‘Teen Mom 2’ Episode 3 Recap: Kesha Concert or the Clink?

Ever wonder what Babs would look like making a duckface? Here ya go!

Monday has come and gone (and so has Tuesday, for that matter), which means Teen Mom 2 fans have had a chance to watch the latest episode. We’ve got a lot to cover, so let’s stop having a “la de da” time and get right into it!

This week’s episode kicks off with Chelsea, who is super busy working, going to see Adam play on his motorcycle, planning Aubree’s birthday party and even hitting the books to study for the GED test.

Chelsea’s friend, Ashley, arrives to pick Chelsea up. Chelsea gleefully tells Ashley that Adam has moved some of his stuff into the garage, but, don’t worry, “He’s not exactly living here.” Yeah, you know, he’s just eating, sleeping and getting his pickle tickles there.

“Get the dumpster! It’s time for some spring cleaning!”

Chelsea’s dad, Randy, arrives to pick up Aubree for the day and after Chelsea leaves, Randy turns all Inspector Gadget and decides to snoop around a bit. (Well, technically, it’s not snooping, since Randy pretty much paid for everything in that house. I mean, we can all pretend that her whopping paycheck from working four shifts at the tanning salon funded everything, but why lie to ourselves?)

Anyway, Randy continues his snoop-a-thon, and finds a heap of Adam’s crap (including, but not limited to, an ample supply of old tires.) For some reason, MTV decided to play some creepy horror-movie-type music in the background of this scene. Really guys? Unless Babs is going to jump out from behind the hot water heater in a Michael Myers mask, let’s tone down the drama a little, ok?

Let’s hold up here for a sec. This whole time Randy is pawing through Adam’s crap heap, little Aubree is supposedly strapped in the car, by herself? We saw him strap her in, and then it appears he just leaves her outside alone. Great job editing this scene, MTV! As per usual, you’ve forgotten the kids of this show.

Randy calls Chelsea to explain why Adam’s stuff is there and she’s angry to find out he’s been snooping. She tells her friend that she’s, “so over the dad and Adam thing.” Um, that makes 2.5 million of us. New storyline please! Chelsea goes to watch Adam’s motorcycle race, and he’s just his usual ball of piss and vinegar, pretending he has no clue who Chelsea is.

“Are you tryin’ to say this outfit ain’t in style no more?”

Over in Leah’s neck of the woods, it’s time to make the divorce with Corey final. She takes the twins over to the supermarket parking lot to drop them off with Corey, and discovers that Corey has done got himself a brand new truck! He may have a new truck, but he’s still sporting that tired camo hat and lime green shirt. MTV, please give this kid a raise so he can go buy a new shirt. This outfit has seen better days!

Leah is upset that Corey’s purchased the truck, but this scene is just ridiculous. They are both pretending to fight, but they are smiling the whole time, and you can practically cut the sexual tension with a knife! I wouldn’t be surprised if they hopped in the back of that truck after this “fight” and had a little fun …for old times’ sake!

I guess the MTV camera guy wanted his moment in the ‘Teen Mom’ spotlight!

Meanwhile, Jenelle‘s facing 45 days in jail for failing her drug test, so she turns to her trusty friend Tori for a shoulder to lean on. Good to see that Tori doesn’t have any sort of permanent indentations in her forehead from the drumstick-beating incident from last season. Tori says that she’ll be Jenelle’s friend again if she promises to not go back out with Kieffer. Jenelle says that shouldn’t be a problem, since Kieffer’s currently terrorizing the people of New Jersey and isn’t in the picture.

Tori (who looks high as a kite, go figure) robotically tells Jenelle that she needs to stop smoking pot, but Jenelle says she just can’t stop. Eager to keep the good times (and the marijuana joints) rolling, Jenelle invites Tori to go to an upcoming Kesha concert with her. (We all know Jenelle loves Kesha, and The Ashley thanks the good Lord for the day he brought Jenelle and Kesha together.)

Finally, we check in with Kail, who is back with Jordan but having a hard time moving on from Jo because her friends keep sending her photos of Jo and his new hussy, Vee. Kail’s upset to learn that apparently Jo skipped out on daddy duties to hit up ‘da club’ and get tipsy with his gal pal. (Hey, you guys have to remember that Jo is a rap star now. He has to be out poppin’ bottles and what not!)

Back at Chelsea’s we find out that Randy came back and confronted Adam (off-camera, booo!) and eventually threw him and all his crap out of his Chelsea’s house. Chelsea tells her friends (all of which, by the way, are teen moms. They must be teaching “abstinence only” in those South Dakota health classes!) that she’s worried Adam won’t come to Aubree’s party now.

“Mom, please don’t place your dependency issues on me.”

The next day is the day of the party, and Adam hasn’t showed up. By hour two,  Adam is still a no-show. He finally strolls in, just as Aubree’s blowing out the candles on her cake. “Wish that your mommy and daddy stay together!” Chelsea tells her and you can practically see Randy upchuck a little in his mouth. Actually, I think Adam (and I) did too.

In North Carolina, Jenelle tells us that she’s been partying hard, since she’s already a failure at drug testing (and life). The Kesha concert is coming up, but her excitement is halted when she finds out that she’ll either have to do 45 days in jail, or stay on probation. She goes to talk to Barbara, who can’t believe that Jenelle won’t stop smoking weed. Babs suggests a 12-step program, but Jenelle argues that, “a 12 Step is not my fantasy.” (Of course it isn’t; your fantasy is a naked Kieffer swimming around in a pool of marijuana. OK, yeah, I actually did just throw up a little picturing that.)

“Why doesn’t anyone understand that this is Kesha?!”

Jenelle storms out of the house, but later meets up with her lawyer, Dustin, to discuss her options. This poor guy. Seriously, whatever the state of North Carolina/MTV is paying him can’t be enough to put up with this creepgoblin. He’s sporting a lime green polo (must have been Casual Friday) and tells Jenelle that she has to decide between jail or probation.

“I definitely want to do jail,” she tells him. OK, so basically if you ever find yourself uttering that sentence, you’re life’s in the sh*tter. Just sayin’.

The lawyer gives her the dates she’ll have to be in the slammer, and Jenelle is horrified when she realizes that the coincides with the day she’s going to see Kesha! She asks poor Dustin to call the parole officer and explain that the dates will have to be changed because she has to go to this concert. I mean, it’s Kesha, her idol. She’s already got the feathers in her hair, new clothes and a room at some Raleigh crack motel set up, so she can’t possibly change her plans now.

“I should have gone to medical school. Eff this!”

Dustin literally looks like he can’t believe he’s having this conversation. He seriously looks like he keeps expecting Ashton Kutcher to come around the corner and tell him he’s been punked.

Later that night, the Brunswick Police make a stop at Casa de Babs to pick up Jenelle. Apparently, her parole officer gave her a “pop quiz” drug test and, of course, she failed and was hauled into jail. We get a gander at Jenelle’s latest mugshot and then flash over to Babs, who gets a  jailhouse call from Jenelle, begging for her to come and get her out of the slammer.

It’s going to cost Babs $1,000 to bail her daughter out, but Babs has had it up to her curly bangs with Jenelle’s antics. “Ya gonna be 20 years old and ya’ still doin’ this sh*t!” Barbara cackles into the phone. She tells Jenelle she’s not coming to bail her out and tells her, “Ya keep smokin’ weed, weed, weed, weed, so ya know what? Sit in jail!”

“Is it too late to go get some feathas put in my hair?”

It’s at that moment Babs realizes that with Jenelle tucked safely into the slammer, that leaves two second-row Kesha tickets up for grabs! (“Mike, call the sitta! We’re gonna paaaarty tonight!”)

In Pennsylvania, Kail is also going to see her lawyer. She is trying to get more time with Isaac, since DJ Rappin’ Jo is too busy guzzling Crown Royal and getting down with “the honeys” to hang out with his son on his visitation day. Kail shows the lawyer photos of Jo’s clubbin’ escapades, and the lawyer tells her she’s fairly certain that this will secure Kail the extra time.

Meanwhile, Leah’s heading to the court to make her divorce from Corey final. Corey has dressed to the nines for the occasion. He’s once again wearing his trusty lime green shirt and camo hat combo. Seriously?! This is what you wear to court?! The judge isn’t even going to need to hear Leah’s reasons for wanting a divorce. He’ll take one look at that neon tee and stamp a giant “APPROVED” across the divorce papers!

The divorce is really final. We know this because the next time Corey appears on screen, the tag under his name on the little ripped up paper thing now says “Leah’s Ex-Husband.” Dun dun dun!

The episode ends with Jenelle rotting in a jail cell off-camera, and Leah dramatically taking off her wedding ring for the last time. (Of course, MTV got a nice long shot of that one!)

Next week, Leah turns over a new leaf, Chelsea heads to a Kesha Dierks Bentley concert, Kail and Jo go to mediation and Jenelle apparently gets sprung from the clink. I hope they show footage of Babs and Mike “getting crunk” at the Kesha concert!

Did you miss last week’s recap? Catch up here!

(Photos: MTV)

21 Comments

  1. So I just have to say I have Barbara’s littlest fan! My 7 month old daughter smiles and laughs hysterically whenever she is on the screen. Totally cracks me up! Thought you would appreciate someone else who shows the Babs love πŸ˜‰


  2. sometimes i kinda felt sorry for Chelsea, but not anymore after this episode. she is just sorely stupid. and the way she tells her (again) creepy clown-faced friend that she pays for the rent so its her house, omg. stuck-up, spoiled b*tch, who btw looks like cousin itt from addams family with her blonde hair…
    and in Kail’s defence, she has every right to be mad at Jo. not because he was tipsy under 21, but because he also has a child and it happened on his day with Isaac. most teenagers drink&party, and thats cool, but most of them dont have kids. if he was dumb enough not to use a condom, he should deal with the consequences.


  3. You are Hilarious!
    I enjoy your recaps very much! Your Bab’s impersonations makes me LMAO and pee my pants! (β€œMike, call the sitta!”) BAHAHAHAHA!

    My heart aches for Chelsea….She seems to be a good girl, raised right, and with loving parents…She deserves better than Adam! ( Quote: “Chelsea goes to watch Adam’s motorcycle race, and he’s just his usual ball of piss and vinegar, pretending he has no clue who Chelsea is.”) Isn’t that the TRUTH??? God love her; she is a pretty girl too, if she would only take your advice about her hair! (lol) She could pursue her career choice and look so cute! πŸ˜‰ I am rooting for her to find a great guy and then dump Adam!

    Anywho, thank you for your recaps! I am a 51 yr old Grandmother (raising my Grandson and I was also a TeenMom)…This show is close to my heart and you make it even better! πŸ™‚


  4. I’ve been waiting since the end of the episode Monday night for your recap! As soon as Jenelle started going on and on to her lawyer about Ke$ha, I knew it would be a good week to recap. That Jenelle sure knows how to deliver the goods. Great job!


  5. Okay I can’t help it, but Ashley one spelling error… *Dierks not Dirks it is going to drive me insane knowing it is wrong lol. Otherwise…You are amazing and this whole article made me giggle!


  6. Omg, dying! This is the funniest thing you’ve written in ages.

    I wanted to throw something at my tv when Jenelle said she could definitely stay clean and keep on with probation, if it meant she could go the the Kesha concert. I mean, you can’t stay off drugs for your son, but you can for some stupid concert? Ugh!


  7. I dont think you’re mean I think you’re hilarious! lol it’s just a recap and light jokes, no need to get so bent out of shape about it…


  8. Today’s my birthday and I was PRAYING that you would write this in time for me to enjoy! Thanks for making me laugh!!


  9. I love your website and articles but this one just seems like nothing but being mean. Chelsea is a great mom in my opinion. She’s better than most teen moms MTV has shown. Also th reason there were teen moms at the party and so are her friends is because she probably joined a group for teen moms, my cousin is a part of one where I live and loves it. Not only is it good for her but good for the child. It’s pretty obvious they aren’t her usual friends since ther hair and make-up is normal. The camo hat bashing is getting old, it’s his style, leave it alone. I’ve seen guys like that with caps too, he isn’t the only one. Okay, it probably is mostly a southern/country thing. The lime green shirt (I thought) was his work shirt which is why he is always wearing it cuz he does work a lot. Leah made it pretty clear since he never came to doctor’s appts and whatnot. Now yes, I’m certain Jo does hit the clubs but I saw the picture and MTV showed it pretty well too. It looks like a house party not that they’re in the club, what you wrote seemed over exaggeratied. I’ll still visit your site and read but I figured you should know how maybe some readers feel. I’m kinda hoping and thinking I might not be the only one.


    1. Get over yourself if you dont like it dont read it. I love it when she does the recaps, have some sense of humor. Jezzzz……


    2. ..but you probably are : ) This article had me rolling! “Your fantasy is a naked Kieffer swimming in a pool of marijuana!”


    3. You ARE!~ πŸ™‚
      BUT! Not totally alone….This BLOG is a Tongue-and-Cheek-Recap…
      It is meant to “entertain” and give a fun “review”…NOT to “Judge” and “Criticize”…

      Relax, we ALL CARE…Otherwise, we wouldn’t watch. πŸ™‚


      1. I just watched this…wow, this is scary stuff. Clearly Jenelle uploaded this to Youtube to get back at her sister, but that isn’t the point. There must have been A LOT of yelling and screaming directed at Jenelle and her sister throughout childhood – because clearly no one in that family knows how to communicate without raising voices or fists. They all need some SERIOUS therapy and family education!


  10. “…but Babs has had it up to her curly bangs…” I almost died over that one!

    I can’t remember what Corey does for a living, but figured that his neon shirt was a part of his work attire.

    Someone needs to give Chelsea a copy of “He’s Just Not that Into You”. Holy shiz. That poor, poor girl.

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