By Holly Rasmussen
We’re back in Kendraland with the former Playboy bunny and her band of scraggly followers. When we last saw her, Kendra was in New York filming yet another reality show…while also filming Kendra on Top. This time around, she’s appearing on Worst Cooks in America because… that’s just what she does. At this point, Kendra’s not even trying to hide her shameless love of the spotlight.
“I’ve done so many reality shows, it’s not even funny,” Kendra said.
Yeah, we noticed.
In New York, a hungover Kendra wakes up in her hotel room from a phone call from her pissed off husband, Hank. He saw some pictures online of Kendra partying at a bar and is mad that she’s giving him a taste of his own medicine.
After the drama with Hank, Kendra meets up with her fellow band of misfits who are also cast on this show. Everyone there is still trying to make a buck off of a gig they had years ago. The motley crew consists of Greg Brady, Steve Urkel, The Bachelor, and JWoWW.
As the competition gets started, Kendra decides to make grilled cheese and tomato soup as her dish. “How hard can it be?” she asks. She ended up adding potatoes to her soup. One of the judges, Rachael Ray, actually liked the potato tomato soup.
The day of her birthday, Kendra gets a big surprise. The hosts of the show bring her a big birthday cake and Hank and Little Hank make a surprise visit. Nothing says “Happy Birthday” like partying with people you called “has-beens” and your disgruntled husband!
One week later, Kendra returns to L.A. The show is over, but we have to wait and see how far Kendra made it. The suspense is killing us.
Once they arrive home, Hank surprises Kendra once again…with a brand new Range Rover. She thanks Hank for the car…and then tells him he’s a bad kisser. No wonder he was trolling for love in the supermarket parking lot!
The next morning, Kendra gets a message that her former friend and fellow girlfriend of Hugh Hefner, Holly Madison, is trash-talking her. Holly wrote a book recently and completely bashed Kendra and Hef. Holly said Kendra demanded a car, dental work and the biggest room. Kendra denies all of this and decides she can’t let Holly get away with this.
At therapy Kendra talks about Holly. She said they were never friends.
“At the end of the day, all we did was f**k the same man,” she said.
Ew. Thanks for that mental image, Kendra.
Kendra decides she has to set the record straight and let the press know what really happened. Why be a mature adult and let it go? After all, how else is Kendra going to keep her name in the press, now that people are tiring of Hank’s transsexual lover scandal!?
Kendra decides she needs to go to Holly’s book signing (with cameras in tow) and confront her about the book. At 6 a.m. the next morning, Kendra gets a call from a radio host who wants to discuss the Kendra and Holly drama. Apparently Holly wrote in her book that Kendra tried to burn her with hot wax to hurt her.
“She said you assaulted her, Kendra!” the radio host shouts. This gets Kendra all riled up.
Kendra’s friend, Jessica, comes over (after dropping her weeks-old baby off somewhere) to egg Kendra on and convince her that confronting Holly is something she should do.
“You can’t just let her get away with it,” she said. (She must be on the payroll too.)
“Hef gave her her face. Hef gave her her body. She was an ugly ass swan,” Kendra said.
“In my five years living at the mansion, Holly never looked at me like a friend,” she said. “She doesn’t even know who she is. She’s living this cartoon-like life. She’s not living on Earth with us. This is disgusting. I’m not gonna let this bitch get away with something like this.”
The episode ends with Kendra in a bookstore parking lot about to go in to confront Holly. I guess we have to wait until next week to see the cat fight. Perhaps they needed time to call in Maury Povich to narrate the scene for us, or to get a few extra chairs in there for throwing purposes. Tune in next week to see how it plays out!
To read Holly’s recap of the previous episode of ‘Kendra on Top,’ click here!