‘Kendra on Top’ Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: Boring Marriage & the Bartender-Filled Baby Shower

Another episode about Hank's cheating scandal...awesome...
Another episode about Hank’s cheating scandal…awesome…

By Holly Rasmussen

Last week on Kendra On Top, it seemed that Kendra was determined to show Hank, that dirty cheatin’ husband of hers, how it feels to be betrayed. She did this by hanging all over any man with a pulse in London, and making sure it was all captured on film by the paparazzi…naturally.

This week, our favorite reality-TV-fame-lovin’ couple is still arguing over Hank’s “alleged affair.” Good Lord.

The episode starts out with Kendra talking on the phone to her pregnant friend, Jessica. Kendra goes on and on about how much she missed Jessica while she was in London. (We didn’t hear Kendra say this about Hank, of course.) Kendra decides to throw Jessica a baby shower that will be complete with bartenders. Obviously.

"Would you like me more if I had an English accent? Or my own TV show?"
“You had sex with an 80-year-old man for years but you won’t kiss me?!”

Hank, meanwhile, is still mad that Kendra was getting cozy with her former reality TV co-star Jimmy while in London.

“The queen of no PDA got caught in a PDA!” he wails about his wife.

Hank says he has to beg Kendra to give him a hug or kiss but she’s giving it away to every man in London. Since Kendra can’t really deny that what Hank’s saying is true, she heads over to Jessica’s to hang out with her family.

Hanging out with Jessica’s mom makes Kendra long for a close relationship with her mom, Party Patti. Of course, Kendra and Patti will never have a good relationship, being that Patti runs to In Touch Weekly and sells a story every time Kendra confides in her. Well, that and Party Patti is kind of crazy.

When you think your friend is acting like a ho-bag but you can't say it because you're on camera...
When you think your friend is acting like a ho-bag but you can’t say it because you’re on camera…

Kendra reveals to her friends that she has some guys she’s been texting that are “not exactly in the friend category.” She goes on to reveal how hard it is to resist other men’s advances.

“Even just a ‘hey’ from another guy from my past turns me the f**k on,” Kendra said.

Can we just drag one of those Marriage Boot Camp counselors or Dr. Drew or someone from reality TV with authority to divorce Kendra and Hank already? We know how this story is gonna end, guys…

Back at home, Hank has randomly decided to become a Dooms Day prepper and is packing a large emergency bag in case the world ends.

"Be sure to pack a camera in our emergency bag so we can film our experience and sell the tape to WEtv!"
“Be sure to pack a camera in our emergency bag so we can film our experience and sell the tape to WEtv!”

“If you’re so worried about saving the family, why didn’t you think about saving us from that whole scandal?” Kendra tells him.

Um…that does it. No gas mask in the pack for Kendra! She’d be breathing in those toxic fumes if I were Hank.

After that awkward encounter, Kendra goes on to say that being in a traditional relationship bores her. (Well…your husband having an affair with a transsexual model isn’t exactly traditional, Kendra.) She says she needs to let her urges out and once she gets that out of her system she will come back a happier person.

Kendra goes to therapy and admits that she’s been texting guys from her past because, “there was a time when I really believed I was single again. And I was looking for something to heal me.”

This baby is totally over her trainwreck parents...
This baby is totally over her trainwreck parents…

Hank’s parents decide to come for a visit. Hank’s dad, Hank Sr., gives the couple the following marriage advice: “That door look good to go out there and walk away. But, you know what? You learn to figure.”

I’m sorry…what now?

Kendra opens up to her in-laws about the trouble she’s been having with her own mother. Hank’s dad encourages Kendra to try and work it out with her mom. Hank’s dad is sadly suffering from lung cancer, but he seems to be in good spirits about it all. Hank said he feels bad because he was all caught up in his drama and wasn’t really there for his dad. Hank reveals that he was so low at one point that he had a gun in his hand and considered pulling the trigger.

The moment Kendra  realized that she'd have to go a whole day without talking about herself...
The moment Kendra realized that she’d have to go a whole day without talking about herself…

The next day, Kendra and Hank head to Jessica’s baby shower. (Side note: I’m 99 percent sure Jessica’s sister Stacie is the bartender Spencer Pratt flirted with on The Hills).

Kendra decides to turn this baby shower into something about her and keeps going on and on about her crappy family to Jessica. Jessica is nine months pregnant. She just want to eat some cake at her shower and open some gifts, Kendra! Jessica decides to ask Kendra to be her child’s godmother. (Is she trying to become a regular on this show or something?)

After all of the reflection at the baby shower, Kendra decides to call her mom when she gets home. Patti doesn’t answer. (You know Patti ain’t answering unless she’s getting paid by WEtv, guys! No freebies!)

The episode ends with Kendra telling her baby daughter, Alijah, that she will never judge her and always support her. Next week, Kendra will question her husband’s sexuality…naturally.

To read Holly’s recap of the previous episode of ‘Kendra on Top’ click here!

(Photos: WEtv)

8 Responses

  1. Kendra use to be my favorite on the tv show. Now I cant even stand to hear about her antics. Holly was right on the money about Kendra. She’s as fake as her so called marriage. Their marriage is doomed – if in fact they are still married. Hank is a washed up has been.

  2. she’s completely gone over to the dark side, all kendra cares about is herself first and money second. hank saying when she laughs at him, he wants to UGH is so understandable. she’s just takes every chance she gets to get in another dig, another hurt. she enjoys making him mad, it’s sick. he needs to take his kids and leave, let her be single and wild again if she wants it so bad. i love that baby, every time kendra comes n for a kiss she gets the face palm.

  3. This show seems pretty fake to me, and they’re pulling out every hail mary to add more drama to the show so they stay relevant because they know good and well neither one of them is gonna have a job after this.

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