Courtney Stodden and her crazy mother Krista (and some other drunk chicks) are back for another thrilling episode of The Mother/Daughter Experiment. Now that we’re a couple of episodes into the season, it’s easy to see that Courtney and Krista are the only interesting people. You know they’re messed up when they make Heidi Montag look boring!
Anyway, we pick up with Courtney and Krista arguing in the interview room over whether or not Krista hit on Courtney’s husband, Doug. So…not only did Krista marry her 16-year-old daughter off to a creepy old man, but then she tried to steal said old man away?
Meanwhile, a drunken Heidi is stumbling through the halls when she hears Krista scream to Courtney, “I told your husband that I loved him!” This causes Heidi to fake vomit…or maybe the vomit was real. She has been slinging back drinks this whole time.
As usual, Krista is still trying to make everything about her.
“Why don’t you ask your husband what his fantasy was,” she tells Courtney.
Eww. We are all going to be throwing up right there with Heidi after hearing that.
“I don’t know whether to be concerned or entertained,” Heidi says.
Neither do we, Heidi. Neither do we.
We hear Courtney yell, “He protects me and you don’t,” she then storms out and collapses in tears.
Krista decides to leave the house. (It wouldn’t be an episode of this show if someone didn’t threaten to leave, of course!)
“This is some weird West Virginia s**t,” Jessica says.
No one else in the cast can focus on their own problems because they’re just too fascinated with the level of crazy that is happening in the Stodden family.
“I was emotionally attached to Doug. I have admitted that,” Krista says. “When she finds out what Doug said to me, that is going to destroy her.”
“It doesn’t matter what Doug said. It doesn’t matter if he tried to f**k you in the middle of the night,” Heidi says.
We have just entered the Twilight Zone, folks: Heidi Montag is the voice of reason.
Heidi tells us that her secret to life is that she’s a prayer warrior. She decides to pray over Krista, and apparently the reality gods answer Heidi’s prayers and Krista decides to stay.
Who knew Heidi was a miracle worker? Maybe she can use those powers for good. I can see the new reality show now, “Prayers and Healing with Spencer and Heidi.”
After the miracle, Heidi decides to get wasted. The next morning, Heidi wakes up at 9 a.m. and starts drinking again. As you do. Jessica calls her out on it and Heidi does not appreciate it.
Krista decides to tell the other moms what Doug’s fantasy was that she was alluding to earlier.
“His fantasy was Courtney and me alone with him in bed and me teaching Courtney how to please him,” Krista says.
Does anyone else feel like they need a shower after listening to this?! Ewwww.
The other moms’ jaws drop when they hear Krista’s story. Krista says that Doug told her that he had feelings for her that were different from what you are supposed to have for your mother-in-law. She admitted that she told him that she had feelings for him too, but she put a stop to it when he started talking about the sex stuff.
Just then, Courtney walks in.
“Mom, why don’t you start being honest?” she says.
Courtney proceeds to put her mom on blast by telling everyone that she has a recording of Krista sitting in Doug’s Jeep saying, “I think about you sexually all the time.”
Courtney says it was Krista who brought up the threesome idea to Doug, not the other way around. Krista denies this, and then Courtney throws us for even more of a loop. She tells us that this isn’t even the first guy that Krista has tried to steal away from her! What?! Courtney tells us that when she was 12 years old she had a 17-year-old boyfriend and Krista “fell in love” with him!
What? There are so many things wrong with that story. Can someone make us a spreadsheet to keep track of everything?!
They realize that Krista and Courtney are far beyond being helped by regular people, so they call Dr. Debbie in. Krista tries to explain away the 17-year-old boy incident by claiming that the boy was hitting on her when she was “emotionally vulnerable” and that she became “emotionally attached” to him. Hmm… That phrase sounds familiar.
Dr. Debbie calls her out on it.
“You were wrong. You did s**t that a mother shouldn’t do to a daughter,” the Doc tells Krista. “You’ve got to tell your daughter that you’re sorry.”
After an emergency meeting with Krista, Dr. Debbie calls all of the moms and daughters in. She makes them do a group activity where they put each pair in the “hot seat.” Then, the other moms and daughters will give them feedback on what they think is wrong with their relationship. Oh yes. By all means, let’s let the blind lead the blind!
First up is Heidi and Darlene. The groups talk about Heidi’s drinking…and Kim thinks they’re all talking about her because they used the word ‘alcoholic.’ Sorry, Kimmy, but from the looks of it, ol’ Heidi could drink you under the table!
Next up is Courtney and Krista. Krista gives a non-apology to her daughter.
Courtney brings up the fact that Krista tried to steal her previous boyfriend, in addition to her current creepy husband. As always, Shar‘s face is priceless when she hears this information. Honestly, the only people we need to keep on this show are Courtney, Krista, Heidi and Shar (whose faces give us the strength to finish watching this terrible show.) Everyone else can go.
Natalie says that she thinks something went on between Doug and Krista and that Courtney is wrong for staying with him. Courtney disagrees and says Doug was the victim in the scenario. Can’t we just agree that you’re all straight-jacket-ready and call it a day?
The next activity is switching up the mother/daughter duos. Krista is assigned Natalie as a daughter. Jessica is assigned Heidi, Shar is assigned Kimberly, Karen is assigned Josie, and Kim is assigned Courtney. All of the new mother/daughter duos do pretty well relating to each other…except Krista and Natalie. All Krista wants to talk about is Doug, but Natalie is not having it.
“Sometimes hanging out with Krista, it’s like I’m on another planet,” Natalie says.
That’s how we all feel whenever we watch this show, Nat!
Next week, we get a break from the Doug/Krista/Courtney drama when it becomes Josie’s turn to threaten to leave the show. We also see a fight almost erupt between Natalie and Kim. Our money’s on Natalie!
To read a recap of the previous episode of ‘The Mother/Daughter Experiment,’ click here!