesh this idea out!” 

While walking around the most depressing place on earth property, Janelle hangs back with Robyn a bit and pretty much co-signs everything Kody is saying about Meri not wanting the property. Robyn adds that Kody told her the plot in the woods was the only option left and that she more or less had to take it because Meri didn’t want it, which Meri again says was never the case. 

“Oh Robyn, stop your sobbing and let’s Jello wrestle for the tree fortress.”

Meri tells Robyn she isn’t mad at her and Kody jumps in to tell Meri that she also shouldn’t be mad at him because he’s pretty much given her first choice of the whole property. Umm… sure, Jan Kody. 

Robyn ends up getting flustered by the slightest sign of confrontation so she speaks her peace and then tearfully stumbles her way back to her car without giving Meri a chance to give her rebuttal. Shortly after, Meri follows suit, announcing to the group that she has a rental house to find. 

“If these two don’t make up, does that mean we get to split this place down the middle? But you get Kody, OK?”

After Robyn has had a moment to stop crying cool off, she returns to the Coyote Pass property to confront Kody and ask him why he told her that Meri didn’t want the plot in the woods. Kody reiterates that Meri told him she didn’t want to live in the woods and Janelle jumps in to back him up once again. 

Raise your hand if you’re campaigning harder than a presidential candidate to be your husband’s favorite wife…

Kody tells Robyn that Meri “changes her mind all the time.” 

“It’s a game for 30 years of my life,” he adds. 

Kody is no longer even trying to hide his disdain for Meri. If I were Meri, I’d be packing up my hobo sack full of cash and leggings and hitchhiking my way back to Sin City to start a new life. She could buy herself a Vegas house, plant some trees, install a wetbar and live happily ever after away from Kody and his rat’s nest, Sobbin’ Robyn, Yes-Man Janelle and Christine’s constant need to do family flash mobs.

“I mean…actually, that doesn’t sound too bad…”

Janelle chimes in once again to say she was relieved when she found out Robyn was getting the property in the woods because it’s the lot closest to the pond and she believes the chaos would have been a nuisance to Meri. 

Wait…what? Apparently Janelle thinks Meri would come out in her bathrobe, shaking a broom, any time she heard kids playing at the pond and scream, “All y’all kids get away from my pond, ya hear?!” (Now that’s TV I’d happily watch!) 

Robyn says she doesn’t want to fight with literally anyone over literally anything Meri over the property, which angers Kody because he feels like Robyn is sitting back and getting the “s**t end of the stick” — something we thought Robyn had already done upon accepting Kody’s marriage proposal.

Kody says Meri is doing to Robyn what she’s done to Janelle and Christine for years.

The upside to all of this? Kody might get mad enough to pull his awful hair out.

“She won’t be happy unless she has all of you bowing at her feet waiting for her to decide what she wants,” Kody says, while Robyn and Christine attempt to stop him mid-rant.

“Meri is my sister wife and I’m always going to try to work stuff out with her, even if it’s not easy,” Robyn says. 

Robyn later tells us that she doesn’t mind taking Meri’s (or anyone else’s) “table scraps” (as Kody calls it) because she’s “not a victim here!”

“Does this look like the face of a victim to you?!”

Wow…that may be the first time anyone on this show denied they were being victimized. 

“Meri can take what everyone else doesn’t want!” Kody says, adding that Robyn shouldn’t get the leftovers every time.

Kody starts aggressively loading stuff into his van, grunting vigorously out of anger, so Christine suggests all of the Sister Wives sit down with Kody later and start from scratch on the house-plot ordeal. Kody agrees but later admits he’s sick of trying to make people (aka Meri) happy who will never be happy. Instead of being the kind and generous individual he claims he is, Kody says he should tell people (again, Meri), “this is what you get and that’s it. Suck it up, buttercup.” 

“This is my mad face.”

The next day, Christine and Janelle meet up to walk at a nearby trail and gossip about the mess that is their lives. While popping a squat on a log, Janelle proposes to Christine the idea of the family turning the pond area at Coyote Pass into some sort of park that the entire family can have access to, though she admits Kody isn’t too crazy about the idea. 

“You had my full support at ‘Kody hates it.'”

Janelle hints that the park suggestion may come up the next day when the wives sit down with Kody, but at least now with Christine’s possible support, she won’t have to take the sole blame for it.  

The next day, the Sister Wives pile into a living room and await Kody’s arrival from his attorney’s office. After lots of awkward silence, Kody makes his entrance and tells the wives he has great news regarding the Coyote Pass property. 

He’s wearing a blazer and has his mop all pulled into a Ramen ponytail, so you know he means business!

“If this ponytail doesn’t say ‘business’ I don’t know what does!” 

Due to the lack of rentals in the area, Kody’s attorney tells him they could build houses on Coyote Pass, never move into them and make a killing selling them.

Um…wasn’t Kody just trying to give the plots away for FREE to anyone who would take them?

Robyn doesn’t like the fact that Kody is talking “like a businessman” more than a family man, while Christine flat-out tells him they should probably focus more on moving to the property themselves. (Janelle doesn’t say anything because we can assume she’s distracted by her tingling no-no region, due to the ponytailed Kody.) 

After avoiding the conversation about possibly turning Coyote Pass into Kody’s personal colony of rental homes, Janelle decides now is a good time to bring up her park plan again. Almost immediately, Kody tells her they can’t separate the forest or pond, but each element will have easements that allow access for the wives and kids.

Next up on the obligatory family meeting agenda is an apology to Meri from Robyn, who says she didn’t mean to storm off in such a tizzy after their “argument” that week. 

“For the record, I’d also like to apologize for letting you wear that corgi and soccer ball shirt on TV.”

The group then dives back into the “Kody-said, Meri-said” misunderstanding from before, with Meri attempting yet again to explain to Kody that she never said she wanted to give up the property in the woods, even though she kind of did say that. (After consulting last week’s recap, we realize that Meri did complain about how “dark” the area was and was generally huffy that Kody would want her to live in the woods.)

Meri tells the group she needs the conversation to not be an attack on her and that Kody’s face is making her feel like it is one. 

FYI, we also feel attacked by this and all other faces Kody makes…

Christine points out that they haven’t even had a surveyor out to the property yet, so technically this entire conversation (and episode) could have been for absolutely nothing. Meri seems less-willing to let the whole plot debacle go, as does Kody, who makes a note that Robyn was the only one who apologized for what went down on the property.

Meri never said she was sorry and is, according to Kody, therefore the absolute worst… (Also in the running for being the worst? Kody, his hair, and his complete lack of self-awareness. Oh, and Meri’s sporty corgi shirt.)

That’s all for this week! 

On next week’s episode, Robyn and Kody argue about what rental house God wants them to get (no, seriously), and then pack up their junk and haul it to a home that Robyn doesn’t want to buy. Also, the kids (‘member them?) start reacting negatively to all the frequent moving and uprooting.

To read The Ashley’s previous ‘Sister Wives’ recap, click here! 

(Photos: TLC) 

27 Responses

  1. MEANFACE……They’ve moved that many times…..on Kody’s orders…..that i don’t think any of them Kody included, know why they left either !.
    Its ridiculous!

  2. [* Shield plugin marked this comment as “Trash”. Reason: Failed Bot Test (expired) *]
    Y’all need to go to the four corners of the world and start over leave the narcissist behind(male that acts like a spoilt brat) and live in ☮️

  3. These women are driving the viewers nuts. Cody let the bats out of the cave when he had the great idea to allow them all to live separately, which the three originals wives were initially against. They went along with him on it because “Cody leads our family and with God’s guidance, everything always works out.” Now they are revolting against the same principals they espoused were so great about plural marriage.

    I feel they all have received what they asked for. You cannot give a man or woman total control, then lash out when you’ve gotten a taste of freedom and individuality- realizing you screwed yourself. Freedom and individuality- two things that are in direct opposition to the basic guidelines of plural marriage. Even Cody’s cut and paste version.

    1. Honestly, I think it is because Cody finally opened his eyes and saw just how much control he had actually lost. So, let’s uproot the kids, say it is God’s plan, and move 4 women who can only tolerate one another in small doses, into the same house! Oi vey.

  4. I must have missed why after building their beautiful homes in Vegas, why are they moving again. Jody is an idiot.

  5. First of all, how any one of these women can find Kody attractive with his 70’s mustache and perm is beyond me. Secondly, the fact that Robyn is morphing into an 80’s newscaster before our very eyes does not bode well for her relationship with Kody. Unless she pops out another baby in the next couple of years, her time as favorite wife will be over, as Kody will be looking for wife #5.

  6. Kody is an ass and Mary and Robyn need to leave him, the way he talks about Mary behind her back makes me sick and the way he talks about Robyn to their kids makes me sick, he’s an over grown tantrum 2yr.old everything that comes out of his mouth is crap, he thinks he’s all that and he isn’t, his wives and his kids are better then him and smarter, the wives could do better

    1. MEANFACE……They’ve moved that many times…..on Kody’s orders…..that i don’t think any of them Kody included, know why they left either !.
      Its ridiculous!

  7. If SISTER WIVES comes out as a Monopoly game based on this whole house drama, be sure that Kodi’s house is right with the JAIL SPOT and his special card says “Go directly to YOUR HOUSE and do NOT have anymore children!”

  8. This is the very best article I have read on Fb in a very long time! I laughed out loud, snickered – and thoroughly enjoyed reading all of this – which is so “spot-on,” with a whole handful of sarcasm thrown in to add to the enjoyment!

  9. The whole STUPID argument over who’s house goes where is all Kody’s fault! He asked Meri “ you want to be in the woods, right?” She shrugged and said “ I don’t know”.. he did say we have to decide soon.
    Kody offered Meri first dibs on the wooded lot, she didn’t ask for it.
    This guy just loves drama , especially between the women. The obvious thing to do was to ask Meri to make up her mind before he gave it to Robyn, Robyn also knew it was going to start shit.
    I haven’t watched as long as a lot of you on here, to me it’s Robyn that wants everything her way.. I think her fondness of all the wives is fake.

  10. I haven’t watched this show in years but love reading these recaps. This seems like the most miserable family ever. If this show isn’t a case against plural marriage then I don’t know what is, yeesh!

  11. I’m pretty sure this is the best recap of any episode you’ve done to date. I was HOWLING.

  12. Give me a break sobyn my how does it feel to be treated like the rest of the wives instead of the chosen one

  13. Kody is a tyrant and he bullies anyone that doesn’t agree with him and says “that’s what God says”. Maybe, just maybe a logical person wouldn’t leave 4 homes they already had because Kody got a wild hair up his ass and decided he couldn’t live without beautiful mountains and scenery. Houses for my multiple wives and kids…who cares? Uprooting my many children, who cares? Let’s pay 27 different mortgages for shits and giggles. Kids stability? Who’s paying attention to that?? I don’t feel sorry for the wives but these kids…especially Brianna with her panic attacks. Can you imagine the stress and uncertainty this brings to the kids if the five “adults” are tearing into each other?

  14. So is the coyote pass property still empty to this day? Are they still all just in a constant state or moving/renting/buying? Because I cannot keep enduring this endless story line. They’re either filming standing around that empty lot or sitting on couches at Christine’s. I can’t keep listening to this same argument.
    As for MERI, I really don’t know what is keeping her around (besides filming this show). She can just pack a bag and move to wherever she wants. She is literally bound by nothing. I’m sure tlc cameras would follow her doing her own thing after living the polygamy life.

  15. Ever sense the catfish ,Meri has been treated badly by the rest of the family , she just needs to move away , he was been bullying her for awhile

  16. “It’s a game for 30 years of my life”

    “She won’t be happy unless she has all of you bowing at her feet waiting for her to decide what she wants”

    Please Kody tell us more!

  17. Yet another hilarious recap. Thanks! I don’t mind anymore, that I can’t see these new episodes. Ashley’s recaps are much better.

    1. He’s not. They said in an episode that they “don’t live together right now” I wonder if he even goes to Jenelle’s? Also, FYI, someone in one of my FB groups drove by the property a few days ago, and it looked like there was NO construction going on at all! The current episodes are a year old, so it’s been 2 years of nothing but moving in and out of rentals!

  18. I still cannot be Meri fan. She is stubborn she does get her way a lot…She had the biggest house with the least amount of children.. she had the biggest rental… She wanted to use family money so start her B and B but did not want to include her sister wives nor her husband… She’s been traditionally very stubborn and selfish person years and so was Mariah.. Moriah came around at the last few years when she got in a happy and healthy relationship. Not to mention..she’s a cheater.. Whether you agree with their lifestyles or not they know the rules and they signed up for that She definitely steps outside her marriage..that’s when things went to syhte.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Share the Post:

Related Posts