By Holly Rasmussen
It’s time for a new episode of Kendra on Top! This week, Kendra is planning to bring her manufactured drama across state lines! She tells Hank that she wants to go to Las Vegas with her friends to “feel young again.” This is, of course, just a nice way of saying that she wants the paparazzi to film her rubbing up on some dude in a Vegas club. (How else would she get a fifth season of her crappy reality show?)
Hank tells Kendra that she can’t go to Vegas because he has a business trip planned for the weekend. “Hank’s business trip could not come at a worse time,” Kendra says.
Don’t ya hate it when your husband’s work trip gets in the way of your plans to get wasted with your friends? UGH!
That night, Kendra and Hank go to dinner with Hank’s business partner. While Hank (conveniently) steps out to take a call, Kendra decides to talk to his business partner about the rumors that surfaced last year about Hank having an affair with the transsexual model. That’s appropriate business meeting talk, of course.
Since Kendra can’t go to Vegas, she decides to book a room locally for her and her girlfriends to party! They plan to get in some pool time and then go out drinking that night.
The next day, Jessica comes to pick Kendra up for their girls’ night. Hank tells Kendra that she has to be home by 2:30 a.m. because he has to leave for his business trip. (Why do I have a feeling that’s not going to happen?)
The girls head to the pool at their hotel and Kendra immediately spots some hot guys.
“These guys are making me feel young again,” Kendra, who just turned 30, tells us.
She invites the guys to go out with them that night. Wait. What happened to girls’ night?
“I mean I’m married…but I still like to look and flirt…I still like that thrill,” Kendra says.
It’s 11:30, the club is jumping with Kendra and her new guy friends. Back at home, poor Hank keeps calling Kendra but she is not answering. By 1:30 a.m., Kendra is still partying and Hank is still trying to reach her.
“I feel really young right now and it’s fun,” Kendra says.
Hank, meanwhile, is leaving her voicemails about how he has to leave for the airport in an hour so she better get home. Finally, Hank calls Jessica’s husband and he gets in contact with the girls so they head home.
Kendra finally rolls in at 3:05 a.m. and Hank is understandably pissed. He has missed his flight. Kendra gives some half-hearted apology, but we all know she really doesn’t care about anyone but herself. (Also…why didn’t they arrange for a sitter or a nanny or someone to look after the kids that night? Does Hank really want a drunk-as-a-skunk Kendra coming home from ‘da club’ and watching his kids?)
Hank says he can’t deal with Kendra constantly holding the alleged affair over his head.
“Right now you need to decide whether you want to be married to me or not,” Hank says before storming out of the house and heading to Seattle for his meeting.
The next morning Kendra is hungover and calls Jessica to discuss the situation. (I feel like I write that sentence every recap). She says Hank is not responding to her calls or texts.
“For once in my life, I’m taking Hank serious,” Kendra says. (When Hank watches this episode and hears Kendra say that about him, he will surely feel all warm and fuzzy.)
Jessica dumps her baby off for someone to watch and heads over to Kendra’s ASAP to play the role of supportive friend and collect those WeTV paychecks. Jessica asks Kendra if she wants to be married to Hank. Kendra says she doesn’t know, and that she still needs time to decide. (Like…another season, perhaps?)
Kendra calls her therapist for an emergency session. (This lady is probably making bank off of Kendra and Hank and all of their issues.)
The therapist asks Kendra if she subconsciously came home late to punish him.
“Maybe I am still mad at Hank. Maybe I am still trying to punish him,” Kendra says.
Well, that’s obvious. We’ve sat through a season-and-a-half of her punishing him (while also punishing ourselves for watching this crap). Kendra says she feels like the saga is never going to end.
So do we, Kendra. So do we.
That night, Kendra continues to call Hank but he doesn’t answer so she calls GrandDude for advice. GrandDude tells her that he is getting married during the upcoming Chargers-Steelers game while tailgating.
Why, how very white trash of you, GrandDude. You’ve really outdone yourself.
GrandDude tells her she would be “absolutely crazy” to leave Hank. He also tells her she’s been punishing Hank for so long. He encourages her to head to Seattle and meet up with Hank.
Kendra takes his advice and jumps a flight to Seattle to surprise Hank. (So…are the kids just kind of hanging out at home alone, wondering where the hell the irresponsible adults are?)
Kendra walks in to Hank’s business meeting and Hank doesn’t see too thrilled.
On the preview for next week (which is the season finale) they make it seem like Kendra is going to try and break up the wedding of GrandDude! Dun.Dun.Dun!
To read Holly’s recap of the previous episode of ‘Kendra on Top,’ click here!