‘Teen Mom OG’ Season 9B Episode 23 Recap: A New Baby & Getting Off the Couch (Maybe)

“You don’t know how hard it is to peel this thing off my butt after days and days of firm indentation!”

It’s once again time to head down into TeenMomVille, where the unplanned pregnancies are plentiful and the couches are well-worn.

This is a very special week on Teen Mom OG, as a youngin will be slip-slidin’ down the baby chute of Cheyenne. Let’s get right to the Pitocin- and placenta-filled fun!

For our first stop, we head to Los Angeles. When we check in with Cheyenne this week, she’s “epiduraled up,” as Zach puts it. MTV cameras were not invited in to film the spawn expulsion, but Cheyenne’s mom, Zach and Zach’s dad Terry–- who scored a last minute invite to the birthin’ party–- are there to witness the fun.

You’ll never see a man more thrilled to be sitting next to a biohazard waste trashcan than our boy, Terry. He is having a great time and seems to be shocked that he snagged the last viewing spot in the hospital room.

“As soon as that nurse turns around, I’ll sneak in the boom box, barbecue and popcorn machines and turn this birth into a tailgate party!” 

Back at the house, those who didn’t make the cut— Cheyenne’s sister, R You Really Making Me Watch You Give Birth Via FaceTime?, her dad, Ryder and Baaz–— check in to see if the baby is ready to rip through Cheyenne’s nether regions.

After some dramatic music, we cut back to the hospital annnnnd right to Cheyenne’s crotch. We are getting the full play-by-play from the stirrups

Hey Cate, we think Cheyenne’s dad might need the number of your therapy horse guy.

After some more blurry baby chute shots, baby Ace slides on out and make his MTV debut. 

Welcome to the world, Ace! You’re officially the co-star of a rill woman, a boy that bites his classmates, and a redhead who thinks beer is a food group.

Back at Cheyenne’s house, Cheyenne’s dad Kyle pulls Ryder away from her Cory Challenge Barbie doll to let her know her little brother has arrived. Ryder seems less-than-enthused by her new little bro. 

Cheyenne and her dad keep talking about how awful Chey’s labor with Ryder was…right in front of the kid! Ryder just has this sad look on her face, almost like she’s trying to figure out how to apologize for weed-wacking her mama’s lady garden four years ago.

“I’d rather pass 10 kidney stones and listen to Cory talk about his ‘Challenge’ strategies than give birth to you again, Ryder. But, you know, love ya!” 

The next day, Cheyenne and Zach make it home with baby Ace, and Ryder and Baaz welcome him with some head pats. 

After settling in for about 3 seconds, Cheyenne starts to realize how difficult it will be balancing a newborn and a four-year-old– something she probably should’ve considered about 10 months ago. Fortunately, Cory has made it back home from ‘The Challenge’ and will soon be there to lighten the load/steal some camera time. 

Same.

Down in Florida, Mackenzie is taking a break from calling Josh a dick and trying to get her kids to do something other than crap in garages, run away and bite people. She decides to confront her dad, Brad, about his unhealthy lifestyle.

Before confronting her dad, Mackenzie talks to her brother Zeke, who reveals Brad has been neglecting his diabetes and feeling depressed. Mackenzie tells her brother she understands why their dad isn’t in a good place because he’s “missing his other half.” Mackenzie decides– for reasons completely unknown– that it would be beneficial for Brad to come to Florida for a visit. 

…because things are going so well at the McKee household? 

Misery Mackenzie loves company.

Later on, Mackenzie wrangles her (literal) ankle biters for a FaceTime call with their grandpa. When Brad picks up the phone, Mackenzie & Co. catch him mid-McDonald’s run, much to Mackenzie’s dismay. Brad tells Mackenzie he’s only dining on McDonald’s mystery meat because he’s pretending that his grandkids are eating it with him… which says a lot about Mackenzie’s cooking. 

“I ordered the Mickey D’s 3 McKee Special. You know… it’s when the person at the drive thru bare-hands your burger, chews up half of it, spits it onto the floor and then wipes their hands on the back of your shirt.”

As Brad drives off with his meal-o-shame, Mackenzie tells him she’s going to arrange for him to visit her and her sun-kissed rugrats in Florida, with her sister serving as his travel escort/food monitor. 

Meanwhile, in Tennessee, Maci‘s come down with another case of the “females.”

Does anyone think this footage is from the same day a few episodes ago that Maci was hung over um…sick from PCOS PTSD? The clothing they’re wearing is suspiciously similar to the clothes they were wearing in that other episode. Come on, MTV, buck up and hire Ryan & Co. back! We need some drama. This show will sink faster than Jenelle‘s house on The Land if every episode focuses on Maci’s ovaries. 

Anyway, because Maci’s laid up, Taylor‘s frantically trying to figure out how in the hell he’s going to collect all of the Oopsie Babies from their various sporting activities and schoolings. He gets out his “Things That Matter” notebook and draws out a game plan that puts him picking up Bentley at cheese-rolling practice, and Maverick at his lawn-mower racing match. However, that leaves Jayde stranded at underwater knitting lesson! 

“Don’t they have some sorta Kiddy Uber or something? I’ve gotta get ’em kids!”

Taylor calls up one of their trusty pals and, luckily, he picks one who appears to be sober even though it’s already afternoon. (Phew!) Maci’s pal Ashley tells Taylor she’ll be happy to throw on a “Things That Matter” jersey and head on over to pick up Jayde. 

Taylor’s feeling pretty good about himself, having figured out a way to transport all of the Oopsie Babies but, a few days later, Maci’s bitchin’ mad!

“I have a bone to pick with you,” Maci tells Taylor. (Naturally she waits until the cameras are there to pick said bone…)

Taylor, most likely already knowing that his wife is about to verbally circumcise him for literally no reason, continues to look on his laptop. (We can assume he’s reading WikiHow articles on the topic “How to get your wife to stop bitching at you.”) 

She’s basically sitting on the couch screaming that she’s “a good mom.” (Oh crap. I thought we had switched over to Amber‘s segment for a second!) She tells Taylor that, while it was nice of him to give her ovaries the day off from shuttling Oopsies in the minivan, she doesn’t want anyone else raisin’ her babies! 

Maci says that on the day she was “sick or whatever” Taylor had no right to call up a friend and ask for help.

“Emphasis on ‘whatever.'”

“I would prefer it not happen again!” Maci barks. “You and I both take a lot of pride in showing up for our kids, being there for our kids, no matter what.”

Taylor looks dumbfounded. He explains that he was trying to help Maci out and be kind. Maci, however, seems to be taking his actions as an assault on her mothering skills. Taylor’s being careful not to clap back at Maci for being an ungrateful wench (because the cameras are there and all).

“For real, does anyone have an extra Things That Matter shirt I can bite on to keep myself from exploding on this chick?”

Maci says it’s no fair that Taylor’s getting mad at her for being mad at him.

“I mean, I think it’s ridiculous!” Taylor protests.

“Been there. Better get used to, buddy!”

Finally, Taylor’s had enough and gets up, stating that he needs to go fetch an Oopsie Baby. He walks out the door and you just know he went and crushed a six-pack of Bud Lights (and then crushed the cans on his head) in anger.

Maci sits smugly on the couch, angry that anyone has dared to disagree with her.

“What did he want me to say!? THANK YOU?! Geez, what nerve he has!” 

Next, we go over to Michigan and see what’s new in the Octagon ‘o’ Trauma. Catelynn and Tyler are still recovering from their visit with Carly, but Cate doesn’t have time to think about that because she will be expelling yet another Female Spawn ‘o’ Tyler from her vagine in just eight weeks. 

Cate says she wants some “quality couple time” with Tyler before the “focus is on the kids full-time.”

Um…you already have two kids, girl. Shouldn’t you already be there?

Catelynn asks Tyler if they can go on a “babymoon” before the new spawn arrives. She says she wants to go back to the place in Puerto Rico they went with Maci and Amber (and their beaus) years ago. Whenever The Ashley thinks of that trip, she can only see this:

Who could forget this monstrosity from the Puerto Rico trip…?

Catelynn gets busy looking up flights but Tyler has to remind her that, you know, they already have two Carly Clones to unload before they can go on vacation. Catelynn assures Ty that April (and her new sassy haircut) will watch a Clone, and his mom Kim would help out, too.

Tyler laments that, once the third Carly Clone barrels through Catelynn’s loins, Vacation Time will be over for them.

Um…can Carly come over and help Tyler with his grammar?

“When’s the last time when we didn’t have no kids?” Cate asks.

Thanks to that pile ‘o’ MTV money Ty and Cate have in their Octagon, they are able to jet out on a moment’s notice to some far-off, exotic place that is both baby-free and Butch-free.

The next day, though, their babymoon plans are on hold when April reveals that she’s too busy to watch the Clones. They’ve put all their vacation eggs in Kim’s basket, hoping she’ll watch both Clones so they can babymoon bone in peace.

Sadly, though, Catelynn and Tyler are told by Kim that she has to, you know, work and can’t just watch a boatload of kids at a moment’s notice so they can go on yet another vacation.

Go figure! (Also, are people even allowed to say the word ‘work’ on this show? Isn’t that a contract violation or something?) 

“Work? Like, who even works anymore? Just wait for your MTV check to arrive, ya know?” 

Tyler tells Cate that people with a bunch of kids don’t usually get to go on “babymoons” anyway. He reminds her that no one is gonna watch three kids for them. Catelynn is disappointed that she’ll have to spend the last few months of her pregnancy at the Octagon with a bunch of screaming Carly Clones.

Finally, we head to Indiana to check in with Amber. Apparently, Purdue University isn’t having any more online flash sales for college swag, so Amber’s trying to figure out how to fill her time. She decides that her new goal is to get Gary to go to counseling with her so that he can understand her better and not hold all the selfish crap she did/does against her…or something.

She wraps an ACE bandage around her head and texts up Gar to inform him of this new plan.

“My Purdue headbands better be here by the time we go to therapy, or I’m gonna get ‘rill woman’ on someone’s ass at the Purdue online gift shop!”

Amber says that she hopes getting Gary therapied will convince him to let Leah go to therapy too.

Gary takes Kristina out back to inform her of Amber’s latest desire, and that he plans to go.

“Once again I get put on the back burner!” Kristina said, quickly changing her tone to make it sound like she was joking.

Gary has no clue why Kristina feels back-burnered, and seems to be confused as to why she doesn’t want him to devote even more time to Amber’s wants, needs and “fillins.”

Gary says that he won’t go if Kristina doesn’t want him to. (Of course, that means he may have to dodge a TV or two once Amber hears the news.) He asks her if he should go.

Kristina didn’t answer at first, but then mutters, “If it’s gonna help.”

Literally everything about Kristina is screaming “F that biotch” but, because she’s an actual saint, she doesn’t want to do anything that hurts Leah.

“Not gonna lie, I’d trade in my sainthood to get one good punch in.”

Gary asked Kristina again if he should go, telling her, “If you don’t want me to go, then I won’t go.”

“I’m not going to stop you!” Kristina answered. 

She did, however, want to know if the therapy session would be about the co-parenting of Leah, to which Gary replied that the session would probably be more about Amber and understanding her mental health issues.

“That way I don’t hold things against her!” Gary says. “I can get a little insight into her.”

“But, you know…don’t hold that against her, Gar.”

Kristina looks like she’s about to go ‘rill woman’ on Gary. Gary has been getting ‘insight’ into Amber and her ways for over a decade. I think you know everything you need to know, man.

Gary reveals that he and Amber went to a counselor years ago, back when they were still together and Amber was still beating on him. Gary says that the counselor told Amber to stop getting physical with Gary or it could make Leah more likely to seek out a violent partner later in life. He also told her that her violence could have legal ramifications.

Gary tells Kristina he knows that she’ll understand because…actual saint.

“Also, me putting up with Amber on camera pays the bills and stuff…”

Gary admits that it sucks that he’s basically bound to Amber until LeahBooBoo is 18 and/or she gets a restraining order to keep Amber away from her, whichever comes first.

Back in Los Angeles, Cory is coming home to celebrate getting yet another participation trophy on ‘The Challenge.’ Cory’s homecoming coincidently falls on Father’s Day, and even though Cheyenne gave birth four seconds ago, she can’t turn down the opportunity to throw a party.

While this particular celebration will be light on bounce houses, professional decorations and live entertainment, it will still give Cheyenne an excuse to flex her party planner muscle. More importantly, it will give Cory a reason to shift the focus of an episode centered around a whole human being born back to his favorite thing: his damn self. 

Before the Father’s Day festivities begin, the dads and other male family members (minus Cory) sit around and talk about fatherhood. During the talk, Cheyenne’s dad tells the group it’s especially important to him to as a Black man to have broken the stigma often put on Black fathers and how Zach will also be a setting an example for the next generation to come. 

“OK, so who screwed up and forgot to order the helicopter for this party?”

He also tells Zach he’s “passed all the tests” with him before getting up from the table to give Zach a hug. 

As the Father’s Day celebration continues, Cory arrives at Cheyenne’s house and surprises Ryder with a big sign and zero prize money. 

“In case you can’t tell by my homemade sign, I didn’t take home the grand prize money, Ry.”

Meanwhile, in Oklahoma, Mack is preparing for her dad and sister to arrive for their visit. Unfortunately, there is clothing, candy and (possibly literal) crap all over Casa de McKee. Mackenzie is stressed, trying to clean up her house just enough so that it isn’t condemned by the city while her family is in town. 

Mackenzie goes on to state the obvious: the chore chart she created for her pack of wild children “hasn’t been working.” 

“Umm… does anyone have a blindfold we can give Papa? That should do the trick.”

Despite the popsicle-covered floor and dirty, well… everything, Mackenzie is super excited to see family members that won’t argue with her/disrespect her on camera for a change. She shoves all the old food and broken toys and whatnot into closets and under beds and gets the house presentable by the time her family arrives. 

“And, good news, guys! Those gas masks I told you to pack won’t be necessary! I CLEANED!” 

As Mackenzie’s family settle into her sticky house, she sits down with her dad to talk about “his sugars.” She takes him ’round back, where the youngins are busy stirring some sort of mosquito-filled pool of water with random sticks…as you do.

Brad admits to Mackenzie that he’s let his health slide since her mom passed away, and Mackenzie says she struggles with it herself, despite what people may think. 

Um…no, we don’t…

Brad knows he needs to do something about his health to prevent his kids and grandkids from losing someone else in their life. He and Mackenzie decide to do something about it together, as long as it doesn’t involve any sort of chart. 

Meanwhile, back in Tennessee, things at the MTV Mansion are tense. They joke that MTV is going to be making a storyline out of how crappy their relationship is. (And…here we are…)

“Our relationship may suck but this will make a GREAT storyline!”

Taylor says he reached out to trusty “Dr. Carol” to see if she can give them some couples counseling.

Later that day, Maci and Taylor retreat into the rec room to talk to Dr. Carol. (Bentley and Maverick— sporting twin banged mullets, as you do— watch nervously from the door.)

“I reckon this ain’t a good time to ask for a haircut, Mav.”

Maci explains that she wants her fights with Taylor to be quick, precise and…you know…end with him agreeing with her. Taylor says that he lets Maci’s crap slide way more than he should.

Dr. Carol tells them that they should work on communicating in a way that doesn’t “terrify” the other person.

I think that’s nice…

Sadly, Dr. Carol doesn’t tell Maci that she was being completely unreasonable and ridiculous. They decide that the best time for Maci to complain to Taylor is after she bones him in the morning.

I think that’s nice…

Dr. Carol also stresses that Maci and Taylor make sure to carve out some “beer time” for each other.

“Oh, I reckon we got that covered, Doc!”

Maci says she wants more Taylor Time and that “sometimes it’s annoying because I just like him so much!” 

Taylor responds with the fakest laugh humanly possible. He is, however, relieved that there will at least be beer.

Meanwhile in Michigan, Tyler sees how disappointed Catelynn is about not getting a fourth babymoon, so he heads out to the Therapy Horse Stables. He calls up Kim and tells her he wants to surprise Catelynn with a romantical dinner outside the Octagon. Kim says it’s a great idea (because it doesn’t involve her watching the Clones while Cate and Ty are “livin’ la vida loca” thousands of miles away in Puerto Rico.)

Later, as Tyler is preparing the surprise dinner, Cate is tucking the kids into bed. Tyler is so excited for Catelynn to see what he’s done, so he calls her out.

“What the hell is this for?” she asks as she walks to the table, which is lit up with candles and covered in her favorite flowers.

Catelynn reacts with little to no enthusiasm. You would have thought that someone just asked her to give Gary a vasectomy or something.

“Do you love it?!” Tyler asks, pointing out that he’s got all her favorites set out for her.

“Yeah. It’s cool. Thanks babe,” she responds.

“It’s no seven-point Puerto Rican quesadilla but, you know, it’ll do.”

UM!!?? What’s with these bitoches being ungrateful to their super-sweet husbands. I think they need to be married to ol’ Matt Baier for a week or two to really appreciate what they have! 

Tyler keeps desperately trying to sell Catelynn on the dinner, since he’s clearly put so much time and effort into it. Catelynn, realizing that she is gonna look like a dick on TV if she doesn’t show some appreciation, then tells Ty he will be rewarded for his efforts.

“You deserve a blowie!” she tells him.

JESUS GOD LEAH. I DID NOT NEED TO HEAR THAT…OR PICTURE THAT.

“I mean, I ain’t gonna give you one, but you DO deserve one!”

They toast to their love (and the fact that they no longer have to live under Butch and April’s unstable roof.) 

Finally, we head to Indiana one more time. For some reason, Gary has to go to Ambie’s house to inform her that he’ll go to counseling with her. (Texting must be down in Indiana?) 

They small talk about how much Gary sweats while “doing his garden.”

Now that’s a mental picture I didn’t need…

“That’ll make you lose weight, sweatin’ and s**t!” Amber declares.

Seriously, these two are made for each other…

Amber’s surprised to hear that Gary will go to therapy with her. She also reminds him that she doesn’t just have mental illnesses but she has the top mental illnesses.

(Honestly, is there anything more “Amber” than what I just typed?!) 

She then launches into how much effort she has to put in just to shovel her backside off her couch every once in a while. (I mean, otherwise she’ll get pressure sores and stuff.) 

A few days later, Gary has to pick up Amber (naturally) and haul her ass to the therapy appointment. We’ll have to wait until next episode to see what Amber guilts Gary into doing next! 

That’s all for this episode of ‘Teen Mom OG!’ To read The Ashley’s recap of the previous episode, click here!

(Photos: MTV) 

 

 

23 Responses


  1. Maci showed up so hung over she was unable to be on a reuion show without the MTV producers getting medical help. This was in January and she gave birth to a full term baby that May. Google maci hang over cocktail and the ashley reality round up. The girl writing these reviews was personally there. That’s why she is pretty sure the Girl is hung over. It is not the first time she was too hung over to film its actually pretty normal.

    Its like when leah was drugged out of her mind all the time. Everybody knew about leah being a drug addict just like everyone on set knows Maci is a alcholic. They know because they have to cover for her. For some reason it just isn’t highlighted on camera.


  2. Great summary.
    I would only add that it’s obvious to me that Maci is in a clinical depression and at this point needs antidepressants to bring on a reset.
    Despite all the slams, I see no evidence of alcoholism.I keep asking posters to point out what I may have missed..
    But no one does.

    Gary is being manipulated again by Amber.
    Time for Kristina to speak up.
    Amber has been seeing this Dr for years and this is the level of improvement??
    She has manipulated him. He’s not very good.


    1. I still laugh when I think about him lying on the sand like a beached whale as he gets pummeled by the waves. Such a gross dude.


      1. Maci showed up so hung over she was unable to be on a reuion show without the MTV producers getting medical help. This was in January and she gave birth to a full term baby that May. Google maci hang over cocktail and the ashley reality round up. The girl writing these reviews was personally there. That’s why she is pretty sure the Girl is hung over. It is not the first time she was too hung over to film its actually pretty normal.

        Its like when leah was drugged out of her mind all the time. Everybody knew about leah being a drug addict just like everyone on set knows Maci is a alcholic. They know because they have to cover for her. For some reason it just isn’t highlighted on camera.


  3. I used to love Tyler & Cate, but what have they done with their lives? Absolutely nothing! I’m rewatching from the beginning of Teen Mom because we have Paramount & even Farrah had a real job & went to school at one point. I’m pretty sure Maci did finish college & she also worked a real job in the beginning. Heck even Amber worked in a salon briefly. These 2 have never even worked which makes me think without MTV, they’d be living off welfare. They both need to grow up & do something with their lives. This show isn’t going to be around forever with ratings dropping like they are.


    1. In season 2 or 3, Tyler worked as a pizza delivery guy and Cait worked at a boutique, but I have no idea how long either of them lasted. Not very long it seems. I wonder what happened with Tyler’s schooling? He went to college for at least a semester, maybe a year, but that’s it. They both have all the time in the world, and money to pay for it, so there’s no excuse. It really is embarrassing that they’ve been on TV for 12 years and have done nothing with their lives….


  4. How are Cate and Tyler thinking about going on another vacation when they owe the IRS like a million dollars? Seriously, they can go to jail. Are they doing it on purpose to get away from all their kids?
    Regarding Maci and Taylor, I agree she was being unreasonable but Taylor is not doing her a favor. They are his kids too, it’s called “parenting”


  5. Maci has hit that wall (typically in your 30’s) where the booze will only send you downhill so you can either continue your downward trudge into alcoholism or start trying to pick yourself up and focus on something else.
    And right now she’s just in denial.


  6. Why do I have a funny feeling Cate babytalks Tyler in the bedroom. He deserves a ‘blowie’. Wtf.


    1. I think so. If I remember correctly, she was driving last time she went to Gary’s to “spend time” with Leah. I only remember bc she was peeling wheels out of Gary’s driveway all while bitching that it was all a waste of time… mother of the year right there!!!


      1. So she does drive on occasion, but probably never to take her kids to doctor’s appointments, school or activities like a rill parent does.


  7. What a group of ungrateful entitled miserable bitches.

    Maci, dude let you lay in bed and took care of your kids. Thank you is the word you’re looking for.

    Catelynn lives in a fantasy world. She’s still 13 in the head.

    Mack has her head up her ass, she needs professional help. A maid, a nanny, a life organizer. But I dont think she’s a bad person.

    Amber. You have Gary wrapped around your finger. You’ll be the reason his marriage doesn’t work.


  8. u always turn these boring episodes nobody watches here anymore into absolute gems, all i did was laugh at the puns, this might be ur best one yet. loved it.


  9. This show….are they mind fucking us on purpose to see how long we will watch absolutely NOTHING?? I actually stopped watching 4 episodes ago, but I LIVE for these recaps.

    Maci wtf? If your husband doing you a favor is your biggest complaint, you have a hell of a life! Seriously tho, Maci has been refusing to show any of her real life, and these stupid segments are boring and contrived. We get it, ALL your kids do sports, and its hard to make it to all the games and get them rides. Edge of your seat TV!!!!

    Cate and Tyler… Im gonna sound like a mega-bitch when I say this, but when I hear about you wanting a “babymoon” away from your kids, when all the while you owe all that back tax money, I kind of want to read you for filth! Get your shit together, this show is on its last leg!

    Mack…Get a schedule, get a backbone, call supernanny.

    Gary…You’re making a huge mistake. Amber is manipulating you. Let Amber do Amber. Christina is your wife, and for NO reason do you need to go to therapy with your baby mama, unless Leah is present. This will come back to bite you in the ass.
    Leah has clearly stated she needs space from her mother, and there you are, doing the opposite. You’re not listening to your daughter OR your wife. Why are you listening to Amber? Idiot.

    Ashley…i love you more than Amber loves a bad headscarf.


    1. Great summary.
      I would only add that it’s obvious to me that Maci is in a clinical depression and at this point needs antidepressants to bring on a reset.
      Despite all the slams, I see no evidence of alcoholism.I keep asking posters to point out what I may have missed..
      But no one does.

      Gary is being manipulated again by Amber.
      Time for Kristina to speak up.
      Amber has been seeing this Dr for years and this is the level of improvement??
      She has manipulated him. He’s not very good.

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