Well Juh-nelle, I see ya got anotha season!
Yes kids, Teen Mom 2 is back. Baby Jesus (and Viacom Inc.) have answered our prayers and dropped off another season full of Chelsea doing her hair, Leah trying (unsuccessfully) to keep it in her pants, Kail trying not to make fun of Jo‘s rap ‘career’ and Jenelle getting engaged to random dudes. To all of you who went to church and prayed that the reality Gods would once again smile upon us and give us more of Barbara and the gang, The Ashley thanks you.
Let’s get started before Jenelle gets arrested and I have to write about it instead of doing this recap!
The episode kicks off with a recap of last season. To sum it up: Jenelle crapped out a kid, yelled at everyone, and tried to get custody of Jace; Chelsea got a cosmetology license and Adam got arrested; Kail and Javi argued; Leah got ding-danged drugged out and wanted to put dye in the baby’s head…or something.
We start off with Kail, who is having trouble bringing Isaac to Jo’s place because it’s three hours away and she’s in college. (Like, actual college, where you have to go and stuff and not receive credit for being on an MTV reality show!)
Jo has decided that he wants to be closer to Isaac, so he may be moving to Delaware where Kail lives. Kail, naturally, is worried that Jo will move too close. (The sounds of Jo rapping and Vee twerking to the beat could keep a person up all night, you know!)
Unfortunately that’s not Kail’s only worry these days. She and Javi are not getting along. They keep yelling at each other so they have to go to counseling.
It’s Isaac’s birthday, and Kail’s gone all out because she only had two birthday parties when she was young so she wants better for her kids. (I’m sure those two birthday parties ol’ Smirnoff Suzi threw her were quite the fiesta. Suzi and whatever dude she was boning probably stuck a candle in an empty beer can and passed out before they could finish the birthday song.)
All of Kail’s oddly named friends are in attendance: Peach, Sterling, etc. and they go to a kiddie play area to celebrate. The next day, Kail and her friends are planning to go to a concert. Their plans require that Javi drives Isaac to Jo’s place in Jersey. They’re going to stay over in Philly at a hotel but Kail is worried that Javi will be unhappy about it. She asks him if he’s going to be a big ol’ baby about them staying over in a hotel. Javi says he won’t and agrees to the plan.
Meanwhile in Carolina, Jenelle and Nathan are taking Jace and Kaiser (Roll) to pick out a Christmas tree. Somehow Nathan has gotten hold of a saw (gulp) and is busy cutting down a tree. (Hopefully he checked it thoroughly to make sure it wasn’t the same tree that’s Kieffer’s now making his home in.)
After cutting the tree down, Jenelle takes Jace to have dinner with Barbara, who’s wondering what Jenelle has planned for her birthday. Jenelle says that Nathan has a surprise planned. (Anyone else think that going over to Barb’s, having her fry up a few doughboys and listening to her tell the story of the night her “bitch of a daughta” was born would be way better than whatever Nathan has planned?)
Babs tells Jenelle that Jace has been very bad at school. Although Jace denies it, Babs informs us that Jace hasn’t been listening, will not do his work and that when he comes back from Jenelle and Nathan’s house he is wetting the bed.
Babs thinks it may be Jenelle and Nathan’s epic screamfights that are causing Jace to repeat the bad behavior he’s seeing but Jenelle insists they don’t yell. (Um…please refer to the entire 5B season. I beg to differ on that.)
Next, Barbara brings up the fact that she never sees “Kaisa.” Jenelle says that’s because Barbara can’t get along with her boooooyfriend.
Next we check in with Chelsea, who is now dating a new guy named Cole. He’s really good with Aubree, which makes Chelsea (and Other Chelsey, who’s still around) very happy.
Chelsea gets an alarming email from Adam’s lawyer telling her that the Speed Demon Syphilis Bag wants 50/50 custody of Aubree. Chelsea calls up her dad Randy to inform him of the news and he comes over to talk about it. Chelsea tells him that Adam, who currently has only visitation of Aubree and no custody, wants joint custody and/or unsupervised visits. It’s ridiculous, of course, because Adam currently has no driver’s license, was just in jail and recently had one of his many p0rn star girlfriends file a restraining order against him. As you do.
Not only that, he has no health insurance for Aubree and hasn’t paid child support in five months. Someone needs to revoke his “World’s Best Father” coffee mug. (He’ll have to find something else to drink his Jack and Cokes out of.)
Chelsea decides to contact Adam’s other baby-momma Taylor to see if Adam is trying to get custody of their daughter Paislee. Randy doesn’t think Adam has a shot in hell of getting custody of any kids, but Chelsea’s still worried.
Finally, we head to West Virginia to see what Leah’s been doing (or rather, who she’s been doing) since we last saw her. It appears that Leah is struggling to take care of her three youngins. Jeremy is in town so he and Leah go out for a fine dinner. The restaurant features plastic patio chairs (yes) and a food bar so you know that it’s a fine dining establishment.
It’s been a while since Leah and Jeremy have had dinner together, and it’s been a crazy few months for them, what with all the “court, rumors, and people accusing them of cheating.”
Um…mind you, this scene was filmed after Jeremy blasted his wife in October via Twitter for cheating with Robbie and left the house. Filming for Season 6 didn’t start until December so this must have been filmed during their brief period of reconciliation.
Anyway, Leah still wants to go to therapy, but Jeremy’s work schedule doesn’t really allow for that. (Not to mention he’d have to find time in between Robbie and Leah’s bone sessions to make the appointments. It’s hard, y’all.)
Jeremy tells Leah that he has to work so much because he has to support Leah’s litter, Mary Kay habit and what not, but Leah doesn’t seem to get that hair extension money doesn’t grow on trees. She continues to badger Jeremy, and he finally tells her to eff out and storms out.
In Carolina, Jenelle recently moved (because, as you know, it wouldn’t be a ‘Teen Mom 2’ episode if Jenelle wasn’t shuttling between houses). Hopefully it has plenty of closet space for all of Nathan’s ridiculously cut-up tank tops. Seriously, why even bother wearing a shirt? He chops his shirts so much that they end up looking like he is wearing an apron.
Jenelle tells Nathan that she doesn’t think Babs will ever give her Jace back, so she needs to hire a lawyer to fight for custody.
In Delaware, things are getting really tense between Kail and Javi. After a dude from Kail’s school texts her, Javi gets angry and tells her that he’s no longer taking Isaac to Jo’s so that Kail and her galpals can go to the concert. This sends Kail and the galpals into a fury, and Kail and Javi get into a fight. He tells his sister that he’s tired of Kail’s s**t, and soon he has three females yapping at him at once.
“She wants to be texting all these dudes!” he exclaims. Kail’s pal Sterling and Javi’s sister butt into the fight and soon everyone is just screaming at everyone. The dog that’s sitting on Javi’s lap looks confused, almost like he thinks that he accidentally wandered into Jenelle and Nathan’s house or something.
Kail tells Javi that she isn’t texting dudes for bad reasons, and Javi tells her to get out of his face. Kail goes into the bedroom and we can hear her telling Sterling that the guy that texted her is just a friend and that she’s not cheating on Javi. Sterling tells Kail that Javi is controlling, and that they need to separate for a while. However, Kail doesn’t want to leave.
He comes up to talk to Kail and tells her that he wants them to delete their phone passcodes so there’s no issues of trust between them. Kail says that Javi’s acting crazy and that she’s unhappy in their marriage. She screams, “I’m done!” (a la Amber Portwood) and says she’s not going to the concert.
Meanwhile, Leah’s once again feeling overwhelmed with all the kids running amok in her house. She’s ditched her hair extensions for her big custody court date against Corey. Leah tells her friend that she hasn’t slept in days and her friend says she looks like it. (That’s basically a nice way of telling your pal that she looks like hell.) Corey is wantin’ full custody of the twin babies, and Leah says she’ll fight it until the end.
I have no clue why Corey is worried about Leah’s parenting skills. The twins are in there eating meat slabs from a Lunchable, while Leah’s youngest baby, Addy, is busy banging her head against the sofa. I can’t say if I lived in this house that I wouldn’t be doing the same thing, though.
Leah says that she’s tired of the rumors that she’s an unfit mother, cheating on Jeremy and abusing drugs. Her friend says that, while there are a lot of things Corey and Miranda can say about Leah, being an unfit mom is not one of them. (But the other things…) Leah hints that it’s all that skank Miranda’s fault, and that she’s putting ideas into Corey’s head.
In Carolina, it’s Jenelle’s birthday. Nathan has gifted her with a vanity and a trip to St. Thomas.
“Where that at though?” Jenelle asks. Nathan tells her it’s in the Virgin Islands, and Jenelle still seems confused. (Perhaps she thinks you actually have to be a virgin to go there?)
Jenelle calls Babs to let her know that she and Nathan will soon be heading off to have a “la de da time” in the Virgin Islands. She tells Babs that Nathan’s mom will be watching Kaiser, and Babs says she has to make other plans for Jace now that Jenelle is leaving the country. It ends in a screaming fight with Jenelle yelling, “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” and hanging up on poor Babsy.
In South Dakota, Chelsea is still working at the day spa “a few days a week” (aka whenever MTV is there). Meanwhile, Adam is stressed with baby momma drama, and tells his friend that he wants 50/50 custody so he is able to go pick Aubree up. (Um…on your bike, bro? Come on!)
Adam (who’s wearing a cut-up tank top that could have been taken from Nathan’s closet) tells his friend that he’s only got six months before he has a “career in personal training” and he hasn’t drank for 15 months. Adam says he’s not jealous of Chelsea’s new beau, even though his own dating life is in the crapper. Mmm-hmmm….Cole has twice the looks (and twice the hair) that Adam does.
Chelsea calls Taylor and Taylor tells her that Adam wants 50/50 custody of Paislee too. Chelsea thinks they should team up against Adam, being that Adam seems to be immune to any legal repercussions of his actions. Taylor apologizes for how she acted toward Chelsea in the past, and the girls agree to meet up with Taylor’s lawyer.
In West Virginia, Leah’s heading to her court hearing with her mom. She’s got her hair extensions back, and Corey’s wearing his finest bright orange business shirt. Miranda and Leah’s mom (and the MTV crew) aren’t allowed into the court room, so Miranda just sits there looking flawless.
Finally, Leah and Corey emerge and Leah announces that the judge ruled in her favor, and that Corey won’t get full custody of the twins. The judge did rule that Leah had to actually bring her kids to school on time. Leah also has to take a drug test. She lets the judge know that she is taking prescription drugs for “her headaches” so, you know, if a bunch of stuff comes up on the test, just to ignore that.
The next day, the twins are busy stabbing each other with colored pencils in the backseat of Leah’s car. (As you do). She puts them into Corey’s car (to continue the stabbings) so she and Corey can talk. Corey assures Leah that he didn’t take her to court to be mean, but because he is concerned about Leah’s recent actions and inability to get the girls to school on time.
“They ain’t gonna like tardies in kindergarten,” he tells Leah.
Corey says he can’t stand Leah, and he needs more time with the kids. He doesn’t want to be the “fun-time” guy, and wants to be a more full-time father. Corey suggests that they alternate weeks with the girls, which will give Leah a break from all the youngin’ raisin’ and what-not, but Leah doesn’t seem to like that plan. She worries it would prevent the girls from having a stable home (and couch to bang their heads on.)
The episode ends with all four girls feeling nervous about the upcoming weeks.
Until next week, kids!
I’m sorry but did no one notice the weed pen Nathan was smoking when he was sitting on the counter in that ridiculous red cut off he’s been wearing for two seasons?
Has anyone else notice that Jenelle starts every sentence with ‘I mean…’ and on the last ep I watched of TM2, Nathan started HIS sentence with ‘I mean…’ & in that same monotone voice Jenelle uses. Ugh, it’s not healthy hanging with Jenelle 24/7.
Something about Kail makes me wana beat my head against a brick wall. She can turn really hateful in a flash! Hopefully her n Javi work things out. Chelsea/Adam borrrinnngggg. The new man Cole seems like a perfect gentleman though. And between his voice and Chelseas baby voice I AGAIN wana beat my head against a wall. Janelle same ol stuff different guy. Leah stays high as a kite while the lil girls run around lime chickens with their heads cut off. Her fave thing is to dog out Miranda and Corey blah blah. But for the life of me I cant understand why when she was with Jeremy he “never put them first”(her words) he always puts work first blah blah. And now her latest tweet is how he ALWAYS puts Addy first? This girl is nutso. And yea I’m still tryn to figure out why she was wantin to inject dye in the babys head last season!??get help girl bc you clearly need it! Stop bed hopping and get u some HELP! I grew up with a mom who was a pillpopper and still is and all I can say is get yourself right for those kids!
kail annoys me so much there are not enough words. Javi is a good guy and she just creates and basks in drama.
Leah bugs me because she acts like she is the ONLY mother, the ONLY wife whose husband works away. my husband works in another country for 7 weeks at a time, and I have a 22 month old, 2 dogs, a monkey and 2 fish tanks (just saying) and a big house and garden to maintain. And I do, cos that’s the role of a housewife, I feel.
She needs to understand that she wants a fancy big life, but when Jeremy steps up to provide everything for them, she complains. She is really immature and she definitely has a medication issue, anyone with eyes and ears can see and hear it
You are so right! Listening to Kail nag and nag iver stupid stuff drives me batsht crazy!!!! Creates drama! Javi is a awesome dude that loves those kiddos! Get it together girl for ur man and kids bc u got something good goin on and Im afraid this tm2 show is ruining it with the constant filming. Maybe she feels like she needs to create drama just to stay “interesting’ but shes ruining her life in the meantime. Just my opinion. And Leah, omg, yep shes the only woman in this world with kids and a house to run and a hubby that works out of town. Poor Leah. My husband works out of town also. I work 5 days a week and raise my 2 children and my step daughter and we are just grateful to have incomes! I tell my husband everyday how thankful I am that hes such a hardwrker that wants to provide for his family. I think Leah should have ended up with an Adam. Then she’d see what struggle is! Deadbeat! But she wound up with not 1 but 2 hardwrkin men. I dont understand this girl!!!
I thought it was really sweet how Cole held Chelsea’s hand when Adam came in. He seems like a decent guy – and I totally agreed with Chelsea’s mom, it is about time she got over Adam. She has not been “over” Adam for two years.
Javi was acutally really sweet when he came to make up with Kailyn. She’s finding out how hard it is to be a young mom with two small kids. You do have to miss out of fun stuff like concerts and road trips and crazy nights with friends. I think she rushed things with Javi and wanted to have her “own” baby with him, just like Leah did with Jeremy. Now all they have is more kids and are feeling trapped because they rushed it. I also think Janelle is very selfish to leave both her kids with other ppl and go on vacation. I know it wasn’t her idea, but it wasn’t appropriate at all. You have two little kids that need you at home.
Why does she think Jeremy doesn’t care about his family b/c he can’t up and quit his job to go to therapy once a week? Does she not realize that he pays for Everything?? Mortgage, car insurance, utilities, medical bills, Leah, and her kids. Just by because he makes good money, doesn’t mean that he has tens of thousands of dollars in his savings for a rainy day. Whatever he makes is most likely going right back out. She really has no effing grasp on money or financial responsibilities.
Also, the drug test was bull. It’s not going to show whether or not the medication she’s prescribed is being abused.
Hopefully Corey can try again for full, if not more custody, when this season plays out. I really don’t think Leah is a bad mother, but she definitely needs a break to sort out whatever is internally wrong with her and she has Corey to help her do that.
I mean, Janelle signed over custody of Jace to Babs and that was the most decent thing she could have done for her son b/c she needed to fix what was broken in herself. I can see that Leah is at that point. If your best isn’t good enough, let someone help you so your best can be good enough. It does not mean that you don’t love your kids or that you’re a horrible person, or even a bad mom, it just means you’re not letting your pride or selfishness get in the way of making the best choices you can for your children.
Sorry for the long rant, but as a child who grew up with a mother who was a drug addict and had a constant stream of boyfriends, I see a pattern in her that is so harmful to her children and herself and I don’t want to see her rock bottom. I know what my mom’s rock bottom was, and it was not pretty, and at that point, she still didn’t get the help that she needed. Everything’s good now, but if my mom recognized her problems sooner, and let other people help, things would be so different now. It may not be a “problem” for leah now, but everone hits a bottom.
thank u, it was very suspicious that the test showed Nothing, not even the scripts she’d been prescribed and said she’d been taking, just not abusing. pretty sure she got folli-cleanse and it worked. she was a decent mom, no doubt she loves them, she just needs to get it together and it’s hard to detoz with kids around. if i were jeremy i’d pop her mouth for saying i didn’t put my family first after all he does for them, does she know how hot and back-breaking it is? it’s not like having cameras film u whine, jeez, these girls have no concept of what people actually deal with on real jobs with realistic pay
YES YES YES to the test being cheated. While I’m embarressed to admit this, I’m going to admit a couple things. I paused the screen at the drug test results paper- she tested negative for EVERYTHING including opiates, which would absolutely show positive if she had been taking them in the past six months for her “headaches” like she ADMITTED she was to the judge, saying they were perscribed. This makes NO sense. Also- take a look at her her and the drastic change in color and quality from pre-test, to shortly after she took the test. She bleached the crap out of it (badly, as it turned a shade of brassy orange), and there’s a ton of damage and frizz around the sides from bleaching it.
Here’s where my second admission comes in- a few years ago I was in college, and doing drugs recrationally. Smoking weed, and poppin pills. Thank god I never went down the road of addiction (though I can see how one can, they make you feel sooo good!). I got a really good job offer, but because of the job they make all new employees take and pass a hair follicle test. There is NO way I would have passed it. I did some digging on the internet and there are ways you can pass–they involve washing your hair over a period of one week with cleansing shampoo, vinegar (which changes the PH and opens the follicle) and Dawn dish detergent. Finish it off with a mega-bleach session.
Guess what? My hair ended up looking EXACTLY like Leah’s. But…I completely passed. I saw her and thought “She did her research….”.
I also paused the TV to look at the test results. I was shocked to see NEGATIVE on the opiate category. If she was taking them for “headaches”, it still should have said POSITIVE! They should have made her take the test that day! Yeah, let her clean out het system, WTF!?!?!? Then, you see her driving the girl’s to meet Corey & she’s HIGH AS A KITE. No wonder Corey is so worried about her driving around with them.
Omg! Leah totally aged! She looks so old and worn! Her forehead was so wrinkly! Jenelle, nothing new. Chelsea, yay! Happy for her! Her man is definitely handsome, but that voice was too little boy for me. Hehe. Kailyn, oh dear, hopefully they really overcame those issues.
Leah was suuuuuuuper annoying this episode. She’s lucky that Jeremy just got up and walked away after she shushed him the way she did. So disrespectful. She is seriously so dumb. Talkin bout he needs to put his family first and how he did it before they were married and when he tried to explain that now he has BILLS and RESPONSIBILITIES and KIDS to take care of she shushed him….and she sits there and wonders why they had so many big problems in their marriage. shes crazy
Just love all of the drug speculation with Leah. My guess is prescribed Xanax which was eliminated from the testing since they knew it would be there. Xanax is highly addictive and withdrawal is horrible but it really works well for panic attacks just not very well for relieving day to day stress.
Exactly! Makes you wonder why she was SO HAPPY that she passed the drug test. Whenever I get drug tested for work, I’m just like, “duh, it was positive.”
Eek! You got a positive result for your work drug test?? Not good!! This is a time when you want a negative reading.
Corey and Miranda <3.
You're right she was looking flawless! I love how he doesn't want to just be the fun parent. Does he have custody of them now?
i don’t get why everyone puts it all on jenelle, babs was being such a bitch during that call! she literally just talks over people and just goes on and on, i’d be like Shut UP too! she drives me nuts, funny on tv, could Not deal w her as a mom. love chelsea, hands down the best mom, do think it’s hypocritical of her to call taylor now after she talks shit about her all the time when taylor’s tried to reach out. adam’s a joke thinking he had a shot. i was disappointed in javi, even his sisters said he was controlling and that the guy had just texted to ask about class. hate when guys act like u can’t have a classmate you’re friendly with and not fuck them. leah. oh, leah! just saw the clip on all the teen moms where she got her drug test back and she was So nervous she wouldn’t pass, very telling to me was that Everything was negative, Even the prescriptions they provided that she takes in case they showed up. know what it means, that her script didn’t show up? that she cleansed her system. can’t believe the courts fell for it!
I agree about Babs for the most part. Janelle started their conversation with a reasonable tone of voice and kept it calm while being yelled at. Until she snapped lol. I was almost proud of her!
I think Cole is handsome with his mouth closed. But his teeth and voice are not as attractive. It’s great he’s good with Aubree. Leah was high at the restaurant. I can’t stand Kail, but feel maybe something else had gone on with her texting other guys and this was just one incident. When Javier said he was tired of her sh*t, maybe there was a history we don’t know about. And I was very upset watching Addie with the kitten. She is too rough with it and Leah needs to monitor the girls better…on so many levels! Love Babs! Great recap!
He can’t change his voice,but his teethe can be fixed by his father in law.I am glad for Chelsea that she is happy with Cole,she derserves it.
Lol, Cole’s got ‘tic-tac teeth’!! But a MASSIVE step up from Adam!
It frustrates me that Adam is the textbook version of a deadbeat dad. He treated Chelsea like a POS & made those awful comments about Aubree being a mistake. Now Aubree is 4 and Adam can waltz back into her & Chelsea’s life and the courts will give him some kind of access time to Aubree. Where was he when Aubree was sick? Or when she was toilet training? Or having a temper tantrum?
He certainly didn’t make himself available to Chelsea. But 4 years later he’ll get ‘rewarded’ with access to Aubree. I’m not condoning dad’s not seeing their kids, I’m just frustrated about how some dads are MIA but rock up when their child is older & try for custody. Gimme a break!!!
Mahaha, loved the line about writing it before Jenelle gets arrested again. It’s only a matter of time!
Nathan’s Christmas tree cutting sweater was amazing! What a fashion plate! And Leah…she just makes me angry.
The twins stabbing each other was honestly kind of funny. Leah didn’t notice it for a little while either. You can definitely see it in her face already what the drugs are doing
I rewound that at least 5 times and laughed every time. Ali is a scrappy little girl! The other one though — what’s her name today? Gracie?? – she frigging meant that stabbing. Yikes
sorry….but Javi was out of line with that whole thing. Kail had friends over, and he totally ruined their trip. They planned the concert for months, drove in to be with Kail. I feel bad for the friends more than Kail. Any issues Javi had with Kail should have been done in PRIVATE and on THEIR TIME not her friends…plus they shouldn’t have been fighting in front of their friends, family, and those little kids.
There was definitely something else going on there. Whether Kail really *has* been getting involved with other guys (Maybe Robbie? I want these story lines to start intersecting. Keiffer needs to start getting cozy with Leah and Jenelle’s hot lawyer should pass the South Dakota bar exam and become Adam’s new defense attorney, btw.) or Javi developed some sort of substance abuse/personality issues, something is going on. The body language at the therapist’s was interesting; Javi had his arm over the back of the sofa towards Kail, Kail was, well, Kail. Freaking force field around her.
@TheAshley Will you be attending the TM2 reunion this weekend in LA?
I will I have 2 tickets. Are you going?
Wow…what a mess! The only one that is somewhat stable is Chelsea even though her baby daddy is a psycho. I can’t believe Adam actually thinks he is capable of taking care of two little girls half the time with no drivers license. And btw, did he really date a porn star or did she just look like one? lol I didn’t catch that. As far as Kail goes, I usually side with Javi when they argue because I think Kail can be a real b*tch sometimes but she didn’t do anything wrong in this fight. Javi was being WAY too controlling. Nothing new with Jenelle. She’s fighting with Barbara as usual. That will never change. As for Leah, her story is definitely the craziest right now. I think her and Jeremy tried to make it look like they were working things out for the cameras but you can tell Jeremy is completely over her bulls*it and doesn’t want anything to do with her.
I believe she was a stripper, not a porn star.
Jenelle”I want jace back” Blah, Blah… Kail is whining and b*tching…like always. Leah was high the whole time,and chelseas man is Hot, but I didn’t expect his voice to be like that!Lol I liked the New season 🙂