‘Kendra On Top’ Episodes 8 & 9 Recap: Family Fun at the Playboy Mansion

"Oh, I could tell you some stories about your mommy!"
“Oh, I could tell you some stories about your mommy!”

By Holly Rasmussen

Kendra is back for another episode of this train wreck she calls a reality show. On this episode of Kendra On Top, Kendra, her friend Jessica, and Kendra’s kids are on their way to visit Kendra’s ex-boyfriend, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner. Kendra is talking to Jessica about how when she met Hef. Apparently she was a stripper and only owned two dress because “strippers don’t need clothes.” Well, that’s appropriate to be discussing in front of your young son. She should probably save that for Little Hank’s next bedtime story!

Kendra talks about how much she loved her time at the mansion.

“I didn’t go to college. I went to the Playboy Mansion,” she said.

Seeing Hef interact with the children was so awkward. It was like he was their great-grandpa trying to make them smile…but he’s slept with their mom.  Jessica takes the kids out of the room so Kendra and her geriatric ex-lover can discuss her marriage trouble. Hef tells Kendra he thinks Hank was set up and that’s what happens when you’re a celebrity. Ok, but is Hank Baskett really a celebrity? He hasn’t played football since 2010.

"At least when you hooked up with other girls, I got to join in, Hef!"
“At least when you hooked up with other girls, I got to join in, Hef!”

Hef said he thinks Kendra should give Hank a second chance like the one he gave his wife, Crystal. (In case you don’t remember, Crystal, Hef’s much-younger wife, dumped the old man just days before they were due to get married, but later realized she couldn’t live without his money him and married him.)

Kendra’s probably wishing she would have stuck around the mansion and become Mrs. Hefner right about now.

After the wholesome family trip to the Playboy Mansion, Kendra starts reflecting on her relationship with her own father. Naturally, she has daddy issues.

When they get home, Jessica begins an Internet search for Kendra’s biological father, Eric, whom she hasn’t seen since she was a very young child. Jessica finds an article that says Eric is a multi-millionaire nudist. (Of course he is!)

“We have so much in common,” Kendra says. Who knew a love of being naked was hereditary?

"Go visit a naked man I barely know in a foreign country? What could possibly go wrong?!"
“Go visit a naked man I barely know in a foreign country? What could possibly go wrong?!”

Later, Kendra decides to give her nudist dad a call. She practices aloud what she’s going to say on the phone and it all seems very staged and rehearsed. She says this might be the most important call of her life.

She finally makes the call and her dad seems happy she’s reached out to him. He immediately starts asking about her life. She says she thinks she’s inherited his love of paddle boarding and surfing… and being naked.

Apparently her father lives in Florida and has a second home in Costa Rica. He says he thinks about her every day and is proud of her. Then, why haven’t you called her Naked Eric? It’s pretty amazing to me that he hasn’t reached out to her after all of these years of her being a public figure. Surely, he was aware she was in the public eye. Of course he invites her down to Costa Rica (and acts like that wasn’t planned out ahead of time by WeTV.)

Hank calls and talks to Kendra and Little Hank. Kendra decides it would be a good idea to tell her son that his “papa is on time out.” Ok. That’s a good parenting move, involving your children in your marital spats.

How are we nine episodes in and still don't know the freaking truth!?
How are we nine episodes in and still don’t know the freaking truth!?

Kendra tells Hank that she’s afraid to tell her mom about reaching out to her father because she’s afraid her mom might go to the media. What kind of messed up relationship with your parent do you have to have to be afraid of telling them something for fear of them going to the media? But, to be fair, Party Patti acts crazy most of the time.

Kendra heads to therapy wearing a shirt that says, “I’m Not Sorry” in an attempt to send some kind of message to Hank/the media/her therapist.

Kendra agrees to attend couples therapy with Hank in the future. Finally, they’re going to talk about their issues! Isn’t that supposed to be what this show is about?

That Kendra's regular Playmate Nancy Drew!
That Kendra’s a regular Playmate Nancy Drew!

Next, she goes to Hank’s apartment to talk…or yell at him about his fetish. Whatever. Hank is not there when she arrives, but the door is left mysteriously unlocked. (How convenient!) Of course, she lets herself in and starts going through his phone and laptop, which are conveniently just lying out on the table. Well, she needs to find out the truth somehow!

"Oh hellll no!"
“Oh hellll no!”

Just then, Hank walks in and “catches” her. Come on, seriously?! This is painfully staged. Kendra tells him she’s going to see her dad in Costa Rica and asks him to come stay at the house and watch the kids while she’s gone. He agrees.

Next, they start rehashing the alleged affair. She asks him if he went to cheat with a girl and it ended up being a guy. She says she’s heard that’s happened to “a lot of people.” Again, he dodges the question and just talks about how he loves her. Again, he cries. This routine is getting old.

We have to give the show’s producers credit for managing to stretch this drama to at least nine episodes without letting viewers know what actually happened between Hank and the transsexual!

Next week, Kendra goes to Costa Rica to meet her estranged father!

To read more of Holly’s ‘Kendra On Top’ recaps, click here!

(Photos: WeTV)


4 Responses

  1. are they ever going to tell us if this moron cheated or not? since she took him back now im assuming it was all just made up for ratings..either way its becoming seriously boring

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